Too much going on, slipping under again

[Button1]

Hi guys,

I've managed to stay away for quite a while now and have been doing quite well. The main cause of my HA is bowel cancer and I have a phobia of going to the toilet- i had convinced myself I must have bloody stools but I've managed to check them a couple of times and actually they've been normal so I've been so relieved and positive.


But now I'm on a downward spiral and don't know how to pick myself back up. I've taken myself of sertraline 100mg because I want to try for another baby. I'm on a waiting list for a second round of cbt but haven't had an appointment yet.


I'm obsessed with lots of symptoms- sometimes I have back ache, sometimes I have a pelvic ache like I've got a uti, I've had sore shoulder and chest muscles for months, I get fleeting pains under my left ribs...all of these things my friends and family explain away by having to lift my heavy child, having given birth to a very large baby, having IBS...




I'm also obsessed with not being able to get pregnant again and hav convinced myself that I picked up an infection when I gave birth last year that has left me infertile : (




I want to crawl under my duvet today, please someone help make it go away...I'm too scared to see my doctor : (

[hadenough]

hi Button. I wanted to let you know that Im going through a very similar thing. I also believe I have bowel cancer, I have had diarrhoea for nearly 3 weeks and tried to put it down to my anxiety but that hasnt worked at all. I have to see the gp next week and if Im not better I have to go for tests. I absolutely know how you feel, I just want to bury myself under the duvet, I am having terrible panic attacks which are crippling me. Its good that youve managed to look and cant see anything untoward so that is a very good sign. I also have a phobia of going to the toilet and that makes everything so much harder. I just wanted to let you know that youre not alone with your worries. xxx