I said 'NO'!

[meche]

Why can't people accept that! On my road to recovery I've learned alot about myself and the reasons I am the way I am. I have in the past put on a front and did things for the sake of doing them and to keep people happy regardless of how it made me feel. Over the past few months I've dropped the front & pretence I sometimes put on and become me again. It has been noted that these days I seem more confident and comfortable in my own skin :yahoo:. Result!

So what's the problem? Some people (friends/colleagues) still think it's acceptable to push and push for me to do things. For example, a few of my girlfriends were organising a long weekend in Spain. Sounds fab but at the time it didn't grab me. It was nothing to do with anxiety or panic - I just wasn't up for it - simple! At first I looked for reasons/excuses to get out of it but in the end I thought 'No - I shouldn't have to'! It went down like a lead balloon. In the end it was cancelled because they couldn't get numbers and the atmosphere was frosty for a while.

It was the same with work. A bowling night was organised and again it didn't grab me but there were whispered tones as to why I wasn't going. Believe it or not I am a very social person but sometimes, just sometimes I don't want to be social. Is that so hard to understand? Am I being selfish? Why do people have a problem with this? It's nothing personal and there isn't anything wrong. So when I say 'No', I mean it. Don't push or try and talk me round, just accept it and get over it! Phew - sorry rant over! xx

[Down_Lo]

Hey I know exactly where your coming from, I always say yes sometimes I feel because im quite a thoughtful person and would go out my way to help ppl when they need a hand or favour etc.

Although I notice when theres an occasion where I cant do whatever is asked and theres a weirdness to it. Usually as you say they will follow it up with a suprised look and start to ask further questions and push me why!?

My close mates call me the 'yes' man and say just say no! lol. It is stupid but i like doing favours for ppl if i can but I know when im being taken for an idiot or a liberty. It usually revolves around my car and taking ppl here and there, I end up losing it and wish i didnt have a car, feels like a taxi service half the time.:lac:

[Spot-the-frog]

I so relate to this, I had a terrible problem with the word NO! I am now putting myself first and being honest about what I do or don't want to do and funny enough it is not going down that well with certain people. I think it is a shock to them that we are behaving differently but they will get used to it, if they don't then that is THEIR problem not ours.

I think I used to worry about hurting other peoples feelings but this was always at my own expense, at the end of the day we are entitled to say no and have our own opinions.

:D

[Down_Lo]

I think I used to worry about hurting other peoples feelings but this was always at my own expense, at the end of the day we are entitled to say no and have our own opinions.

:D

Thats exactly how i felt that i didnt want to let them down or hurt their feelings, maybe looking back its a bit of the awkward confrontation or questions that it may bring on aswell. I usually make random excuses just to get out of things sometimes which annoys me as I dont want to look like a liar if they ever found out! :whistles:

[Magic]

Spot the frog. I could not have put it any better.

[meche]

That's what I got fed up with - making random excuses. I felt guilty because I then had to keep up the pretence when somebody would ask me how that 'party' went. What party? Oh that party? It was ummmm ..... not real - infact I was the only person there!!!! It got complicated. No - from now on it's a case of 'yes - I'd love to do that' or 'thanks but I just don't feel like it'! xx

[SarahH]

A very close friend of mine always reminds me that "NO is a complete sentence"....I am unsure if that is grammatically correct but it sounds good to me!!:)

[stevepll]

fair play and good on you.

[Down_Lo]

That's what I got fed up with - making random excuses. I felt guilty because I then had to keep up the pretence when somebody would ask me how that 'party' went. What party? Oh that party? It was ummmm ..... not real - infact I was the only person there!!!! It got complicated. No - from now on it's a case of 'yes - I'd love to do that' or 'thanks but I just don't feel like it'! xx

Sad to say but i usually am quite good a lying and rearly get caught (not chuffed with myself btw)

But there has been times where I have tripped up and feel like and idiot. Honesty is the best key!