star2sparkle
14-08-13, 08:08
I'm sorry, I'm back again...I just can't seem to get anywhere so have returned with still hope in my heart :).
I am still struggling to leave my husband who I don't love anymore. He is a recovering alcoholic with depression. I suffer from phobic anxiety with agoraphobia. My husband knew I wanted to leave and is now making an extra effort, but I simply don't love him. Our relationship has always been co-dependent too because of how we both are.
I get as much help as I possibly can in my area, even a private counsellor too. I am very resourceful and mentally very strong but I'm despairing that I really will be trapped forever.
I don't have friends. Just the odd female friend that states she is there for me and then I don't hear from her for days! Or a male friend who encourages me to leave and then says that if his wife left him, he'd be found with a needle in his arm! I am very gregarious, I'm not a loner, I'm the opposite. Apart from my work, which is all at home, that's all I have. I don't have any close friends. I do have things/groups to join end of August/September but my own degree in psychology states that a support network is essential, and family (without ne, people can be come very depressed/anxious, even suicidal)...and this I do not have, and to try and create one (when because community has broken down so much, I have really failed before, many times) with anxiety too, feels like a massive massive thing. Not to mention leaving devastation behind. Is this really possible? This is what I ask myself everyday.
Please help...
I am still struggling to leave my husband who I don't love anymore. He is a recovering alcoholic with depression. I suffer from phobic anxiety with agoraphobia. My husband knew I wanted to leave and is now making an extra effort, but I simply don't love him. Our relationship has always been co-dependent too because of how we both are.
I get as much help as I possibly can in my area, even a private counsellor too. I am very resourceful and mentally very strong but I'm despairing that I really will be trapped forever.
I don't have friends. Just the odd female friend that states she is there for me and then I don't hear from her for days! Or a male friend who encourages me to leave and then says that if his wife left him, he'd be found with a needle in his arm! I am very gregarious, I'm not a loner, I'm the opposite. Apart from my work, which is all at home, that's all I have. I don't have any close friends. I do have things/groups to join end of August/September but my own degree in psychology states that a support network is essential, and family (without ne, people can be come very depressed/anxious, even suicidal)...and this I do not have, and to try and create one (when because community has broken down so much, I have really failed before, many times) with anxiety too, feels like a massive massive thing. Not to mention leaving devastation behind. Is this really possible? This is what I ask myself everyday.
Please help...