A bit about me ... Can anyone relate to any of this??

[Missy123]

Hello all.
As I'm new to the group I thought I should let you know a bit about me and the things that have led me to be the way I am so bare with me! Lol ...
I am a 29 year old female. When I was 20 I went to my local out of hours doctors as I was feeling under the weather. Expecting to be sent away with instructions to rest and to take paracetamol, I was thrown into a state of shock when I was rushed to the local hospital and hooked up to all kinds of heart monitors in the resuscitation room. It turned out that my heart was racing in the 180's and they didn't know why. They injected a drug several times to stop and start my heart but when that didn't work I was given beta blockers and put on the cardiac ward. It turned out that I had a bad chest infection and that my heart rhythm was normal but I had a fast heart rate. My resting rate is about 120 these days.
As a result of all of this I basically had a break down. Panic attacks, convinced I'm dying etc. I still take my heart rate about 30 times a day :-/
I just feel so alone! I'm bored of panic, I'm bored of being convinced I'm going to die. Can anyone relate??!! Sorry for the actual essay! Lol

[spacebunnyx]

Hi Missy, that must have been very scary and its not surprising you have HA and panic. Are you being seen by a cardiac consultant? Have they advised you what you can and can't do? If you are able I would really recommend exercise (if you don't already), it doesn't need to be vigorous just a gentle walk or something and then build it up. I find it really helps build up confidence in my body and shows me what my body is capable of - and it doesn't finish me off! :-)

I have not had what you had, but I had an random seizure a couple of years ago.. completely out of the blue. It was in a cinema and I had it as a reaction to some straightforward anti-sickness medication I was on. My BP went through the roof and I was rushed to resus, knocked out, wired up and pumped full of medication. I didn't have panic before that day (just HA)... but the immediate/urgent nature of what happened began a spiral of horrendous panic where I would think that I would drop down dead suddenly because of anaphalayxsis or a haemorrhage or similar. I had CBT which has really helped deal with the panic... and I haven't had a panic attack since (although I still have HA).

xxx

[Missy123]

Thank you for your reply space bunny! I really appreciate you taking the time to reply to me!! Seems that our panic stemmed from the 'un known' and being in a situation where we had absolutely no control :-/ I'm so glad that u are feeling well again! It gives me hope that one day I will get sorted and stop being convinced I'm going to die!! Ahhhhh!!
Take care, thanks again xxx

[Female healthanxiety]

Hi Missy

Welcome to the site.

I am 30 and have too been plagued by heart worries.

I too remember my first anxiety attack; and being on heart machines, EGCS ETC. it has stayed with me.....

10 years on I have always been convinced I'm going to have a head attack or stroke :-(

Have you had any form of CBT COUNSELLING?

Love K

[markracheal412]

Hi missy I know what you are feeling like I get the same thing I must have had 50 ecg and they keep telling me there is nothing wrong ( but we are still here after all this time ) so they must be right even if our brains says otherwise lol keep strong missy keep fighting x

[Missy123]

Aww thank you for your lovely supportive replies :-) its nice to know that I'm not the only one going through this. Unfortunately there's no nhs funding available for any cbt where I am and all they ever want to do is give me more anti depressants which I'm not keen on! I hate the fact I've been on then for almost 10 years!! Xx