Can't sleep - panic when at home

[b1001]

I've lived alone for about a year now, since my girlfriend moved out. I work from home a lot and see friends/family members weekly but generally I am on my own a fair bit. I did meet someone new 2 months ago and that helped a lot with the feeling of lonliness, I used to rely on her for company and it helped whilst she was there but we had an argument on holiday and broke up, possibly. My main worry the past 3 months was that I was starting to get anxious in any social situation, ranging from my rare visits to work, popping to meet friends or even going into a shop, I would be on the edge of a panic attack occasionally during these situations. Originally I thought this was my health but once I realised it was anxiety it came on in a big wave and really brought me down. In addition to the anxiety I would panic about being alone, wondering what I would do with my time and feeling like I was in some form of prison. This affected my sleep and appetite. The doctor prescribed Proranolol a week ago to ease my blood pressure and feelings of panic - they worked almost instantly and I have thrown myself into every social situation possible, from dinner with friends, to meetings at work as well as bumping into people and chatting to them - the anxiety has been held at bay and I'm gradually regaining my confidence to the point where I just face these situations without even thinking about it. I am eating again and I feel more positive but these waves of depression/panic about being alone seem to wash over me, I also wake up in the night worried about it.

I now go into work 5 days a week and chat to people most of the day, I see friends two nights a week and family two nights a week - the trouble is I am alone 3 nights a week and during the day at weekends. This occupies my mind, I feel so lonely, I have sleepless nights and I fidget in front of the tv on an evening. I used to love time alone and would always find something to entertain me or do and never gave this a thought. Now I feel like crying at the thought of being alone so much. I feel trapped and isolated. I find it difficult to tell anyone about this, they are already spending time with me each week, more than they used to, how do I ask for more.

I have brought forward my doctors appointment to tomorrow morning, is there anything he could give me to help? I know that these thoughts shouldn't bother me, I may not be out one night but I'll be out the following night - I can't even have a few beers to relax (due to the Propranolol). The main issue seems to be not being able to relax and just enjoy the time on my own. Being on my own is constantly in the back of my mind, when I get home to an empty house I feel it taking over.

Any suggestions on medication or other thoughts to assist please?

[arfasc]

Oh well,
I am suffering a bit as well about that.
I moved to a new country and I suffer of relapses of anxiety sometimes.
Usually was for Health anxiety, but sometimes triggered by something else.
When I have these crisis I cannot stay alone. I don't want to, I start panicking.
If I am with someone else maybe I am still bad, but I feel better and less scared.

The last crisis has been caused by coming back from holidays and not being with my family.
What can I say.
I am trying to cope with it, not really able.
I am on medication and I will be seeing my gp and a pDoc soon to understand if it's right medication.
I am thinking to move back to my country, but I don't know if it's the right choice and if I will be less lonely.
I will do volunteering but ok it's not enough.
It could be good to share the house with a friend, I don't know if you like to share, but I don't have friends available at the moment.
I understand you!

[b1001]

Update - I am starting to get back to normal, I can feel it :) My social calendar is slowly filling up and I actually look forward to nights in. The weekends alone feel less daunting and I'm starting to date. I've been to into work a lot and have not had any major feelings of panic, just some discomfort, however every day and every social interaction now feels a little easier. I have started to forget about my anxiety and reflect back on the day thinking "that used to make me feel anxious but I did it today and didn't even think about it".

I'm sure it will be a slow and steady process to get back to how I used to be but so far the past week has been really encouraging. I'd recommend anyone try Propranolol to get things under control but the two things I found that have helped have been finding someone to talk to and exposing myself to as much social interaction as possible. Keeping a log has also helped, it's good to look back at the difficult times and document the positive ones.

I'm really hoping I can recover from this. I am on zopiclone which has really helped me sleep but don't take it every day and need to come off it in the next few weeks.

[arfasc]

well done!
I am happy you are feeling better!
:)

[b1001]

I had real issues coming off the Zopliclone, I had four solid nights sleep on it but then my GP said I had to take a break from it and I didn't sleep for 2 nights. My anxiety and depression returned and I felt awful. I'd drift off but would make up within an hour and this would repeat throughout the night.

Now he has put me on 20mg Amitripaline which helps me get to sleep but also keeps me asleep throughout the night. At first I felt light headed and groggy in the mornings but that is slowly going and I feel more refreshed in the mornings and in control. Still some light anxiety but generally a huge improvement - I have a repeat prescription for this so will be continuing to take it with Propranolol and exposing myself to as much social interaction as possible.