View Full Version : Christmas - spend it at my house!
I'm a recovered Agoraphobic and know what phobia is like. I lost 8 years to this illnes and remember all the times i was alone. Since recovering i've offered on other sites to have people to stay to aid their recovery and generally perk them up. One social phobic sufferer came to stay 3 or 4 times and made huge improvements.
This offer is open to anyone reading this, male or female of any age. Please be aware that i am married with 5 children living at home; 13, 12, 10, 4 and 22 months. You will of course have you own room and privacy whenever you want/ need it. I will also, if you wish, collect you and drop you home.
Christmas is a time of love and happiness. Come and share in my family's happiness. If you would like to stay before then also let me know. Love to all readers/ members, post, e mail or p message me. Paul.
Love to all members
Sue K with 5
18-10-06, 15:10
Omg what a wonderful thing to offer. I am so impressed. I really think that is the most amazing gesture and I am sure someone will take you up on that.
Thank you for showing me that the world still has amazing people in it.
Sue with 5
scknight
Oh Paul how wonderful of you too make this offer. It fills my heart with joy too read your lovely gesture.
I am sure you are going to make someones Christmas very special this year.
Hugs to you
Mel xxx
OH paul ,why ar,nt there more people in the world like you. [Wow!]
What an amazingly kind offer Paul!! I can't imagine you will ever be a lonely person with an attitude like that.
Piglet x
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
honeybee3939
18-10-06, 19:40
Wow Paul !!
How lovely and kind of you !
If everyone was as kind and thoughtful as you, im sure the world would be a much better place !
You are sure going to make someones christmas special !:D
Love
Andrea
xxxx
nomorepanic
18-10-06, 19:50
What a lovely gesture and thanks.
I am sure if someone wants to come and see you they would be more than welcome.
People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel
Nicola
hi paul
what a wonderful person you are.what a kind selfless thing to do. your post made my day knowing there are such lovely people out there.
God bless you
Traceyxxx
yorkylover
18-10-06, 23:40
you are a very kind person Paul[^]your family are very lucky to have you.
Take care:D:D:D
Ellen XX
eeyorelover
19-10-06, 00:02
HOW SWEET IS THAT!!!!! :)
I believe in karma and you,hun, with your thoughtful and giving spirit are sure to be truely blessed!!!
xxx
Sandy
Thank you for all your kind comments. But please if you know of anyone who might actually be interested let them know asap. I'd like as many people to know so that someone will feel able to contact me. Please anyone considering this offer, i will keep it strictly between the 2 of us, and just ask for the topic to then be closed. Love to all readers, Paul.
Love to all members
Anyone interested?
Love to all members
hi paul
when i first read this i thought what a lovely gesture - but im not so sure now after reading some of you other threads - remember people with anxiety can feel very alone and vulnerable and im not so sure this wouldnt give people fresh hope of spending xmas in a loving family environment.
I will quote what you wrote in answer to another foum question:
"My wife really is my biggest stress these days. The sweet girl that i met when i was 22 and she 16 has turned into a monster, getting more like her mother each day. Nothing is good enough - our house, our 2 brand new cars, money to burn. Any advice anyone?
Love to all members "
Do you seriously think anyone would want to spend xmas here!!!!!!
darkangel
........life is for living not just for surviving
Paul, in your post 'I'm NOT a Jehovah's witness' you said you are not a christian, but obviously celebrate Christmas as being a time for love and happiness. As a Christian, this is what Christmas means to me too! I'm confused!
I have sent you a private message stating my position in full, as posting will cause more trouble. In brief i said, i am not a member of any christian organisation, i am a christian.
Love to all members
Wannabeloved85
27-10-06, 17:57
Although its a lovely gesture, I just want to warn people about internet and safety. now im not saying paul is a monster or anything, nor am i saying he's the kindest man on earth! i can sy neither, simply because this is the internet and i dont know him. Please be careful guys x
To Paul,
No offence intended, but to be safe and sure, i just dont want any members safety to be in jepordy. Such offers are kind and maybe once in the past, would be classed as a true greatness act of kindness, but we all know in this day and age that all random acts of kindness isnt really appreciated as there is too much hate and war going on in the word. I appreciate your offer, But unfortunetly, only such acts from a proffesional authorative person {such as a professional carer or actress these days!}can be truly appreciated and respected for such gestures. I hope you understand what i mean x x x
i am 100% behind what wannabeloved has written - we have no idea who this person is and after reading his other posts i would definetly say DO NOT ACCEPT this invitation - i dont care what his religious tendencies are but please think before agreeing - especailly since he states its to be kept between the two of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Warning sign folks.
Paul, I am sure you will understanding completely where i am coming from.
Darkangel
........life is for living not just for surviving
eeyorelover
27-10-06, 19:35
Ok I agree that accepting an offer like this one - in this day and age - probably isn't the wisest decision without really knowing what you're getting yourself in to but I still think that the gesture came from a good place.
Let's not make this into something that it isn't please.
We don't want any hurt feelings here.
I'm not really sure what the religious aspect of this was all about. Why that would even matter is beyond me!!!
