zoexo
20-08-13, 16:47
Im zoe, im normally tough as anything! And can beat bad feelinggs and nerves and the #### life throws at you! So thats why im here.
Iv always suffered being a little paranoid or a bit flitty, in cars, if I think too much etc, normal anxiety that didnt cause a problem. But last friday it came in like a gunshot.I was helping mum at work, and on the way home I lost it, I got this hot flush all up my body, my heart started too race and things looked so far away and not real. I couldnt hear right, I couldnt see right, and I got convultions in my chest and my whole body was trembling and twitching. I was screaming in panic, I thought I was going. I was basically having a fit, the doctors wastnt far and I rushed in. My body started too calm and the doctors did routine checks, blood pressure ecg etc. Nothing. Iv had it since, and been too the doctors again yesterday. It happened twice in the saturday, rush of fear, for no reason. Uncontrolled, spasms in my chest and nothing feeling real, sounds that are normal terrify me and everything looks so strange and I loose it, I really think im dying, especially as it starts in my chest.
Iv had a hard 5 months, after loosing someone very precious and struggling through a tough job, continuous problems with work and my health, and that morning our cat was run over that was part of the family for 8 years, and I had too bury him. I was too okay with it, no crying, just shock. 3 hours later I thought I was having a heart attack. Maybe it was the straw that broke the camels back, thats what im told. its the fits that scare me the most, the feeling of myself dying and feeling my heart/chest going into a spasm, and it convulsing and fitting, and the out of body feeling. I cant take anymore.
I cant go back too work, and im terrified nothig will change. It begins as soon as I wake up in the morning, the hot flush, the depersonalisation, feeling out of body and panic and dread, and like im dying. Then it continues, It follows one after another throughout the day. Im on sertraline, diazapam for emergencys and beta blockers which they didnt want too give me anyway bcause i have very low blood pressure. Nothing feels helpful, and this has been continuous one after another since friday. I cant take much more, I find it getting better, then i get another, the worst is it happens subconciously, I think Im fine then bam. Is there anything else it could be the doctors missed? Or am I just so stuck in this im believing its worse. These are controlling my life, I don't knoe what too do. Im with my partner and his mother, as they have been through it before, but thy havent expierienced some of what im feeling, and it feels as if thier getting impatient with me, I don't blame them, it doesn't stop. the chest spasms have calmed because of the beta blockers, and my heart doesnt race as much. but the medication also gives me horrible hot flushes.
Im sorry for the long message, but im exausted, and I dont know where else too turn. Thankyou :woof
Iv always suffered being a little paranoid or a bit flitty, in cars, if I think too much etc, normal anxiety that didnt cause a problem. But last friday it came in like a gunshot.I was helping mum at work, and on the way home I lost it, I got this hot flush all up my body, my heart started too race and things looked so far away and not real. I couldnt hear right, I couldnt see right, and I got convultions in my chest and my whole body was trembling and twitching. I was screaming in panic, I thought I was going. I was basically having a fit, the doctors wastnt far and I rushed in. My body started too calm and the doctors did routine checks, blood pressure ecg etc. Nothing. Iv had it since, and been too the doctors again yesterday. It happened twice in the saturday, rush of fear, for no reason. Uncontrolled, spasms in my chest and nothing feeling real, sounds that are normal terrify me and everything looks so strange and I loose it, I really think im dying, especially as it starts in my chest.
Iv had a hard 5 months, after loosing someone very precious and struggling through a tough job, continuous problems with work and my health, and that morning our cat was run over that was part of the family for 8 years, and I had too bury him. I was too okay with it, no crying, just shock. 3 hours later I thought I was having a heart attack. Maybe it was the straw that broke the camels back, thats what im told. its the fits that scare me the most, the feeling of myself dying and feeling my heart/chest going into a spasm, and it convulsing and fitting, and the out of body feeling. I cant take anymore.
I cant go back too work, and im terrified nothig will change. It begins as soon as I wake up in the morning, the hot flush, the depersonalisation, feeling out of body and panic and dread, and like im dying. Then it continues, It follows one after another throughout the day. Im on sertraline, diazapam for emergencys and beta blockers which they didnt want too give me anyway bcause i have very low blood pressure. Nothing feels helpful, and this has been continuous one after another since friday. I cant take much more, I find it getting better, then i get another, the worst is it happens subconciously, I think Im fine then bam. Is there anything else it could be the doctors missed? Or am I just so stuck in this im believing its worse. These are controlling my life, I don't knoe what too do. Im with my partner and his mother, as they have been through it before, but thy havent expierienced some of what im feeling, and it feels as if thier getting impatient with me, I don't blame them, it doesn't stop. the chest spasms have calmed because of the beta blockers, and my heart doesnt race as much. but the medication also gives me horrible hot flushes.
Im sorry for the long message, but im exausted, and I dont know where else too turn. Thankyou :woof