Cipralex - Gave me my life back

[Thunderbird 4]

I have not been on here for some time, but I thought it useful to share my story to help others.

After suffering from generalised anxiety for most of my life (I am now just turned 50) which has restricted both my life and that of my families I am now a different person as a result of 12 months therapy with Cipralex (not Citalopam).

At the hight of my anxiety phases I was unable to leave the house, couldn't function and most days restricted to just going to work then coming home and going to bed..! I know it is hard to believe for many of you (and I was one of them) that anxiety plays lots of tricks not just on our mental wellbeing, but moreover the physical aspects that can be debilitating. To walk round a supermarket would have been a major challenge,let alone think of doing more excreting things. I would not accept that there is nothing physically wrong with me, but now in reflection I was caught in the never ending cycle of anxiety feeding the symptoms and the symptoms feeding my anxiety. You can't see this when you are in the bubble, but others can who love you and care for you can. If you have a good GP they will also try to give reassurance but if like me that never went into my brain as I thought I knew more after trawling the internet for a solution.

We all know that the internet can be a dangerous thing as a simple headache can be a a catastrophe if you are looking for answer on the internet?? my advice on this one......just stop searching the internet as it will make you worse and unfortunately there are lots of people who will cash in on your anxiety by offering magic solutions.

I have tried CBT and all the talking therapies to no avail which has been both a costly and mixture of outcomes non positive. So I decided to bite the bullet, as after reading so many negative posts about Cipralex I was somewhat hesitant to try this method...but blimey am I glad I did..!!

It must be straight with you all here, that in the early phases of taking the medication you will get some side effects that will mimic and heighten your anxiety, but PLEASE stick with it as the short term effects, will reap benefits in the long run.

So where am I 12 months on?

I have just returned from holiday abroad after never thinking I would ever have the courage to leave the house, never mind get on a plane, I am out walking most nights, riding my push bike, socialising regularly and feel a total different person. My family are benefiting, my friends have noticed a difference and I am already planning next years holiday abroad.

I know its tough guys, but sometimes we have to give in and admit that medication therapy can be one solution to help us overcome this dreadful condition which (will if you let it) will blight your life and that of those who love you if you let it get a grip of you.

I only take 10mg of Cipralex each night and don't let your doctor fob you off with the cheaper Citalopram. which I find a therapeutic dose without major side effects.

I hope this helps inspire others to think about considering medication as a support to help overcome their anxieties as I was a NON believer and panicked over major side effects. You must give it time, so don't give up battle through as if you are strong and brave enough to deal with what you have already gone through then you will take this in your stride.

[jayjoe18]

Thunderbird 4, I thank you so very much for writing this post! I actually feel I could cry right now as what you described is exactly what I'm going through right now. I've had anxiety for 7-8 years now and it's gone from social anxiety, to health anxiety, to toilet phobia and now I'm agoraphobic at the age of 20. I've tried many therapies and CBT and though it has helped slightly it's never gotten me over this horrible illness. I've become much worse over the years but I'm terrified of taking medication. My mum and doctor think it's the best thing for me but I'm so afraid of taking them and getting side effects. I've read countless scary posts on the internet about the side effects and negative things about medication, it's so lovely to hear such a positive post about it. Funnily enough even though I'm frightened I have researched and the one drug I think I'd be willing to take is Cipralex so your post is even more of a comfort to me right now. I've read and heard so many things on here and from family who have said I should try meds but I've never been able to. This post is just the push I needed at the moment, thank you! I hope I can be brave and get my life back like you. x

[EnoughAlready]

just out of interest Thunderbird - I assume Cipralex is also called Escitalopram ?

How do you get on with alcohol coz there are a number of horror stories regarding alcohol and citalopram

[Thunderbird 4]

Hi,
First of all jayjoe, I was around your age when all the anxieties you mention started to creep in and get worse (because I let it..!!). Let me tell you I could write countless best sellers on the subject and how it has hindered my life....dont let that happen to you. I am no advisor, but what have you got to lose by giving medication a go....we all need a little help sometimes. If you go for Cipralex is more expensive for your GP but it is the more refined version so gives minimal side effects. I repeat from my earlier post....you will have to stick with it, as no good taking for a couple of weeks and expecting a miracle cure, its a long haul but in my case has been well worth it.

