One year on

[Annie0904]

I started posting on NMP a year ago and those of you who have been following my threads will know how bad I was then, constant high anxiety, shaking, nauseous, heart racing, unable to eat or sleep, constant crying. I was unable to leave my house or some days unable to leave my bedroom. My doctor had to do home visits.
I have been on medication since then. This time last year I was taking 125 mg dosulipin and 15mg chlordiazipoxide. I also had diazepam to help me get some relief to be able to sleep.
Since then I have had intense Psychotherapy and have also received help from Robin Hall's CBT4panic.
Support from my lovely NMP friends has also been a huge help to me.
One year on...I am taking 25 mg Dosulipin. I have been on holiday to Croatia. Earlier this week I went away for a couple of days with 2 friends (first time away without my husband in 14 years!).
I left my job in February due to my anxiety and have no regrets about this. I was working in a secondary school and have lots of qualifications but was not happy in my work place any more. I am now doing a cleaning job (cleaning a friends home) and selling door to door cosmetics and loving it. I can do it at my own pace and it is giving me good exercise and fresh air.
I have my confidence back and feel so happy with my life. This time last year I was wishing I didn't have to live any more but now I am happy to be alive :)
I still get twinges of anxiety but try to focus on the positives and know that these little symptoms will pass. I have learned to feel the fear and do it anyway. I even stroked a horses head yesterday (I have a huge phobia of horses!).
I know the anxiety could return one day if a trigger comes along but the important think is that I have overcome it and can do it again. I really hope that my story here will give others hope that they can overcome these awful symptoms and feel happy again. When I first started counselling my therapist asked what I hoped to achieve from the counselling and my reply was to be confident and happy.
I have had some really traumatic events in the past. We can't change the past but we can learn from these experiences and move on from them to help us build a better future. At the moment I feel like I have what I told my counsellor I hoped to achieve. I wish everyone else here success in their recovery. You CAN do it..you just have to believe you can and look at the positives no matter how small they may seem.

[frosty2901]

good to here how much you have managed to change our life
frosty xx:)

[PanchoGoz]

Love you Annie, very proud of you, through it all you have been such a kind and selfless soul and I hope the world smiles back at you when times are tough xxx

[Tessar]

You are a LEGEND, Annie. I remember how you were when I first registered last October. In all honesty, it is hard to believe that the person I read about then, is the same person writing your post day.

From what i have read on your posts over time, You have got to where you are now by shear hard work. Challenging your fears. Enduring situations that made you feel really scared and uncomfortable. Also overcoming overwhelming anxiety along the way too.

If anyone reads Annie's post and is struck by her strength of character, then take in all the hard work she has put in. Recognise how you really can help yourself and how tolerating situations you feel are impossible can be done. To get better you do need to face your fears. To put yourself in uncomfortable situations like Annie has done. But also see how much better life is now for Annie. That could be you too...

Brilliant post Annie. Amazing achievement. Yes, you might find yourself feeling anxious at times in the future but you can take such comfort from the many, many things you have achieved in the last year and it is that which will give you the strength to overcome any difficulties you have in the future.

You are also such a good friend. x

[Annie0904]

good to here how much you have managed to change our life
frosty xx:)

Thank you frosty :)

---------- Post added at 22:20 ---------- Previous post was at 22:20 ----------


Love you Annie, very proud of you, through it all you have been such a kind and selfless soul and I hope the world smiles back at you when times are tough xxx

Thank you for your kind words Pancho :)

---------- Post added at 22:22 ---------- Previous post was at 22:20 ----------

Tessar, thank you so much for those words and I have to say that you are one of the people who have inspired me by your determination to overcome your anxieties and you too have made so many great achievements this year :D

[JoJoxxxxxx]

So pleased to read this Annie xxxx
:yesyes:

[nicola1980]

Fantastic to read Annie well done :D x x

[Annie0904]

Thank you JoJo and Nicola :) xx

[gabrielle37]

an inspirational read annie with a lot of Hope xxx thank you and pleased for you xx

Lesley.

[bernie1977]

So pleased for you Annie. You're such a kind and caring lady so you deserve the best in life. It certainly gives the rest of us hope reading that. Well done for finding the strength within yourself to fight it xx :hugs::hugs:

[Annie0904]

Thank you Lesley and Bernie :hugs: x

[Tessar]

Tessar, thank you so much for those words and I have to say that you are one of the people who have inspired me by your determination to overcome your anxieties and you too have made so many great achievements this year :D

this sums up NMP for me...... (and thank you annie) I must admit, i coped better with flying once I knew you had looked out of the window & taken pics; that was really brave of you. I thought if you can be brave like that, then so can I! And for that matter so can anyone!

[Annie0904]

so true Tessar...anything is possible for all off us if we have enough determination (even though I chickened out going on the big wheel in Liverpool at the weekend!)

[almamatters]

So pleased to read your story and how much progress you have made Annie, I also remember last October and reading your posts and think you have done amazingly well to be at this much point where you can do thinks like go on holiday and work and live your life. You have given great advice to people on this site and your story is inspirational to fellow anxiety sufferers . :hugs: x

[ElizabethJane]

Well done Annie. Has your foot completely healed as well? EJ

[Annie0904]

Thank you Alma and EJ. I still get a lot of pain in my foot but I have stopped worrying about it and just accept it. I can walk again even though it hurts sometimes, but I am not letting it stop me :)

[NE21 worrier]

This is absolutely brilliant stuff, Annie :)

I'm so happy for you, and also so proud of you as I feel as if I have been somewhat part of your difficult journey, having read your posts for quite a while.

I also feel as if I'm really generally getting somewhere - I have a pretty good understanding of where I am at, though I feel there is a little work to be done yet in my NHS CBT sessions.

Thanks,
Peter

[Tish]

Well done Annie! :yesyes:

[Annie0904]

Thank you Peter and I am pleased you are on your way to recovery too. Again this is because you have been going out there and doing things even when you have felt so anxious about it. Well done to you Peter.

---------- Post added at 08:26 ---------- Previous post was at 08:25 ----------

Thank you Tish :)

[Magic]

Good News .:hugs::hugs:Well done Annie

[Annie0904]

Thank you Magic :hugs:

[Bonnibelle]

Lovely post. Very inspiring. It's so nice to hear you feeling so positive xx

[Annie0904]

Thank you Pearl xx