View Full Version : Still crying and feeling extremely low and anxious, can't work :(
It has nearly been 4 weeks for me on fluoxetine (3 weeks on 20mg and 1 week on 40mg) I have been feeling worse than ever. I am 25 years old and have had to come and stay with my mum over 50 miles away from my home as I cannot be alone. I am sleeping on her sofa and feel so guilty and ashamed. I can't even contemplate going back home anytime soon as I can't cope. My fiancé is working away in the week so not at home all week. I was made redundant from my job in June this year and since then everything has become overwhelming. I just want this feeling to go away but it seems to be getting worse. I feel like I'm a failure and I'm ruining everyone's lives. I wake up everyday thinking I can't go on. I have severe suicidal thoughts and had to call the Samaritans yesterday as I was scared of doing something stupid. Is there any way out of this darkness? My mum and fiancé are very supportive but I feel like I'm burdening them with all of this.
Edward_1980
09-08-13, 12:55
I know exactly how you feel. I am on week five at 20mg and there is talk of upping me to 40mg soon. I feel as nervous wreck on Prozac. I believe that it is doing me worse than good. I feel nervous, panicky, anxious, paranoid and depressed. I also feel like a failure and that I am ruining my partner's life.
Hopefully there will be some results for us soon. I am going back to the doctors next week for a review. I have read a lot that fluoxetine can take a long time to kick in and a lot of people have said the way we are feeling is down to the drugs taking their effect. It is just the most unbearable feeling and I know how hard it is to keep hanging on.
Edward_1980
09-08-13, 13:50
I also think that it takes a long time to kick in, but it could be beneficial for us in the end. Sometimes I think of quitting it and other times I think "OK, give it time to kick in". I just don't want to be feeling like this is all I'm saying :)
It's hard to know whether its the Prozac making everything feel worse or the depression and anxiety. It's good that we both have support though even if its so hard not to feel guilty burdening other people. Fingers crossed there will be some light at the end of the tunnel.
When my doc upped my dosage from 20 to 40, I experienced severe depression, far worse than when I started the 20. Couldn't move, just wanted to sleep and cry, and thought I was going crazy. I only left my bed to walk my dog. To say that I hated myself is putting it mildly.
I had expected the same symptoms I experienced when I started the 20: migraines, sleepiness, inability to concentrate. So it took me a few days to realize that the new low I was feeling might actually just be a side effect. Reading personal accounts on this site is what helped me get through some of it. I know it's not the most comforting thing to hear... as it feels devastating and very real when you're going through it... but mine *was* a side effect... and one day just went away. Now I'm feeling truly better than I have in years. Try to hang in there, but after 8 weeks or so if you are still feeling awful I would certainly recommend chatting with your doc. Best wishes.
Edward_1980
09-08-13, 21:36
It's hard to know whether its the Prozac making everything feel worse or the depression and anxiety. It's good that we both have support though even if its so hard not to feel guilty burdening other people. Fingers crossed there will be some light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep me posted :)
Hi all, I'm new to this forum, which has been a godsend to me as I now know I am not alone as other members are feeling the same as me on fluoxetine. I'm on day 24 and I've only had 2 mornings without feeling panicky. I know my doctor told me I'd get worse before I'd feel better, but some days I've felt so bad I didn't want to be on this earth anymore. The panic attacks, nausea, insomnia, and restlessness are driving me crazy. Today seems to b a good day as I have no anxious feelings and I'm feeling like I could actually do something today.
Rhpanic, I really hope you start to feel better soon and just remember u are not alone xx
I felt a definite change in myself on day 26 if that helps. That coincided with reading Claire Weekes book and getting quite excited by the thought of trying out willingly accepting all the feelings I may or may not get on my massive trip coming up (Australia via Japan including a 14 hour budget airline experience wahey!).
Rh one of my worst times was between 4 and 5 half weeks, I absolutely hit rock bottom, then I suddenly started to feel better than I had in weeks and then stayed more or less stable and it was such a good feeling, you are so close, you too Edward, just try and get through the next couple of weeks and it will kick in for you, unfortunately it can make some of us feel like this before we start to feel better.
I can't stop thinking and feeling that the world would be a better place without me. I can't think straight or do anything. I just don't want to be alive feeling like this. I've tried but the feeling won't go away. I just feel so alone. I'm not strong enough to do this.
Dear rhpanic, Believe me when I say this, the world would definitely NOT b a better place without you. Please keep going, you will come out the other side of the dreadful side effects and that's what you are experiencing "side effects". I have had all the thoughts you are having but I'm determined to stick with the fluoxetine as I was at rock bottom a few weeks ago and anything has to be better than going back there.
Have you asked your doc for some diazepam/Xanax just to get you through the really rough days?
Just remember the dark thoughts you are having are exactly just- thoughts. They are not real, and it's because your brain chemistry is out of tune, unfortunately this is the way this tablet works.
I have read other posts on this forum and a lot of members have shared that they all hit a rock bottom on fluoxetine before things got better, maybe this is your rock bottom and in a few days you will start to get a good day here and there xx
Georgina
You don't have to do it alone either rhpanic, your mum especially will have all the patience in the world for her baby. Just try and rest, let these horrible thoughts come and go without fighting them, let them flow out your mind just as they flow in. Concentrate on things you are doing, like brushing your teeth etc. We can only live our lives moment to moment, so don't get too hung up wondering how you are going to make it to next week, next year etc. Let the medication balance out, accept the horrible thoughts as temporary and take the support you have and your nerves will begin to rest and recuperate. we have all felt like you are feeling now you are not alone and not going mad x
MastiffMan
11-08-13, 13:45
The world needs people like you rhpanic. This is temporary although it may not seem like it. This will pass. As uncomfortable as it is and as horrific as it may seem, this will pass. You will come out much stronger than you could have ever suspected. Fras is right. You need to let the feelings wash over you like being at the ocean and watching the waves come in and go out. Your thoughts are not fact. This is a process of adjustment in your brain. I was talking to my doctor on the phone one day describing what I was feeling and he said it sounds like the serotonin is in the process of adjustment. I thought he was a little daft to say it was just a physiologic thing when I saw it as being bonkers. He was right. Keep the faith. I am praying for you.
You can get through this, you are not alone and it is the meds working on your brain that are making you feel like this, just take it a minute at a time and then an hour and a day and you will come through, I know it does not feel like it and i know how desperate and upset you feel but it will get better. xxx
Thank you everyone. I'm trying hard to battle through this but it just feels like a losing battle right now. The feelings are so overwhelming and I feel like I don't want to carry on. I have been existing for the last 4 weeks and not living. I feel so guilty for my mum and fiancé to have to put up with this.
You have got through the largest chunk and you will start to win this battle soon just battle on for another week or so and you will stat to have some better times. your mum and fiance will be so proud of you when you come through it. you do feel like you are existing from day to day and not living your live but it will pass and you will get back to normal. xx
BellaBella88
17-08-13, 17:21
Rhpanic, you feel like you are just existing because of the side effects. Remember that this isn't you. It's hard to imagine it, but when you're better, you will enjoy life.
If you have a really close friend, tell them how much support you need. Ask them if you can text or email them to let out some of your emotion and tell them that you need their positivity.
It helps so much when you have other people cheering you on, pointing out when you're improving and reminding you that it's a side effect and you will get better.
Don't feel guilty about being depressed. Everyone understands that it's not within your control. One thing you may bet out of this is closer relationships with your family and friends. Even though they don't understand what depression is like, people are so caring that it makes my eyes water :-)
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