Beabaker1983
03-08-13, 17:28
I came on here a few weeks ago after a period of debilitating panic attacks... I turned 30 a few months ago and i didn't want to have an issue with it but i knew i would... i went from my 'immortal' 20's to my 30's and to realising i am a mere mortal! (sounds silly i know)
I have always worried about death, dying and have health anxiety but I guess these thoughts coupled with feeling run down just made my body react to my mind!
I have had PA's at a few different stages of my life and have researched them so I know they can't hurt me, ( i struggle to always believe this when irrational) i think they do however sometimes come from my negative thinking styles and from letting the inner gremlin out of its dark place to wreak havoc over my mind...
What I wanted to day is I do think getting better is a learning experience, I thought my panic and churning tummy used to one from nowhere and just be spontaneous, now I know they are from the thoughts and things I tell myself when my mind chatters all day long! I feel one step ahead of them again now and I am able to reason with the gremlin better than a few weeks ago, progress is progress no matter how small. My churning tummy has now stopped which was the one symptom that I struggled with, I never let it stop me from carrying on with my daily routines as I have children to take care of and they had to come first.
What I wanted to say was I am able to smile now for many reasons...
. I don't feel alone and isolated anymore now I have found people like me here.
. I can and do take a great deal of comfort from reading other people's stories.
. I now know there is help to get better no matter how bad or how long I have suffered
. I have a pen pal who lives in a different country, I met her here and we share our thoughts often which gives us both support
. I just feel so lucky to have come through yet another storm the right way
. I can accept who I am and why I am here
. I know I will have setbacks and I need to work on that wretched gremlin but its nice to feel supported so thank you to everyone who reads this... It might sound a bit OTT but I am in a good place and u wanted to give thanks...
---------- Post added at 17:28 ---------- Previous post was at 17:23 ----------
* just wanted to give thanks... Silly autocorrect :)
I have always worried about death, dying and have health anxiety but I guess these thoughts coupled with feeling run down just made my body react to my mind!
I have had PA's at a few different stages of my life and have researched them so I know they can't hurt me, ( i struggle to always believe this when irrational) i think they do however sometimes come from my negative thinking styles and from letting the inner gremlin out of its dark place to wreak havoc over my mind...
What I wanted to day is I do think getting better is a learning experience, I thought my panic and churning tummy used to one from nowhere and just be spontaneous, now I know they are from the thoughts and things I tell myself when my mind chatters all day long! I feel one step ahead of them again now and I am able to reason with the gremlin better than a few weeks ago, progress is progress no matter how small. My churning tummy has now stopped which was the one symptom that I struggled with, I never let it stop me from carrying on with my daily routines as I have children to take care of and they had to come first.
What I wanted to say was I am able to smile now for many reasons...
. I don't feel alone and isolated anymore now I have found people like me here.
. I can and do take a great deal of comfort from reading other people's stories.
. I now know there is help to get better no matter how bad or how long I have suffered
. I have a pen pal who lives in a different country, I met her here and we share our thoughts often which gives us both support
. I just feel so lucky to have come through yet another storm the right way
. I can accept who I am and why I am here
. I know I will have setbacks and I need to work on that wretched gremlin but its nice to feel supported so thank you to everyone who reads this... It might sound a bit OTT but I am in a good place and u wanted to give thanks...
---------- Post added at 17:28 ---------- Previous post was at 17:23 ----------
* just wanted to give thanks... Silly autocorrect :)