should be enjoying the hols

[Torri]

I have 6 weeks off work but I always find my anx is on high when im not in my normal routine
The last couple of days I feel like a panic attack is about to happen....im constantly checking my pulse etc....I have not been like this in a while.
Why cant I enjoy the break like everyone else

[PanicPod]

Because we are creatures of habit and you are used and comfortable to your routine.
And as my counsellor often says - you can only presume that everyone else is happy or getting on with things or not anxious or in your case, enjoying the holiday. Maybe some are feeling just like you.
My husband is off this next week and whilst I am looking forward to spending the time with him I am also thinking that it will put extra pressure on me. I can deal with the anxiety on a day to day basis with him at work but know that it isn't going to be as easy next week, although I am going to try to change my routine to see if something new helps me.
It sounds very much as if you have forgotten how to relax - that is another of my problems, too. I tried listening to some motivational anxiety relaxation things on YouTube this morning and whilst I didn't feel that I was relaxing properly when I got up I did actually feel more relaxed, so subconciously it must have worked. So I feel more confident to try again tomorrow and possibly begin to master this relaxation malarkey.
Do you have anything planned for the 6 week holiday - days out, any plans for the house or garden etc. Maybe if you were to just plan one or 2 small things for this next week you will feel a bit more in control of your time. Why not go to the library and get out a stack of books and consider yourself a bookworm for a few days!
I have been reconsidering the things I do in my life and over the next couple of weeks I am looking to make some changes for me. I have just had an appointment with a psychologist and I am starting CBT and have homework to do before I next see her. I know what I need to do to help myself it's just motivating myself to do these things!
I hope that you will enjoy the rest of your holiday and that when you are back in work you will be wishing you are still off and relaxing.
Take care of yourself. xYx

[b1001]

I have found it difficult to enjoy time whist suffering with anxiety, it's almost as if I want the time to pass as quickly as possible, I also seem obsessed with forward planning to make sure I am active and have something "booked in".

My recommendation would be to sort out a routine for the 6 weeks, to include:
- getting up at the same time
- doing set things everyday - e.g housework, seeing friends, going somewhere
- why not have a walk on your own every afternoon for an hour?
- think about set things you can do with your husband everyday, such as DIY, cooking dinner, going shoppping etc
- build a schedule
- make sure you get a few evenings to yourself, PanicPod raises a good point, reading could be a great start
- get into a new TV show or series of movies and watch a few everyday
- have some dates with your husband and include time out with friends
- Do some vounteer work, you could offer to help your family with something like doing their garden or taking your grandparents out?

Hope the above helps, it has certainly worked for me.

[Pipkin]

Torri,

I completely understand - I'm exactly the same. I have to force myself to keep a routine and stay busy or my anxiety takes off. I look forward to some time off work and then when I'm off, all I want to do is go back. Sad, isn't it?

I agree with the other posters, we have to learn to relax more and also keep some structure in our days.

Pip x