Sootica
03-08-13, 22:32
My best friend hates my boyfriend and it's driving me crazy - she doesn't like that he uses drugs and she doesn't like him, mainly because when I first met him years ago (90's) I went out with him for about a month and then he dumped me and I got really upset and she blamed him for it - even though there were various other traumas going on in my home life and at school which were upsetting me also. He also made a stupid comment about her weight once - which he is sorry about and it wasn't meant maliciously at all he just says stuff and is a bit tactless - he makes fun of himself more often.
He's a lovely guy who looks after me, he's clean and tidy, intelligent and fun to be around.
Now we're all a lot older and i've been dating him for a few years or so but she still holds a deep hurt and if ever I want to discuss anything that's troubling me - like friends do from time to time - I feel if it's anything that relates to him that I can't talk to her as she will chalk it up as ammunition with which to hate him for the sake of it. She won't come and visit me because of it and it's making me really sad. What's even more frustrating is that she uses drugs herself just different ones - so even though she knows how many scare stories and misinformation is out there - she won't apply the same logic to someone elses situation.
I have really bad days sometimes as I am looking for work after many years of being unwell with OCD and anxiety - sometimes I just want to talk to her, a few times I've taken stuff myself and she's completely freaked, way more than my mum or any of my other family or friends, the only person I feel like I can talk to is my mum, but she's getting on now and she does worry about me so I really don't want to go to her too often, she's been an amazing support getting me through years of head problems and she really deserves a break from all that stuff, so I end up talking to no one - personally the only objection I have with drugs are the various dangers brought about by illegality - as an adult child of an alcoholic, I know which drug users I'd rather be in a room with and alcohol is the last on the list!
I really want my friend to get to know my boyfriend, she's never even had a conversation with him, she's been on the same table at a mutual friends wedding, that's the most time she's spent talking to him - and that was hardly at all. I feel if she got to know him, she would like spending time with him and feel a lot less worried about me. pphhhhh just need to let off steam I hate that the law forces this clandestine situation where people can't talk openly about things and sometimes I feel so stressed but have no one to talk to, boyfriend is great for talking but sometimes I need my girlfriends :P Don't know what to do to reconcile the situation - will this still be an issue when we've got blue rinses?? :(
He's a lovely guy who looks after me, he's clean and tidy, intelligent and fun to be around.
Now we're all a lot older and i've been dating him for a few years or so but she still holds a deep hurt and if ever I want to discuss anything that's troubling me - like friends do from time to time - I feel if it's anything that relates to him that I can't talk to her as she will chalk it up as ammunition with which to hate him for the sake of it. She won't come and visit me because of it and it's making me really sad. What's even more frustrating is that she uses drugs herself just different ones - so even though she knows how many scare stories and misinformation is out there - she won't apply the same logic to someone elses situation.
I have really bad days sometimes as I am looking for work after many years of being unwell with OCD and anxiety - sometimes I just want to talk to her, a few times I've taken stuff myself and she's completely freaked, way more than my mum or any of my other family or friends, the only person I feel like I can talk to is my mum, but she's getting on now and she does worry about me so I really don't want to go to her too often, she's been an amazing support getting me through years of head problems and she really deserves a break from all that stuff, so I end up talking to no one - personally the only objection I have with drugs are the various dangers brought about by illegality - as an adult child of an alcoholic, I know which drug users I'd rather be in a room with and alcohol is the last on the list!
I really want my friend to get to know my boyfriend, she's never even had a conversation with him, she's been on the same table at a mutual friends wedding, that's the most time she's spent talking to him - and that was hardly at all. I feel if she got to know him, she would like spending time with him and feel a lot less worried about me. pphhhhh just need to let off steam I hate that the law forces this clandestine situation where people can't talk openly about things and sometimes I feel so stressed but have no one to talk to, boyfriend is great for talking but sometimes I need my girlfriends :P Don't know what to do to reconcile the situation - will this still be an issue when we've got blue rinses?? :(