holiday anxiety

[worried 101]

hi there.
I am going on holiday next week with my partner and his children and i am feeling quite anxious about it. I just wondered if anyone else experiences these kind of anxieties around holidays?
I have been with my partner for 3 years and have known his children for roughly the same amount of time and we get on really well but I think that I sometimes get a little anxious about the fact that i wont have any space as we are staying in a caravan, that when im anxious I can drive to my mums, cry or whatever i need to, but obviously on holiday i wont have that freedom.
Holidays in general make me anxious, i guess its the change in the routine but wondered if anyone else had ever experineced this and if people had any tips?
Thanks guys.x

[cokesmyth5]

I have always had something of a phobia about holidays abroad- won't go into why now. I had good CBT help to allow me to leave the country, starting with day trips to France and building up from there. Even now, I can only travel within Europe.
I've always felt I have to be very honest with my fellow holiday makers (adults of course) about possibility of anxiety, being withdrawn etc. I've always felt guilty at the thought of ruining a holiday for others and also feel pressure at the thought of having to be constantly happy/carefree when I feel the opposite. I've asked to be "allowed" to spend some time alone if I feel the need. This has worked for me but I realise it does depend upon how supportive others are. Hope it works out.

[worried 101]

Thanks for the advice.my partner is well aware of my feelings.i juat want to be able to actually enjoy these things rather than feel sick,have my stomach in knots and want to cry!
Feel like there is such a pressure on me to be happy as generally people are on hols!i find it so so hard this whole anxiety thing.it literally takes over my whole life and i cant stand it.it makes me question everything and doubt everything.
I went to the docs on fri and finally had a really good pne who happened to be a psychotherapist and he is referring me to a counselling place that im ringing this morbing.i know its a positive stwp but dosent help me for the here and now.
Just feeling pretty low.

[Leem]

Hi Worried. I came off holiday a couple of weeks back where I spent some of it being pretty anxious. What I did was opt out of the odd activities and have some down time, reading, meditation etc.. people understand more than we give them credit for.

In fact I found the experience actually helped me, because it is different like you say and has all the ingredients for a challenging time. However, it takes real courage to do things like this, the fact that you are going shows you are progressing. You aren't hiding from it and thats the first huge step to beating it. You cant avoid it anyway, look at it in the eyes and see it all for what it is. Nothing, it has no power at all when we really stare it down. Ride through the anxiety and more importantly, relax.

Don't be too hard on yourself, in fact, its the opposite, give yourself a pat on the back for having that determination to go and do it. That for me is a great sign!

[worried 101]

hey leem thanks for the advice. i think your right,spending a bit of time alone and chilling would be good for me, im worried on so many levels but this has been a real problem for me, ill explain, its rather long winded but here goes!
goign through this horrible relationship anxiety. i sorta want to explain when it came about its a bit of a long winded story so please bare with me.
i have been with my partner for over three years now, and have a great relationship, i have been through anxiety in the relationship before and got over it.
at the moment its really bad, it started when my boyfriend got some pretty bad news about his health (heart prolblem) and we were due to go camping and got stuck in some traffic and he got mad and shouted half at me but more at the situation...was like 'well this is a great holiday isnt it?!'
hes never ever shouted before and when we got there apologised but still distsnt the next day. Hardly bad behaviour considering his news eh?! jesus i would have been so much worse and i do not blame him in the slightest for being distant and not himself.
but straight away i felt this anxiety and this worry about what if it carried on like this.. him being distant....what if we didnt work?blah blah..basically anxiety stuff.
I feel awful as its hardly like hes done anything wrong...ive been goign through other anxieties as well as this and depression and hes had his stuff and so weve been feeling pretty down and not that close and thats just adding to my anxiety.
we are going on holiday with his children on sat and although i think it will give us time to relax together i still feel scared about it. i litearlly broke down this eve as was so worried.

[star68]

I have GAD and when I go on holidays it´s always a hard time for me. When I look at my friends pictures on holidays in Facebook and they look so happy and without a care in the world, for me is a different history. I get very worried while on holidays, fear of feeling ill, every symptom seems a lot worse than normal and in my mind it´s the constant fear of dying, and to top it all up I get insomnia. I try to ignore the symptoms but they come in waves and is a constant battle. My therapist says that perhaps I should take some medication only when I am on holiday to make me relax. Perhaps you could take some natural remedy to make you relax and enjoy your time. I will do that next time.
The most important thing is that you have the support from your boyfriend, the feeling that you are not alone I have to say my husband it´s a great support when I have a crisis.
Best of luck.

[Edie]

I find it very stressful to go away, and also to be at close quaters with other people.

Maybe you can speak to your partner in advance about coping strategies. For example, can you go for a walk on your own every day? Can you spend some time alone in your bedroom every day? Maybe say you're going to "read a book," but have a good cry if you need to. Can your partner take the children out without you for one whole day? You can stay back at the caravan or go out, ring your mum, whatever you want, but give you some time alone.

With some coping strategies planned in advance, it might help you feel reassured and concentrate on enjoying the holiday. With some time alone planned in, hopefully you will enjoy your time together more.

[worried 101]

hiya guys.
thanks for the replies.
my boyfriend is very supportive of me. always there when i need him and knows when i need to be by myself and that. He would be absolutely fine to take the kids away while i do my own thing, but its this stupid anxiety over the relationship that getting me down so much..
its like my anxiety is targeting things to cause me so much pain and grief.
I love my boyfriend to bits and in my rational moments i know i do and unfortunately we have just had a bit of a rough period but the feeling that my anxiety creates feel so real and makes me feel so crap that its scary.
I don't want to wreck the holiday over this but feel i just cant control it.
I have spoken to my boyfriend about this but not in great detail as do not want to upset him,it just sucks sooo much.