Just as an example when my anxiety was at the highest, I could not only barely get out of bed, but I would suffer from violent dry heaving every morning, which worried everyone in the family, so I can tell you I have been to the lowest point with anxiety you could ever imagine.

I understand about you aversion to taking the meds, and I have thrown countless medications away prescribed by the doctor as I feared even popping then in my mouth and I have even lied to my wife saying I was taking them..!

I can recall taking the first Cipralex and fearing the worse, so just to put your mind at rest here are some of the minimal effects I had: Morning headache, butterflies in my stomach, feeling a little jittery...but I battled on as I thought things could get no worse than they were. Oh...and I have put a few pounds on, but that could be more to do with being more relaxed with things.

Enougalready; no problems with alcohol but if I do go out for a drink I avoid taking the night-time tablet, so in theory skip a day. I must admit though that I have only recently started drinking again (a few pints at the weekend) but when I was in the depths of anxiety I would drink everyday (two pints a day, which may not sound much) in the assumption that this would help....boy was I wrong alcohol only makes things worse, so if you are looking to walk away from anxiety then avoid drinking if you can.

I just wanted to give a little aspiration to many of you out there as this thing can be beaten but it is hard work which if you think of how brave you all are now dealing with Anxiety, then that bravery can be put to good use to help you on the path to getting better.

Remember, dont get looking on the internet as I did hourly, daily etc for the cure....you are the cure and with a little help you can at least start to see some improvement.

Let me also tell you, I cried my eyes out when out plane arrived at our holiday destination, so did my wife as I NEVER thought I could have ever done this.

I have my life back and am going to make the most of it.
:yesyes:

[chantelle]

Hi Thunderbird 4
I have got a couple of questions.....did you take depression from your anxiety and how long were you on cipralex?
I have been on 20mg since the start of April but although I am improving it is very slowly.
I am still in the same stressful job (training) that I was in when I started to feel unwell but now the staff morale is so low...it's as if we are all suffering and the manager is blind to the effect work is having on the staff. Unfortunately although Iam actively looking for another job there is none there.
I just wonder if I will ever get back to my old self if I stay here because then I could cope with all the changes.....suppose I am looking for reassurance as Iso want to feel what youare experiencing.
I am delighted for you x

[Thunderbird 4]

Hi Thunderbird 4
I have got a couple of questions.....did you take depression from your anxiety and how long were you on cipralex?
I have been on 20mg since the start of April but although I am improving it is very slowly.
I am still in the same stressful job (training) that I was in when I started to feel unwell but now the staff morale is so low...it's as if we are all suffering and the manager is blind to the effect work is having on the staff. Unfortunately although Iam actively looking for another job there is none there.
I just wonder if I will ever get back to my old self if I stay here because then I could cope with all the changes.....suppose I am looking for reassurance as Iso want to feel what youare experiencing.
I am delighted for you x

Hi,
There is so many coincidences in this post from you. I spent quite a bit of time as a management development trainer and how..I do't know managed to hide my anxiety well. One thinks that a confident person on the outside is the same on the inside and I used to dread every single minute of the day I was doing that job. I would worry at night, worry all weekend and face a constant battle to put a brave face on things. It was only when I took the plunge a quit the job to go to a less stressful position I realised the lasting legacy that stress had played in heightening my anxiety.

Be patient with this, and I only take 10mg which I started in May 2012, so I have only really started feeling the benefits since early 2013, so that's around 9 months. I am sure this is where some people fail with this medication as they either cant hack the side effects, or they get too impatient and give up, thus going on a roller coater of withdrawal and making them feel poorly again.

I still take medication and I will continue to do so as long as it keeps me feeling better. I was assessed for depression and was told that I was not depressed, but more a feeling of being low with the continual daily battle of arising every morning to the dread of the anxiety fuelled day ahead.

If you want to feel better, then take it one step at a time, and I am sure your job will not help, particularly if you are a group trainer where you are dealing with a classroom environment. Please give it time and as you start to feel better you will be distracted by getting on with normal activities and hopefuly with time your anxiety will be at a manageable level or a thing of the past.

