i cut myself this morning

[gem7]

i self harmed this morning got the house to myself so i did it i just couldnt take anymore my sister gone out to the doctors i just feel so low today i havent self harmed since last year this year i.m at my worst this anxiety is hell i.m losing my self feel like i dont know who i am anymore and have days where feel like i.m going crazy anxiety has made my speech a lot worse thats getting me down sometimes i think why do i even bother talking as no words ever hardly come out right now i got low self steam looked in the mirror this morning and i didnt like what i saw & i blame my mum why i gotten worse its hard to explain but the way shes been going on its made me worse i.m just in my room now back in my comfort zone i dont feel up to going out anymore cant handle it why cant i just be normal & just be my old self again life is just not worth living anymore a bus almost hit me the other day when i went to cardiff maybe i should of let it hit me then all this pain i.m going through and what i.m feeling would be over :sad:

[merlin 1232]

Hi, Reading what you have written sounds just like my 14 year old granddaughter who is going through the same thing as you. She said that when she cuts she feels better, but only for a short time. I know this might sound silly but put an elastic band on your wrist and when you feel the urge to cut pull it whilst saying i don't need to cut. This is what my granddaughter does and it helps. If you are having a hard time at home with you mum and you find she is not listening to you, find someone who you can talk to that wont judge you. Talking to the right person can really help. Have you had any councilling in the past? Think before you act, scars take forever to heal and they are a constant reminder of what you have done. Be very careful you don't get and infection and keep the wound clean.

[gem7]

i have done that before with elastic band but it all became to much i couldnt take it anymore it had to be done i dont live with my mum i live with my sister i.m 31 i have tryed talking to someone it didnt help i will be careful that it dont get infection and i will keep wound clean thanks