JoyInTheMorning
18-08-13, 22:09
Hello, my name is Nicole and I am relatively new to No More Panic. I suffer from severe chronic anxiety and have for several years. Lately, I've experienced some things that have made me more anxious and depressed than usual. On an emotional level, this is causing me to feel pretty inadequate--as though I don't amount to anything, and I only make those around me angry. I know that's not true, but you know how it goes...
On a physical level, I'm feeling extremely hypersensitive to environmental stimuli--sounds especially, but also tastes and smells. This has been a very recent development--within the past few years--and I attribute iti directly to anxiety, not any underlying condition. I'm usually a very social person, but when I get this sensitive, I don't like anyone in my personal space unless I know to expect it. I'm finding that everything hurts my ears and causes my heart rate to increase, or simply exhausts me. Sometimes, I get quite breathless when I'm exposed to sudden noise or a spontaneous change in my immediate plans. Examples: the kitchen timer, someone crinkling cellophane a few feet from me, anyone speaking above an extremely quiet and carefully-modulated tone, a distant radio, the television even when on mute, the ringing of the telephone... Now, if I'm controlling the noises, it's fine--music, a humidifier, a timer that I set... anything goes.
What usually causes this to surface is experiencing any emotional trauma associated with loud noise. Most of my friends and loved-ones tend to get very animated, even to the point of shouting, when upset or excited. When they do, if their anger/emotion is directed at me, it takes me a few days to recover physically, to not have an extreme reaction to any sort of noise and to not seclude myself away in the quietest room in the house. I know this is connected with anxiety, but the sensation is physical--an actual pain of the eardrum that rattles my whole system. I've actually gotten checked by an audiologist before, because I thought something was physically wrong with my ears, but I've seen that the instant I feel emotionally safe again, this hypersensitivity vanishes almost completely. The audiologist, by the way, found nothing amiss.
Has anyone besides me experienced this? Besides hiding, have you found any good coping strategies? I try to alleviate the situation before it gets out-of-hand and causes the sensory defensiveness I'm describing, but asking people to keep their voices down and explaining my hypersensitivity doesn't always work. I try to plan ahead, but can't always anticipate the startling stimuli that may present themselves in my environment. I have heard that medication works very well for some, and if that describes you, then I say congratulations; however, medication is not right for me at this time. I am seeing a very good therapist, but I don't think I've adequately convinced her as to how debilitating this can be.
All I know is that this is making me miserable. If I could just get away from it all for awhile, that would be fine--but people around me expect me to be much, much stronger than that. When I've tried to explain my level of anxiety, they tend to take it personally and/or insist that I'm doing something wrong. I'm not writing this out of anger, but because I need a solution that works better socially, emotionally, etc., as far as my friends and family are concerned--something quicker than the slow-recovery-in-seclusion treatment, and something that will keep me strong enough not to fall apart when loud noises, unpleasant tastes and smells, etc. assault my senses.
I truly appreciate any advice anyone may have to offer. Thank you so much.
On a physical level, I'm feeling extremely hypersensitive to environmental stimuli--sounds especially, but also tastes and smells. This has been a very recent development--within the past few years--and I attribute iti directly to anxiety, not any underlying condition. I'm usually a very social person, but when I get this sensitive, I don't like anyone in my personal space unless I know to expect it. I'm finding that everything hurts my ears and causes my heart rate to increase, or simply exhausts me. Sometimes, I get quite breathless when I'm exposed to sudden noise or a spontaneous change in my immediate plans. Examples: the kitchen timer, someone crinkling cellophane a few feet from me, anyone speaking above an extremely quiet and carefully-modulated tone, a distant radio, the television even when on mute, the ringing of the telephone... Now, if I'm controlling the noises, it's fine--music, a humidifier, a timer that I set... anything goes.
What usually causes this to surface is experiencing any emotional trauma associated with loud noise. Most of my friends and loved-ones tend to get very animated, even to the point of shouting, when upset or excited. When they do, if their anger/emotion is directed at me, it takes me a few days to recover physically, to not have an extreme reaction to any sort of noise and to not seclude myself away in the quietest room in the house. I know this is connected with anxiety, but the sensation is physical--an actual pain of the eardrum that rattles my whole system. I've actually gotten checked by an audiologist before, because I thought something was physically wrong with my ears, but I've seen that the instant I feel emotionally safe again, this hypersensitivity vanishes almost completely. The audiologist, by the way, found nothing amiss.
Has anyone besides me experienced this? Besides hiding, have you found any good coping strategies? I try to alleviate the situation before it gets out-of-hand and causes the sensory defensiveness I'm describing, but asking people to keep their voices down and explaining my hypersensitivity doesn't always work. I try to plan ahead, but can't always anticipate the startling stimuli that may present themselves in my environment. I have heard that medication works very well for some, and if that describes you, then I say congratulations; however, medication is not right for me at this time. I am seeing a very good therapist, but I don't think I've adequately convinced her as to how debilitating this can be.
All I know is that this is making me miserable. If I could just get away from it all for awhile, that would be fine--but people around me expect me to be much, much stronger than that. When I've tried to explain my level of anxiety, they tend to take it personally and/or insist that I'm doing something wrong. I'm not writing this out of anger, but because I need a solution that works better socially, emotionally, etc., as far as my friends and family are concerned--something quicker than the slow-recovery-in-seclusion treatment, and something that will keep me strong enough not to fall apart when loud noises, unpleasant tastes and smells, etc. assault my senses.
I truly appreciate any advice anyone may have to offer. Thank you so much.