had enough

[crumble]

For the past few months I can only describe myself as being a bit jekyll and hyde. One minute I'm happy, having a good time, the next I'm depressed and don't want to be near anyone.

It all seems to stem from my inability to have a normal relationship with someone; friends, colleagues, whoever. I just can't do it. I'll make friends, but sooner or later I'll get pissed off by something they've done and I won't want to be 'friends' anymore. I'd rather be alone.

I know this isn't normal, but it's what I do. Self defense, I suppose.

I've been having a particularly hard time of late because of a guy I sit next to at work. I've built up our work 'friendship' into something it clearly isn't. I thought I'd made a good friend, that could maybe be a friend outside of work, but I think I was wrong. It just upsets me so much.

What's killing me right now is that it's my birthday tomorrow and I don't have any friends as such to spend it with. I have family, and without them I'd be lost, so I'm making the most of it with them. On the outside I'm holding it up, deep down I'm falling apart.

Thanks for reading.

[Cyberchondriac]

I understand exactly what you mean. I'm definitely Jekyll and Hyde at the moment, hopping between being motivated to change myself and being completely and utterly overwhelmed by the world.

What kind of things piss you off with these new friends that you meet? Is it usually something they say, or do?

But anyway, I hope you have a fantastic birthday. All the best for the day!

[Magic]

I am definitely Jekyll and Hyde, that's the best description I have heard that describes me. I faced going for a meal which turned out ok Thursday.
I have been just the opposite since. Don't want to move or talk.
So sorry you are clearly very upset crumble
Hope you enjoy your Birthday anyway:hugs: