Marin
14-08-13, 01:05
Hi there,
In sheer desperation I just typed in "get over HA" in the google search bar and it brought me here. So - hi all!
I am British, but living in the US. Just moved here from Japan actually, where I lived for a loooong time and enjoyed instant access to any type of test or treatment I could possibly wish for, and quite a few I didn't wish for at all :scared15:
A little history - I have had HA for as long as I can remember. It has definitely got worse since having children, because added to the general fear of all things lurgy is now the added fear of dying and leaving them to be raised by my lunatic mother in law who makes me look totally emotionally stable and believe me, that is saying something! I think I can probably trace it back to a school friend suddenly dying at age 17. I lost grandparents at a young age, but you expect that - you don't expect a friend to be sitting on the sofa on Weds telling you she feels "weird" - and dead by Friday (encephalitis in case you are wondering. DNG! (Do Not Google!)
But knowing whatever caused this doesn't really help - I just want it to stop. It has ruled my life for far too long. In the last 10 years I have had (and this is the condensed list!) - cancers of the brain, mouth, throat, stomach, lung (3 times), kidney, pancreas, ovary, skin, plus the systemic ones - lymphoma etc. I have had MS, ALS, Muscular Dystrophy, diabetes, a heart condition, and thyroid issues. These days I tend to specialize mostly in the auto-immune category of killers - especially MS and ALS but I'm also very open to considering obscure cancers if the symptom is right.
I actually find it makes me feel better listing all these things out as it reminds me that despite all these suspected terrible diagnoses I still seem to be here!
My latest freak out - that has brought me to this site - is MS. Again. A sort of numb, "de-sensitized" feeling in both feet, stiff wrists and ankles, and the outer two fingers of my left hand numb. "Achy" forearms and occasional small stumbles which I just noticed were happening today. I had a brain MRI about 8 months ago, after the desensitization feeling in one foot started, but before any if the other stuff. It was clear - but now I'm wondering if it was just too early for any lesions to show??! That MRi was unrelated to the foot though - a twitchy index finger it took me FOUR years to see a doctor about because I was so terrified it was ALS! Diagnosis? A compressed nerve in my neck! He scanned my brain at the same time just because we "may as well". That was November 2012. I'd also had a brain MRI in Feb 2012 for my sudden hearing loss - again that was clear. Would those have shown lesions if this was MS, even before I was really symptomatic? The foot numbness feeling started on the underside of my right foot and around the ankle last Aug 2012.
Of course, I have discounted the fact that all this numbness seemed to get worse and appear in my hands and arms about a month after I joined a gym here having not trained in ages! No - MS is a FAR more likely possibility! Sigh... I have also discounted the fact that I have an ongoing pelvis inflammation problem (sacroiliitis) as a possibility for the weird feeling in my feet...,
I went to the dermatologist the other week because my hair has also been falling out for over a year now, and this was my first trip to the doctor here in the US. He said "Have you been under any particular stresses in the last couple of years?" I said - word for word - "Well, no, not really. I mean, there was the massive earthquake, tsunami and nuclear meltdown of course. And then all the issues related to radioactive contamination of food. Then I went deaf suddenly in one ear and was hospitalized for 2 weeks on IV steroids while they did an MRI and told me they suspected a brain tumor. Then I had 6 months of steroid treatment to fix that (didn't work) and then finally an international house move on my own with 3 children over to the US. But apart from that, no, no major stresses."
Seriously?! Do I listen to myself??!!
So all I have to show for 10 years of stress is deafness in one ear!
I have ups and downs. On a downer right now, but hope to get and give support here. I have tried many books, meds, and alternative forms of help. I hope I can get a bit of understanding here because my husband and mum just DON'T get it at all. I don't blame them really. I'm at a loss to know what to do as well. I also want someone - anyone - even though I know it is not realistic - to just say YOU DON'T HAVE MS!!!!! It's no coincidence that my best friends friend has just been diagnosed with it and guess what his first symptom was - desensitized feeling in his feet! God help me.....
