This is me

[Brown_eyed_girl]

Hello all :))

This is my first thread or what ever its called, just want to put it out there that I am a terrible speller and things I say may not make sense. Bear with me lol... I'm 23 years old and 2 years ago my journey started, the D word. It was very hard for me to come to terms with it but after a few failed attempts of talking to my doctor I finally plucked up the courage to really tell him how I was feeling. Ended up being put on citalopram, with the dosages going up and up each time I visited my doctor as I didn't feel they where doing anything at all, except for the awful side effects - feeling sick, bitting down on my teeth and grinding and my love of food suddenly disappeared.. I then was changed onto some type of Prozac, didn't have any side effects that I noticed but again I felt like there was no difference in me. Decided to come off them all together (I know it's not the right thing to do). Almost a year on and I feel like I have came so far and over come so many things, but at the same time I feel lost in myself like I have never felt. My confidence has gone completely, I feel like I have to please everyone. I hate the thought of people thinking badly of me. I hate the way I look, constantly putting myself down infront of my partner. I'm not good at expressing my feelings as I get so worked up to the point wheremy mind constantly goes blank, I lose my train of thought.

Now I'm wondering do I go back to my doctor and explain to him? Hard for me to do tho as I always go in and either forget a lot of important things or I shut down and avoid bringing it up.

I feel like I have came so far from where I was last year, but now it's a hole other cattle of fish. It scares me!

Any advice or similar story's would maybe give me the courage to make a app with my doctor, thanks :)) brown_eyed_girl

[BessieMae*candothis!]

its important to take care of yourself!! Don't be afraid of the doctors they are there to help you. I totally understand the apprehension, I am terrified of medication and hate the way it takes a while for them to kick in. but I'm at a point where I would rather feel better than the way I have been feeling.

---------- Post added at 20:13 ---------- Previous post was at 20:12 ----------

Oh and make a list of all the things you want to discuss with your doctor so you don't forget

[cokesmyth5]

I'm lucky enough to have an excellent consultant. He always insists that there is an anti dep out there to suit everyone. It can take some time to find it sometimes but it can be done. You could perhaps ask your GP if you could be referred to a consultant - they obviously have more expertise with different drugs - and it may be good to talk to a specialist about how you're feeling. Good luck!

[phoenix29]

I feel ya. I have panic anxiety and depression all wrapped into one. I am totally now fighting for my life back. But if you want to chat I am here going through the same things. Your never alone and that should feel a little better. take care...I wish you well.