New: Anxiety & intrusive thoughts

[MissKatie]

Hello, my name is Katie and i'm 21 years old.
I'm new here and i'm super scared and nervous about posting my fears on here.. I'm afraid of being judged or doing something wrong, ( i'm sorry i'm no good on these form rooms so forgive me if I make mistakes )

I've been having really bad anxiety attacks and I don't have any control over them, I get these intrusive thoughts, things I wouldn't dream of doing, I fear something bad gonna happen, I fear that I might be going insane.. I hate this feeling, I feel evil, I feel hopeless, there are times I just want to die.. And that's really hard for me to admit.. Because at the same time I've always been afraid of death but these thoughts have consumed my life and i'm not enjoying it.. I've become paranoid, more stress and of course just less happy.

I also suffer an medical condition ( and a mild learning disability ) which makes me rather dependent and unable to care for myself so there for I live with my family ( my mum and little brother and sister ) because my mum is my carer, and her herself has noticed my behavior, she tries to tell me 'not to overthink things', 'don't beat myself up ' But I feel like i'm the only one in the world who's having these problems..

Has anyone had these problems with anxiety/panic attacks?

Or am I crazy?

Please help if you guys can, I feel so alone

Katie

[Sparkle1984]

Welcome to the forums! I'm sure you'll find plenty of help and support here - I certainly have. :)

I can relate to your feelings - you're not alone. I recommend discussing how you feel with your doctor. You can print out a copy of your message if you're unsure what to say in the appointment.

[tray78]

You are so not alone here.. I suffer with it also and it is a very uncomfortable and feels like you are going crazy but you definitely are not. My attacks can last off and on for weeks, pacing, waking up anybody I could in the middle of the night so i'm not alone.. it's terrifying and the worst feeling ever. but know there is help for it and you definitely should talk to you doctor about seeking some sort of relief. why suffer? I'm in the same boat as I type.

[MissKatie]

Welcome to the forums! I'm sure you'll find plenty of help and support here - I certainly have. :)

I can relate to your feelings - you're not alone. I recommend discussing how you feel with your doctor. You can print out a copy of your message if you're unsure what to say in the appointment.


Thank you Sparkle, I hope I do find some help
The doctor has put me on some tablets, but to be honest there didn't give me any chance to speak about hope I feel, Think its time i'll try to get my word out and start getting my life back on track.
Thank you again for your message it means a lot

Katie x

[Daisy Sue]

You're definitely not alone.. anxiety makes us look inwards far too much.. if it's not focussing on one thing, than it's something else. Some of us worry about a part of our body, or general health, some worry about germs/infection, and in your case you're worrying about thoughts. All of it is general anxiety, heightened and/or exaggerated reactions to things that most people don't even think twice about.

You're amongst friends here, and I hope you get some real hope & support from the forum - I know I have. :)

[Stormsky]

Hi
The more importance you give a thought , the more you keep getting them..
These are false thoughts and you just need to see them for what they are.
I've had the harming thoughts , of harming loved ones etc... The thoughts effect us so much, because they are the opposite of who we are... I wouldn't harm a fly...
Anxiety,and OCD cause these thoughts..
You won't go crazy, so stop fearing that.

[MissKatie]

You are so not alone here.. I suffer with it also and it is a very uncomfortable and feels like you are going crazy but you definitely are not. My attacks can last off and on for weeks, pacing, waking up anybody I could in the middle of the night so i'm not alone.. it's terrifying and the worst feeling ever. but know there is help for it and you definitely should talk to you doctor about seeking some sort of relief. why suffer? I'm in the same boat as I type.

Its horrible isn't it?.. I've been so distant today because i'm trying to distract my mind to not have any thoughts.. I'm glad i'm not going crazy >,< I seriously thought I was ugh.. I have been to the doctors about my depression and they just stuck me on some tablets, the thing is there didn't even ask me how I'm feeling and what's been bugging me :/.. So I felt I couldn't tell anyone because if the doctor didn't want to know no one does.. But I told my mum yesterday and she found all these form rooms and told me I wasn't going crazy.. Thank you for your comment, it means a lot I'll do my best to get better!

[Sparkle1984]

Thank you Sparkle, I hope I do find some help
The doctor has put me on some tablets, but to be honest there didn't give me any chance to speak about hope I feel, Think its time i'll try to get my word out and start getting my life back on track.
Thank you again for your message it means a lot

Katie x

Hi again, is it citalopram you're on? That's what I'm on. If you need someone to talk to, ask the doctor to refer you for counselling or therapy. Unfortunately doctors aren't trained to do this themselves, so they'll refer you to a specialist.

[MissKatie]

Hi
The more importance you give a thought , the more you keep getting them..
These are false thoughts and you just need to see them for what they are.
I've had the harming thoughts , of harming loved ones etc... The thoughts effect us so much, because they are the opposite of who we are... I wouldn't harm a fly...
Anxiety,and OCD cause these thoughts..
You won't go crazy, so stop fearing that.

I know, I tend to do that a lot, its so frustrating.. I'm trying not to to give it too much importance I am starting to understand that there not real now I just wish it stops.

Thank you Stormsky you made a lot of sense, everything you said is spot on, its because it is totally opposite to who I really am

---------- Post added at 15:20 ---------- Previous post was at 15:16 ----------


You're definitely not alone.. anxiety makes us look inwards far too much.. if it's not focussing on one thing, than it's something else. Some of us worry about a part of our body, or general health, some worry about germs/infection, and in your case you're worrying about thoughts. All of it is general anxiety, heightened and/or exaggerated reactions to things that most people don't even think twice about.

You're amongst friends here, and I hope you get some real hope & support from the forum - I know I have. :)

Ugh I know right? When you try not to worry about a certain thing you end up worrying on not wanting to worry! I do get anxiety about my heath too though, as I have a chronic illness that causes tumors to grow inside of me, and it makes me look a little different. So topping it all of with thoughts has made me worse @_@;

Thank you, i've heard this place is good, i'm glad to know you were able to find help :)

---------- Post added at 15:42 ---------- Previous post was at 15:20 ----------


Hi again, is it citalopram you're on? That's what I'm on. If you need someone to talk to, ask the doctor to refer you for counselling or therapy. Unfortunately doctors aren't trained to do this themselves, so they'll refer you to a specialist.

I'm on Fluxetine now, I used to be on diazepam but they didn't want me on it as it can be addictive so they then put on risperdone but that didn't help. So hopefully these fuxetine tablets work.. One doctor did offer me counselling but he then told me it would be too much of an long wait for me to acually see one, then he called the mental health team to speak to me -_-; so its been a nightmare really
But thankfully I will be seeing a counselor some time soon, my mum spoke to a nurse that handles my heath problems and shes sorting things out.. And hopefully with that I can finally start to feel better !