My 4 year old - operation today...

[Col]

.....and I couldn't even go with him my anxiety is through the roof! He's such a live wire, everyone who meets him adore him because he's so nice and polite and inquisitive. I know we all love our children so much but, I'm pregnant and I've sobbed for the best part of the week about him being put to sleep and not waking up!

I feel so bad for not going to support him and very selfish as some kids have surgery all the time BUT I've been an absolute depersonalised nervous wreck since the appointment came through a few weeks ago. I feel I let my kids down every time they have a medical proceedure, I just can't face it , feel crazy with worry I won't see them again.

I'm gonna go and pick him up as soon as my hubby says he's allowed home.

Anyone else been like this???

Gosh why is life sooooooo hard:emot-crying::emot-crying:

[kittikat]

Aww big hugs Col :hugs: I am sure your little one will be just fine. Don't feel guilty, we can't always control what our anxiety does to us. Your little man will be so pleased to see you when you pick him up...that will be your reward for the day.

:bighug1: Thinking of you and your little man :flowers: Kitti xxx

[Annie0904]

Yes...My daughter was in hospital with pneumonia last year and I couldn't even leave my bedroom and felt so guilty for not going to see her. A few years ago my son had a major cardio/thoracic operation and I went with him but had to take Diazepam and all the time he was in theatre I just trembled and cried. The nurses must have got tired of me asking to check that everything was going okay.
Your son will be safely back home with you before you know it Col and you will feel so much more relieved. :hugs::hugs:

[Col]

Thanks kitti kat, I think I'll burst into tears when I go and get him! I just can't help it - gosh its awful. Thankyou XXX

Annie - that's really made me feel a bit better, not in a bad way knowing you couldn't be there for your daughter but, I felt like I'd massively let him and my hubby down this morning. I thought that's what mums are there for times of crisis but, like you said when you went with your son, thats what my worry was - me getting on everyones nerves or passing out making a complete scene ,when it's not about me it's about my little boy! I'm really unselfish but kept thinking about all those kids who have to have recurring operations but even that thought didn't calm me down. I've been up and down walking round the house , slumped against the bathroom door frame - in a right state.

Ahhh but Annie amazing you at least went with your son and that sounds like a huge operation.

Thanks for your support I just felt so so deeply sad and disappointed with myself.

XXXXX

[ElizabethJane]

Col what you are feeling is normal anxiety that any Mother would feel if their child was undergoing an operation with a general anaesthetic. My son had to have squint op at Moorfields when he was quite little. I went with him and he seemed to be ages in theatre. All was well in the end and he doesn't have to wear glasses and is 6ft 4ins. It is your protective spirit that is coming out and you will be able to care for him when he is discharged later? EJ

[Magic]

Sending you hugs col:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Annie0904]

My nephews wife suffers with anxiety and their little girl has been in hospital a few times and has had to stay a few nights. My nephew's wife was too anxious to go with her so my nephew went. My great niece didn't mind at all that her Mum wasn't with her she just enjoyed having the extra quality time with Dad.
You can look forward to extra cuddles with your son tonight and maybe an extra little treat for him :) You are a wonderful, loving, caring Mum Col :)

---------- Post added at 15:02 ---------- Previous post was at 14:59 ----------

My son was 18 when he had his op and while I was such a nervous wreck when they wheeled him out on the trolley, he just sat up and said "Well I am off to the butchers, see you when I get back!"
Col I posted when my daughter was in hospital...I think my title was something along the lines of me being a useless mum but everyone here reassured me that I am not a useless Mum :)

[AuntieMoosie]

Aww Col don't beat yourself up about it hun :)

My partner was in hospital for quite a while a few years back and I was completely housebound with agoraphobia at that time. He wasn't even in our local hospital, he was in another town and there was no way I could go and see him.

He was fine with it and he understood and we spoke by phone several times a day :)

Remember hun, you have an illness that is not your fault, you have no need to feel sad or disappointed with yourself, you are a wonderful and loving and caring Mum who is battling to deal with her own illness too.

Sometimes Col it's better for us Mums not to be there, I remember when my Son had to have a little op when he was a child and I found the whole thing traumatic to say the least, in fact I think we came home that evening with me being in more of a state than he was!!! lol

Your little boy knows that you love him and that is all that matters hun, so you just hold your head up high and be proud :hugs:

[Col]

Thanks sooo sooo very much for all your support , everyone.

It's triggerd my anxiety as ever since I've been a lot more sensitive to things and feel a bit on edge. But my little bubs is fine, I picked him up & he was dithery but right as rain.

He survived - I know that sounds dramatic but I couldn't help thinking the worse, it was an horrific day when I threaded. No matter what I did to keep calm and think about all the other poorly children - NOTHING worked. My anxiety and stress was on overdrive.


But he's fine - thank God.

Thanks sooo much everyone, I just felt like a major let down!!!:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Annie0904]

Aww Col, you were not a let down at all. It is quite normal to feel like that as a worried Mum. I am pleased your son is recovering well and hope that you will recover from it soon also :)

[Col]

Thanks Annie, I'm just so relieved it's over & he seems ok & doesn't have to go back xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[AuntieMoosie]

Col you are not a major let down at all hun, like I've said, you have an illness and it's not your fault.

Like I have said, my Son had to have a tiny weeny op when he was little and let me tell you, I was in a worse state than he was!!!!! I think it's always much harder on poor Mum than it is them at times.

I'm so happy that your little bubs is fine and back home with you now :) :hugs: