erika
10-08-13, 21:45
Hi,
This is my first post.
I am due to go to my sister's wedding which is in Spain (im in the uk) in a couple of weeks, however, I suffer from bad anxiety that ive had for years (ive recently seen someone but it hasnt really helped). I also have ocd, low self esteem, a germ/illness phobia and hate being in a group of people, even if its just a few family members.
My sis knows about my problems and said a while ago that I didnt have to go if it was too much but she was obviously being supportive and didnt really 'mean' it. At the time I said of course I would still come but in the last 2 months my anxiety has been getting much worse and now I am taking pills to try and alleviate.
I dont want to let my sister down but normally it takes a load of courage and panic for me to just go to the local shop and I know exposure helps but im only at the very early stages of that and I know that this 7 day wedding 'holiday' is just going to be way too much.
Ive been on shorter, more local trips in the past when I wasnt as bad and they were a nightmare for me, and this is a much larger scale and constantly have to feign a jolly mood.
I dont want everyone to think im just taking the so called easy option if I dont go, or that im being selfish.
So im in much conflict between what I know myself to be too much mentally and my perception of what everyone else will want me to do. ( People trying to convince you that youll be fine once you get there etc, which I know to be rubbish),
My sister visited for 2 weeks in my own house and it made me ill from the stress, so 25 people in a foreign country is going to be fine????????
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and do you think im being too self indulgent and should just suck it up?
This is my first post.
I am due to go to my sister's wedding which is in Spain (im in the uk) in a couple of weeks, however, I suffer from bad anxiety that ive had for years (ive recently seen someone but it hasnt really helped). I also have ocd, low self esteem, a germ/illness phobia and hate being in a group of people, even if its just a few family members.
My sis knows about my problems and said a while ago that I didnt have to go if it was too much but she was obviously being supportive and didnt really 'mean' it. At the time I said of course I would still come but in the last 2 months my anxiety has been getting much worse and now I am taking pills to try and alleviate.
I dont want to let my sister down but normally it takes a load of courage and panic for me to just go to the local shop and I know exposure helps but im only at the very early stages of that and I know that this 7 day wedding 'holiday' is just going to be way too much.
Ive been on shorter, more local trips in the past when I wasnt as bad and they were a nightmare for me, and this is a much larger scale and constantly have to feign a jolly mood.
I dont want everyone to think im just taking the so called easy option if I dont go, or that im being selfish.
So im in much conflict between what I know myself to be too much mentally and my perception of what everyone else will want me to do. ( People trying to convince you that youll be fine once you get there etc, which I know to be rubbish),
My sister visited for 2 weeks in my own house and it made me ill from the stress, so 25 people in a foreign country is going to be fine????????
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and do you think im being too self indulgent and should just suck it up?