getting sadder

[evolve]

Hello.

I'm reaching out for a little support I guess. I had been on 20mg for a month, then upped to 40, and I am 3 weeks into that. I really was doing better for awhile, truly, but the past few days I've just been so sad... I'm full of shame and loneliness and sadness. And I'm completely unmotivated, I can't seem to do anything.

When I started the 20, I had a week of obvious side effects... headaches, sleepiness, difficulty concentrating. When I started the 40, I went into a deep depression for 3 days but then it got better for a bit. But lately... I wouldn't say I'm anywhere near that 'deep depression' I experienced... but I'm just so sad and anxious. I'm convinced no one likes me and I would never ever kill myself (my father did that and it just destroyed my family, I could never do that to my mother)... but I don't hate the idea of no longer living.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?? In and out sadness that... perhaps got better after 2 months or so?? :wacko::)

I want to be patient as I'm only 7 weeks in, but it seems so strange that I would have been doing better, and at this point declining. I feel... well, I've already said it. :weep:

[moonspirit]

Hi Evole:)

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time but its good that you have felt better, im just getting into my 3rd week on meds so still having a rough time at the moment. But i remember the last time i was like this it took a few months to feel back to my normal self again, when you think all you will have been through you will be exhausted so dont be too tough on yourself it will only be natural to feel sad. Hopefully tomorrow will be a brighter day for you and this is only just a little blip.
:)

[MastiffMan]

Sounds like SE's. You need to hang in one day at a time. This will pass. Curious? Are you taking brand name or generic. Keep the faith better times are ahead.

[evolve]

Man this stuff is crazy. After I wrote that on Monday I got even worse, I literally curled up in a fetal position next to my dog and wept. I didn't eat, didn't answer the phone, it was awful.

Then I woke up Tuesday... fine. Seriously! I had a great day yesterday. And I'm feeling pretty ok right now as well.

Well... hopefully this can provide some hope for others going through SE. It feels so damn real and all consuming when you're experiencing it.

(And I'm on the generic. WOW so much cheaper!)

Can't wait until this levels out...

---------- Post added at 07:08 ---------- Previous post was at 07:07 ----------

And thank you for the replies! This is such a nice forum.