Well, thanks for "listening" and I hope I can help here as well as get some myself. Losing the plot at the moment! :blush:
In sheer desperation I just typed in "get over HA" in the google search bar and it brought me here. So - hi all!
I am British, but living in the US. Just moved here from Japan actually, where I lived for a loooong time and enjoyed instant access to any type of test or treatment I could possibly wish for, and quite a few I didn't wish for at all :scared15:
A little history - I have had HA for as long as I can remember. It has definitely got worse since having children, because added to the general fear of all things lurgy is now the added fear of dying and leaving them to be raised by my lunatic mother in law who makes me look totally emotionally stable and believe me, that is saying something! I think I can probably trace it back to a school friend suddenly dying at age 17. I lost grandparents at a young age, but you expect that - you don't expect a friend to be sitting on the sofa on Weds telling you she feels "weird" - and dead by Friday (encephalitis in case you are wondering. DNG! (Do Not Google!)
But knowing whatever caused this doesn't really help - I just want it to stop. It has ruled my life for far too long. In the last 10 years I have had (and this is the condensed list!) - cancers of the brain, mouth, throat, stomach, lung (3 times), kidney, pancreas, ovary, skin, plus the systemic ones - lymphoma etc. I have had MS, ALS, Muscular Dystrophy, diabetes, a heart condition, and thyroid issues. These days I tend to specialize mostly in the auto-immune category of killers - especially MS and ALS but I'm also very open to considering obscure cancers if the symptom is right.
I actually find it makes me feel better listing all these things out as it reminds me that despite all these suspected terrible diagnoses I still seem to be here!
My latest freak out - that has brought me to this site - is MS. Again. A sort of numb, "de-sensitized" feeling in both feet, stiff wrists and ankles, and the outer two fingers of my left hand numb. "Achy" forearms and occasional small stumbles which I just noticed were happening today. I had a brain MRI about 8 months ago, after the desensitization feeling in one foot started, but before any if the other stuff. It was clear - but now I'm wondering if it was just too early for any lesions to show??! That MRi was unrelated to the foot though - a twitchy index finger it took me FOUR years to see a doctor about because I was so terrified it was ALS! Diagnosis? A compressed nerve in my neck! He scanned my brain at the same time just because we "may as well". That was November 2012. I'd also had a brain MRI in Feb 2012 for my sudden hearing loss - again that was clear. Would those have shown lesions if this was MS, even before I was really symptomatic? The foot numbness feeling started on the underside of my right foot and around the ankle last Aug 2012.
Of course, I have discounted the fact that all this numbness seemed to get worse and appear in my hands and arms about a month after I joined a gym here having not trained in ages! No - MS is a FAR more likely possibility! Sigh... I have also discounted the fact that I have an ongoing pelvis inflammation problem (sacroiliitis) as a possibility for the weird feeling in my feet...,
I went to the dermatologist the other week because my hair has also been falling out for over a year now, and this was my first trip to the doctor here in the US. He said "Have you been under any particular stresses in the last couple of years?" I said - word for word - "Well, no, not really. I mean, there was the massive earthquake, tsunami and nuclear meltdown of course. And then all the issues related to radioactive contamination of food. Then I went deaf suddenly in one ear and was hospitalized for 2 weeks on IV steroids while they did an MRI and told me they suspected a brain tumor. Then I had 6 months of steroid treatment to fix that (didn't work) and then finally an international house move on my own with 3 children over to the US. But apart from that, no, no major stresses."
Seriously?! Do I listen to myself??!!
So all I have to show for 10 years of stress is deafness in one ear!
I have ups and downs. On a downer right now, but hope to get and give support here. I have tried many books, meds, and alternative forms of help. I hope I can get a bit of understanding here because my husband and mum just DON'T get it at all. I don't blame them really. I'm at a loss to know what to do as well. I also want someone - anyone - even though I know it is not realistic - to just say YOU DON'T HAVE MS!!!!! It's no coincidence that my best friends friend has just been diagnosed with it and guess what his first symptom was - desensitized feeling in his feet! God help me.....
Well, thanks for "listening" and I hope I can help here as well as get some myself. Losing the plot at the moment! :blush: