Modestaustin811
30-07-13, 19:24
I'm at a loss right now, all I feel like doing is crying and never leaving my bed.
I've been dealing with anxiety issues since I was 16 years old with wavering degrees of intensity over the years. There's literally so much to write, about my struggles through GAD and Panic. About how over the last couple years I used alcohol to mask my symptoms. How the alcohol stopped working and started making my anxiety worse.
Since quitting the booze my anxiety is rampant, and with it this overwhelming feeling of depression. I've been getting this feeling lately like my mouth is burnt at the front. The only thing that helps it is chewing gum 24/7 but I hate it, and it's all I can focus on. I'm just going through a serious struggle right now, I can't find any joy in myself, I can't stop obsessing. I'm so ****ing tired.
Tomorrow, I have to take a plane to Halifax to visit my best friend and go to a music festival till monday. He and my friends down there have no idea I'm going through all of this, I don't know how I'm going to do it. Like literally, don't know how I'm going to do this. I can't cancel, the plane ticket is already bought, so is the concert ticket. My mom would literally have a meltdown on me if I bailed because she paid for the ticket.
Not to mention after that, this september I'm suppose to move to a new city to start school. I'm 23 years old, and I'm finally starting college, but I can't even picture myself living in a new city, alone, dealing with all this crap.
I can't take it, I don't want to leave my bed. I need help. Like I feel like I need to be committed. I can't deal with this.
Any advice? anyone dealing with something similar? I just feel like the weight of the world is on me now while I'm in one of the most fragile states I've ever been in.
I've been dealing with anxiety issues since I was 16 years old with wavering degrees of intensity over the years. There's literally so much to write, about my struggles through GAD and Panic. About how over the last couple years I used alcohol to mask my symptoms. How the alcohol stopped working and started making my anxiety worse.
Since quitting the booze my anxiety is rampant, and with it this overwhelming feeling of depression. I've been getting this feeling lately like my mouth is burnt at the front. The only thing that helps it is chewing gum 24/7 but I hate it, and it's all I can focus on. I'm just going through a serious struggle right now, I can't find any joy in myself, I can't stop obsessing. I'm so ****ing tired.
Tomorrow, I have to take a plane to Halifax to visit my best friend and go to a music festival till monday. He and my friends down there have no idea I'm going through all of this, I don't know how I'm going to do it. Like literally, don't know how I'm going to do this. I can't cancel, the plane ticket is already bought, so is the concert ticket. My mom would literally have a meltdown on me if I bailed because she paid for the ticket.
Not to mention after that, this september I'm suppose to move to a new city to start school. I'm 23 years old, and I'm finally starting college, but I can't even picture myself living in a new city, alone, dealing with all this crap.
I can't take it, I don't want to leave my bed. I need help. Like I feel like I need to be committed. I can't deal with this.
Any advice? anyone dealing with something similar? I just feel like the weight of the world is on me now while I'm in one of the most fragile states I've ever been in.