chalky500
12-08-13, 23:12
I have suffered from harm ocd for a long time and am finally over it. but now i fear i'm sadistic. I have NEVER gone out of my way to hurt anyone in the real world, physically or emotionally. However, in videogames i often set people on fire for the cringe value of it etc. I also used to have a thing where anyone tied up would arouse me slightly, just at the onset of puberty. Therefore, once a torture scene came on in a game, i had a fleeting thought of arousal and then beat myself up all day over how i could be so evil. I keep looking for evidence i could be a sadist, such as how if i read anything about murders or violence or anything i seem to just be fascinated with it, like a car crash, you shouldnt look but thats why you do. In any case i really would never wish harm on anyone in real life and am kind of freaking out about being an immoral psychopath.:scared15: