Woke up panicking again...I can't take much more :(

[rhpanic]

Woke up again at 5am feeling like a brick had hit me. My heart is racing and I can't stop crying. I feel like I can't go on feeling like this. I am on medication but its not getting any better. I just feel so alone and I can't cope. I don't know what to do.
I feel such a burden to my family and fiancé, I can't get a job or even be in my own house alone.

[aggiecuttler]

hi i know how you are feeling particulary being alone, you say you are on meds if this is new they may not have kicked in yet if you have been on them for a while go back to the dr and tell them that they are not doing anything to help, you are not a burden and with the right pills you will be able to overcome the situations that you fear blessings

[SarahH]

Hi,

It's horrible waking up like that I know. I agree with aggiecuttler.
You could also try getting up when this happens (no matter what time) an distract yourself from the thoughts. Try TV there is always something on that I can watch....like some cheesy american comedy (no offence to our US members....I flippin love american comedies far better than ours!!)

Sarah

[arfasc]

I woke up at 4 with anxiety.
Been in bed with some music in the ipod, tried to read, panicked vomiting, then started chatting on pc.
I am on medication as well.
I will have a visit in 15 days to understand better if I need to change medications.
I understand you!

[Catherine84]

Hi there,

I really can sympathise with you, especially with the being alone. I find if there isn't someone around to talk to and distract me from my anxiety, it will spiral out of control. I have tried a couple of antidepressants in the past, but they made me feel 10 times worse. I would definitely talk to your GP about trying something different. I need to do the same really, but past experiences have made me more anxious about trying yet more pills. I am due back at work tomorrow after 5 and a half months for a phased return, and this will mean having to spend my days off at home alone (I was back with my family whilst signed off). They won't let me work consecutive days so that I can have two off together and go back, so I have no choice but to stay at my house alone. I am terrified at the thought of it :-(.

You should never feel a burden; you are genuinely ill - and need lots of love and support. You are also certainly not alone. There are definitely lots of people out there who are going through something similar, and I have spoken to some lovely people on these forums when I have been having my 'dark days'. I agree with Sarah, if you possibly can distract yourself (easier said than done when you have acute panic!), with practice, it will get easier. Do you have any hobbies that you love doing?

I really wish you all the best, and I'm here if you need to chat,
Catherine x

[rhpanic]

Thank you for all your kind words. Today has probably been one of the lowest days I've had so far. I have cried most of the day up until now. I am going to persevere with taking the 40mg fluoxetine as it was my second day today on this higher dose. My mum has been helping me with trying to eat and I am also having a visit from my fiancé tonight which is something I can try and focus on.
I still feel so scared of life and can't bear the thought of being alone. I feel alone even with people around me. I just want to be back to my normal self again.
I'm dreading tomorrow morning and another panic/anxiety attack. I have been trying to watch a funny film before going to sleep so that I take my mind off it but it seems to get worse every day. I'm so frightened that I am going to lose everything because of all of this.

[moonspirit]

Hi Cathrine
Im going through exactly the same too i just feel i dont know how to cope either but just knowing we are not alone is a tiny little bit of comfort .... im at the stage where its just the fear of the fear i dont even know why im feeling like this anymore im off to docs today xx

[rhpanic]

Have been panicking and crying again since 7am. I just don't know when this feeling will go. I feel so guilty that I'm not getting better and scared my fiancé and his family and my mum will think that I'm taking too long to get better. I keep thinking it would be easier not to be alive. I feel like I don't want to be me anymore. I'm so scared of being on my own.

[Kim51]

Have been panicking and crying again since 7am. I just don't know when this feeling will go. I feel so guilty that I'm not getting better and scared my fiancé and his family and my mum will think that I'm taking too long to get better. I keep thinking it would be easier not to be alive. I feel like I don't want to be me anymore. I'm so scared of being on my own.

Hi try not to feel guilty, I know how you feel as I have exactly the same thing, walking up to anxiety/panic everyday and wish that it didn't happen but we have to ride this through and one day it won't be there. I too went through in June thinking it would be easier not to be here and thank goodness because of my three wonderful children I am still here, I have no magic answer apart from try and hang on in there and try to be strong you are not alone there are lots of wonderful people on here to support you at the worse times its not the same as physically having someone there but I find it a big comfort.
Take care
Kim xxx :hugs:

[Annie0904]

rhpanic a year ago today it could have been me writing your posts and I did write some very similar. I just didn't want to live feeling like that all the time. One year on and I am in a much better place and happy to be alive :) Accept your anxiety and like any other illness give yourself time to heal. It is early days on your increased dose of medication. Give it time to kick in.
When you wake on a morning, no matter how bad you feel, the best thing to do is get up, get yourself a cup of tea (chamomile tea is best) and a light breakfast. Shower and get dressed. The longer you stay in bed the worse you will feel. :hugs::hugs: