I feel like I have lost myself

[Cyberchondriac]

I realise that this sounds rather dramatic but I just do not know who I am anymore. Anyone relate to that? All the things I used to love - going for morning runs, going to the cinema, going out with friends, composing music... none of that seems to matter. Most of the time all I want to do is sleep, or drink beer in the evenings because it makes me relaxed. Everything else just seems to take so much effort.

I guess it started with anxiety coming back in a bad way. I started having panic attacks while driving. I thought it was stupid but tried to ignore it. The attacks didn't stop, in fact they got worse.

Feeling quite alone to be honest. I want to be the happier, relaxed me that I know I used to be. But every time I try to change it all seems to backfire and I end up at square 1. Wish I could tell people how i'm feeling but feel so utterly ashamed of myself.

I don't quite know the point of my post. I'm sorry. I guess it'd be good to hear from anyone who is trying to reconnect with things they used to love doing, or trying to re-connect with their old self.

Hope you're doing well. Sorry for the doom and gloom.

Stephen

[Sparkle1984]

Hi Stephen. Your symptoms sound a lot like depression. I've also felt this way when my anxiety has been very bad. I lose my motivation to do the things I usually enjoy, and everything seems to take more effort.

Are you receiving ongoing treatment for this? If not I suggest you book an appointment with your doctor to tell them how you feel. I'm on citalopram and it helps a lot - I've got my motivation back and I feel much happier on a day to day basis. My anxiety is much reduced also. I've also been reading about mindfulness which is helpful for relaxation. You can also ask the doctor for referral for therapy or counselling. :)

Take care and let us know how you get on.

[tiff]

Hi, this is me too. It then got so bad that I can only do the bare minimum in a day because I had no motivation at all, I work part time and it would take me nearly all day to drag myself to do the job (Im self employed). I went to my GP 9 days ago after realising I have social anxiety and depression and she put me on Citalopram. Like Sparkle, Ive spent most of today reading about meditation and tried one this morning which was amazing. Going to try a sleep meditation tonight as I struggle to get to sleep or I wake up in the night unable to get back to sleep.

Im hoping to do CBT as some point when I feel better.

[stormborn]

I lost the desire to do almost everything. There was a point where I didn't eat when I was hungry so my partner had to cook for me. Gradually I'm becoming interested in new things like getting better, helping other people, wanting to make friends etc and before I never felt that. Don't try and force yourself to like the same things as before, discover new ideas and interests and then the old stuff will either interest you again at some point or it won't. Think of it as being reborn! Start over again. Going for a walk during the evening might eventually spark something off and turn into you wanting to go jogging again.

[Cyberchondriac]

Thank you all for your help.

I'm not undergoing any treatment or therapy - I've always been too ashamed to tell people about it. But I feel like I hit a real low this weekend and I simply can't take living like this anymore, so am going to try to pluck up the courage to make a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.

I guess you have a good point stormborm. Maybe I'm forcing myself to do things when I should take it more gradually - going for a walk as you suggested and gradually working my way up to running again.

Thanks for your help

Stephen

[Sparkle1984]

For many years, I was too scared and embarrassed to tell other people about my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I thought they wouldn't understand. Thankfully, when I was younger I didn't have anxiety all the time - it was a very on and off sort of thing.

Most people I've told have been very understanding, including my family. I finally went to the doctor's last August, as I was feeling so bad. I was nervous about it, but the doctor I saw was very understanding and put me at ease. People tend to be much more understanding about anxiety/depression than they were years ago, and doctors are more aware of it. In fact, it's said that 1 in 3 doctor's appointments nowadays are due to some sort of stress-related illness. My only regret is that I didn't tell anyone sooner.

What I found useful was to make a list of all my symptoms, irrational thoughts and so on, and I took this with me to the doctor's appointment to make sure I didn't forget anything. :)

[xvolatileheart]

This is exactly how I feel right now, like I'm not even the person I used to be. I used to be really fun and bubbly, outgoing, loved life. Now nothing makes me happy. I feel empty and alone, I feel like I can't connect with the real world, I feel lost in my own mind. Just wish this would go away.

[MRS STRESS ED]

yes I guess most of us can relate with you ,I use to have a full life now I stay in never see friends takes me all my time to go work that's hard I wish I to could get my old life back lets hope :hugs:

[Barnabas75]

join the club

[JCRyanDenton]

Im getting the feeling of wanting to fall asleep quite a bit lately. I just want the days to skip by until something awesome happens that will get rid of my depression for a bit. Thats how the whole thing feels for me right now and its horrible.

[Sparkle1984]

Thank you all for your help.

I'm not undergoing any treatment or therapy - I've always been too ashamed to tell people about it. But I feel like I hit a real low this weekend and I simply can't take living like this anymore, so am going to try to pluck up the courage to make a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.

I guess you have a good point stormborm. Maybe I'm forcing myself to do things when I should take it more gradually - going for a walk as you suggested and gradually working my way up to running again.

Thanks for your help

Stephen

Hi, how did you get on?

[Joe1976]

I feel the same just about make it through work then come home and laze about making myself feel worse. I vowed to join the gym cause I carnt carry on like this or it will lead to deep depression x