And as far as Paul's posting about his wife - I'm not going to critisize that comment because I have been equally frustrated by my better half a time or two and said something that in hindsight I probably shouldn't have.
I don't know Paul at all. All I am saying is that he threw a kind and generous gesture out and (seems to me) is getting it thrown back in his face and that just isn't right in my opinion.
xxx
Sandy
ok sandy
maybe im jumping to conclusions due to ky own personal reasons at this time and I am sure that Paul was only meaning the best for everyone.
Im sorry if i offended anyone.
Darkangel
........life is for living not just for surviving
I have to agree with Darkangel and Wannabeloved on this one, and another thing if you already have 5 kids and a stressed unhappy wife, I don't actually think it would be a good idea to put anymore stress on a partner by having a stranger come to stay.
Trac
'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'
nomorepanic
27-10-06, 20:40
Darkangel
You haven't offended anyone - well certainly not me. You are just making people think about things and warning them of the possible dangers.
I am sure Paul meant well with his offer but personally I would not feel happy going to stay with someone I didn't really know.
People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel
Nicola
I was interested to note what Becci said about it would be OK with a professional carer or an actress
Maybe I'd be 'safe' with Felicity Kendall? :D
Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers
nomorepanic
27-10-06, 21:19
Ray - have you dumped Thora now then?
People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel
Nicola
Sorry Ray, Felicity Kendall is at my gaff over Christmas!
------------------------------------------------
Is There Really Gravity, Or Does Earth Just Suck?
strawberrie
27-10-06, 21:24
yeah Ray, but would Felicity Kendall be 'safe' with you lol????;) (don't worry, we won't tell her about Thora, but she'd better be on her guard if you bring a camera along!) :D
mag
Yes, Nic, I have as she wasn't giving much of a response lol
Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers
I'd be very safe with Jake Moon from Eastenders! :D:D:D:D
He'd be able to help me with christmas stockings anytime!!
Piglet xx
Or how about a weekend at Neverland with Michael Jackson?
Kay
Wannabeloved85
28-10-06, 13:55
lol ok no idea who felicity kendall is, but what i meant is that with acter's etc theyre under the spotlight so much that when they do something true act of kindness {for publicity ofcourse} Theyre under so much preasure from the public eye, they wouldnt really attempt something crazy!
Those in the spotlight are just as prone to such failings too.
Think Michael Jackson
Think Gary Glitter
We're all human
Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers
Wannabeloved85
28-10-06, 15:31
point taken
I admit i hadn't given the safety issue any thought, this time, from the person comings point of view. I had however thought of my children especially and my wife. It's funny, we pass so many old people at bus stops, and we're always saying on rainy days mostly, we wish we could give them a lift - but you can't these days you hear so many bad stories. I bet a lot of you feel the same remembering the days before you could drive and elderly friends/ relatives who have had to stop driving.
The one place i can help people is my mother's church. Picking up shopping, giving lifts, hospital visiting etc.
Actually i'm glad this has been mentioned. I'm losing hope of this offer becoming a reality. It did have other reasons from my side. I wanted to show my children that christmas is not about greed, but love unconditional. We have had other people to stay, who have had differculties. Phobia, stress and cutting. Debts, stress on the edge. It is a risk to have these people in the family home.
If any of you have a good idea on how to make this situation safer for both the person who accepts the offer and my family - i'd be grateful. But i'd like to end by saying if noone opens their heart and uses their resources to help those in need, the world will be a sadder place for it. Love Paul.
Love to all members
paul
while your offer was a nice gesture it may not be practical
you must have a big house my cousin has a 5 bedroom house just one son and lots of money and makes scrooge look generous she wont even help extended family never mind strangers.
you say you want to show your children that christmas isnt about greed which is good. the fact you have had people with problems stay shows them how to care for others not just themselves parents lead by example as you are.
at christmas a lot of elderly people in homes have no family to visit them maybe you could invite one of them or go visit them elderly living on their own are terrified to go out and end up agoraphobic.
how about home start they always need help especially at christmas they help families with problems.
just a couple of suggestions for you.
netty
the dreams of the future are better than the history of the past
Hi Net, a friend and i used to help out in an old people's home. Washing up, making tea/ coffee. The best bit was after giving them tea, sitting and listerning to their life stories. I'd recommend this to anyone. It was obviously unpaid, but i think i got more out of the experience than any paid work i've ever done. Now i get a similar experience at church coffee mornings and my mothers friends who are all in their 80's or 90's.
A good idea, i'll look around locally. But i don't think you can beat having someone in the bossom of your family. An equal with no - i've only got an hour till i have to go. They know they have you 24 hours a day for 2 or 3 days. Gradually they emerge from their shell and tell you private things, fears or similar. It took a couple of days for one person to tell me she cut herself regularly and show me. I accepted her as she was and she grew more confident, got a job and even more house to a new area got a partner.
This offer is genuine, and i'll bend over backwards for anyone who genuinely wants help or just a christmas not alone. I'll just visit them? Send a card or present? A lot of us have more than we need, and are so lucky to have loved ones to share all years, what is afew hours or days or a small token of love for a few pounds. Love to all readers, Paul.
Love to all members
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.