Brown_eyed_girl
20-08-13, 03:16
Hello all :))
This is my first thread or what ever its called, just want to put it out there that I am a terrible speller and things I say may not make sense. Bear with me lol... I'm 23 years old and 2 years ago my journey started, the D word. It was very hard for me to come to terms with it but after a few failed attempts of talking to my doctor I finally plucked up the courage to really tell him how I was feeling. Ended up being put on citalopram, with the dosages going up and up each time I visited my doctor as I didn't feel they where doing anything at all, except for the awful side effects - feeling sick, bitting down on my teeth and grinding and my love of food suddenly disappeared.. I then was changed onto some type of Prozac, didn't have any side effects that I noticed but again I felt like there was no difference in me. Decided to come off them all together (I know it's not the right thing to do). Almost a year on and I feel like I have came so far and over come so many things, but at the same time I feel lost in myself like I have never felt. My confidence has gone completely, I feel like I have to please everyone. I hate the thought of people thinking badly of me. I hate the way I look, constantly putting myself down infront of my partner. I'm not good at expressing my feelings as I get so worked up to the point wheremy mind constantly goes blank, I lose my train of thought.
Now I'm wondering do I go back to my doctor and explain to him? Hard for me to do tho as I always go in and either forget a lot of important things or I shut down and avoid bringing it up.
I feel like I have came so far from where I was last year, but now it's a hole other cattle of fish. It scares me!
Any advice or similar story's would maybe give me the courage to make a app with my doctor, thanks :)) brown_eyed_girl
This is my first thread or what ever its called, just want to put it out there that I am a terrible speller and things I say may not make sense. Bear with me lol... I'm 23 years old and 2 years ago my journey started, the D word. It was very hard for me to come to terms with it but after a few failed attempts of talking to my doctor I finally plucked up the courage to really tell him how I was feeling. Ended up being put on citalopram, with the dosages going up and up each time I visited my doctor as I didn't feel they where doing anything at all, except for the awful side effects - feeling sick, bitting down on my teeth and grinding and my love of food suddenly disappeared.. I then was changed onto some type of Prozac, didn't have any side effects that I noticed but again I felt like there was no difference in me. Decided to come off them all together (I know it's not the right thing to do). Almost a year on and I feel like I have came so far and over come so many things, but at the same time I feel lost in myself like I have never felt. My confidence has gone completely, I feel like I have to please everyone. I hate the thought of people thinking badly of me. I hate the way I look, constantly putting myself down infront of my partner. I'm not good at expressing my feelings as I get so worked up to the point wheremy mind constantly goes blank, I lose my train of thought.
Now I'm wondering do I go back to my doctor and explain to him? Hard for me to do tho as I always go in and either forget a lot of important things or I shut down and avoid bringing it up.
I feel like I have came so far from where I was last year, but now it's a hole other cattle of fish. It scares me!
Any advice or similar story's would maybe give me the courage to make a app with my doctor, thanks :)) brown_eyed_girl