New member- is this derealization?

[Dbsworrier]

Hello,

So I'm a new member who does not normally like to post on these kind of forums, but after days of searching the net looking for someone who had the same feeling I'm having I finally had to post cos I can't find the exact same thing anywhere!

So basically I've had anxiety issues for years and years, I've got over issues and they've relapsed and so on. My recent problem is something I guess would be described as derealization, but I have not seen anyone describe EXACTLY the symptoms I'm feeling.

So basically I can't seem to comprehend objects. I can't work out how they're here, how I'm able to pick them up, how they can be stacked on top of eachother, how they can exist far away from me etc. it's so hard to explain I don't even know that the text I've written there actually described it.

Like for example the phone I'm handling now. I can't seem to comprehend how this object exists, how I'm interacting with it and how I can keep a hold of it. J can understand the science behind it, but it seems to be a philosophical nightmare.

The same thing happens when looking at surroundings as well. I see a building in the distance, it seems odd to me that I could just go over there and touch it, that it even exists, that I could scale it if I so wanted.

Going round the shops today was hard, as things I was picking up I just couldn't get my head round. Why is it there, how can it rest on this other object etc. and when I'm buying things, how can I walk around with this thing I don't feel even exists in my warped reality?

Sorry to go on and on, but I was just wondering if anyone else has ever gone through this mental minefield and if there are any tips for coping.

Thanks for reading.
David.

[Daisy Sue]

Hi David, welcome to the forum :)

I've never experienced anything like you describe - although I know others here have - it sounds surreal and very unsettling!

I hope you get some support and reassurance here. Maybe do a search (top of page) using the keyword 'derealization' - there are probably many threads which touch on this topic.

[ankietyjoe]

I suspect it would be difficult to comprehend these things even if you didn't suffer with anxiety. You are considering metaphysics with a stressed and anxious mind! :shades:

I also think that symptoms can combine in different ways and are often very specific to the individual so I wouldn't worry that you haven't found anybody complaining of exactly the same issues as you either.

The reality (or is it?) is that nobody knows the 'why' questions you're asking yourself, we're only just starting to understand the 'how'!

It's like thinking about walking, once you do it becomes complicated and you start to fall over!

[PanchoGoz]

It's not exactly deralisation, it's fear. And fear can be about anything, so in the world of fear, nothing is unusual!

[Dbsworrier]

Thanks for the replies.

I'm still having difficulties which seem to change slightly every day and more questions enter my head.

Does anyone have any advice on coping strategies before the no doubt massive amount of time before I see the doctor?

[xvolatileheart]

I think what you're describing is more in the realm of OCD. I, too, have obsessive thoughts that cause me a great deal of anxiety. They can be about losing my mind, not feeling real, convincing myself I have cancer, all sorts of things. I would speak to a doctor about it, there are therapies that can help.

[Dbsworrier]

So yeah update.

I need more advice while I await my doctors appointment.

My weird feelings have really developed. I'm finding it odd that I am able to interact with the outside world and when I talk about normal things it feels wrong, like I should be only thinking about the feelings in my head.

The world just doesn't feel the same for me anymore. :(

[xvolatileheart]

I had an awful day of derealization and I know exactly how you feel. Does it cause you sadness? Fear? Nothingness?

I'm calling tomorrow to make an appointment with the GP because I feel like I've lost all control. When are you seeing the doctor?

Sending you good thoughts. :hugs:

[Dbsworrier]

I'm hopefully going tomorrow. It's just very scary. I'm doubting so much that I am in the real world that I'm starting to believe nothing is real. I can't even pick up a ****ing cotton bud from a tub of them cos I can't work out how it is possible for this tiny thing to exist.

Even when I interact with people it seems odd that I can talk normally to them because all I am thinking about is this.

They say this stuff isn't madness but it certainly feels like it.

[xvolatileheart]

I totally know what you mean. As I was talking to my husband at lunch today, I started analyzing everything I was saying and felt like I was outside of my own mind, like the person who was speaking was not me. Then everything around me suddenly felt unreal and I got so scared. We left half of our food because I needed to leave. :blush: On the walk home, we were discussing why I feel like this and I completely broke down and started sobbing. I feel like a total nutjob, like I've well and truly lost my mind. Seems like I'm never going to get better.

I hope we can both see our doctors tomorrow. Let us know how it goes. xx

[Elf20]

Yes, I feel like that sometimes. Really often, to be certain. I feel like i can't understand things that people take for granted, even existence itself. Like there is always something incomprehensible about the nature of everything. "How" and "why" and "what if" and a general sense that nothing is like it seems to be.
I think that this feeling is there because of anxiety. When i'm not that anxious, it disappears and i feel fine. However, random unpleasant and anxiety-triggering events can bring it back.
I hope you feel better. *hugs*

[Dbsworrier]

Well I went to the doctors today and got referred to the mental health clinic.

I've had a really rough day though. I'm pretty much believing the world isn't real now. My mind feels completely disconnected from my body, my conversations scare the shit out of me. I'm really struggling to stay positive so spend most of my time asleep as that seems to be the safest place.

[xvolatileheart]

I'm sorry you're having such a bad time. Did they say how long the referral will take? All I can advise is to try not to fight the feeling - just accept it as anxiety and "float through it". Did you get any medication?

[Dbsworrier]

Oh I've been on medication for years.

[xvolatileheart]

Perhaps it's time for an adjustment to the meds?

[Dbsworrier]

Coming of them I think. I've been on a horribly high dose for ages.

[xvolatileheart]

Good luck. I hope you feel better off of them!

[HannahA]

I was once told by a therapist that derealisation is your bodies way of reducicing your anxiety when it hits a high, I used to be petrified that I was going crazy but now I realise that it's a reaction I feel better. Try counting items in the room x