Good luck
x

[chantelle]

Thanks for your quick reply.......I feel so low at times and my GP said it was depression due to heightened anxiety, but maybe it's just the same as you.
Like you I intend to take medication for as long as I need to.....this is my 3rd bout of 'depression' and both the 2nd & 3rd time was because of medication withdrawal!!! (This time my GP insisted I tried to reduce cipralex against my wishes and this sence of injustice is killing me. I feel that I am suffering daily as she decided to play God...but I don't think she will do this again.
I just wish I was at your stage.....what do you do now (being nosy, lol) x

[Thunderbird 4]

Thanks for your quick reply.......I feel so low at times and my GP said it was depression due to heightened anxiety, but maybe it's just the same as you.
Like you I intend to take medication for as long as I need to.....this is my 3rd bout of 'depression' and both the 2nd & 3rd time was because of medication withdrawal!!! (This time my GP insisted I tried to reduce cipralex against my wishes and this sence of injustice is killing me. I feel that I am suffering daily as she decided to play God...but I don't think she will do this again.
I just wish I was at your stage.....what do you do now (being nosy, lol) x

Hi,
You will get to my stage, and like you I NEVER thought there would be a life out there again. I had resorted myself to the fact that life would just pass me by and the imprisonment of anxiety would stop me from seeing and doing many everyday things. Well at last I have put a stop to that, but not without the support of a good GP and the medication.

When I quit my job in the training field ( I took a redundancy package, so had a financial cushion) I had no clue really what I was going to move onto, but as I had experience in a number of areas I was reasonably confident that I could find another job, but still worried that my anxiety would come and catch me out, especially the agoraphobia element. To cut a long story short I manage a very large Social Enterprise which focuses on the needs of the community and the bonus is its local, flexible hours and a great group of Trustees who I report to. I am lucky in that this role has suited me and I have been able to manage my major anxiety episodes around it.

Once you break free from the attitude that you are never going to get better then things will improve. I have also made a concerted effort (apart from on here today to help others) broken free from even talking about my anxiety as it will only remind me of the past and we can't change that, but we can influence what we do in the future so set yourself some goals and treats as milestones.

I am no GP, or heath specialist but maybe my GP was right, I was just low and not depressed as I was so fed up with the condition, yet I had everyting going for me, no money worries, a loving family etc, so in theory the only problem was the anxiety. I even come to the point where I was spending a fortune on books, online courses and hypnotherapy to sort it out all with no change what so ever. People with anxiety are very clever at overriding any reassurance.

I am seriously thinking of writing a book about my 40 odd years of anxiety to let others know they are not unusual, nor do they have unusual symptoms as I can tell you I have had everything from symptoms of a stroke, through to a resting heart rate of 180 bpm which both conditions put me in hospital and guess what...I am still here to tell you the story, so that says something..!!

Look forward, not backward, take it day at a time and don't hurry things up as your body will eventually adapt to the medication and you will start to feel better.

Take care.

[Down_Lo]

Hi guys,

Thanks for your post guys, I can relate to a good few of the issues on that you guys have mentioned.

I have the same problem just now that I have the idea that I can cope and get through it without the meds but I am coming to to realisation that I need help along with some meds. I am worried about previous prescriptions that have been prescribed and put them away and told myself I can do this without.

I started a new post after joining the other day and hearing others stories and sharing mine that its helped alot to know im not alone with it. I have got my new Gp sorted today and have a medical next Wednesday, looking forward to it now as my GP just now isnt the best and I dont have a set doctor, and its repeating things over and over as they dont know the situation.

Also having the same problems with chantelle that my work is the main source of my anxiety and through frustration of bad management and the constant problems and negativity within my work and knowing that I cant do anything about it brings on my anxiety. Its like the film groundhog day, every day is the same but filled with constant but avoidable problems if other would do their jobs properly in the first place!

I know things will never change in there and its out my power and have been trying constantly to find another job but its easier said than done with the current climate, try to think positive and say well at least i am lucky enough to have an income but its becoming unbearable.

I feel theres something that I can do that should help like going back to the gym and get my confidence back up and not to avoid social things with friends and family, rather than sitting in and avoiding things. Over the last 2 years it just makes things worse, it will go away for weeks sometimes a month or two then just comes back with a vengeance.

Anyway hoping that next week I can get the ball rolling!

[ScheifferB]

Do you ever get the sort of vivid dreams and the de-realization effects from Cipralex? I had them with Citalopram, the sort of 'dreamy feeling'