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View Full Version : Is this level of anxiety over low risk hiv exposure normal?



Maria77
21-08-13, 06:09
Hi I need help, but please bare with me so that I can get the facts out:

I am a single mum in my late thirties, single for 3 years now, and as my son was on holiday for the first time with dad's family I made the choice of going on a date - online dating site. I did not like the man, when I met him, but I foolishly decided to sleep with him because I thought it would be nice to experience that after a long time.

I went to his house and although he had condoms he first tried to re-negotiate the use of the condom, he said he would prefer not to use it. I of course asked him to use a condom but whilst this conversation went on he was pushing his penis against my vagina. he then wore a condom and the sex lasted just a few minutes.
This was all. Ah and of course I flossed my teeth before leaving my house and a bit of blood was there on one of my teeth - we kissed.

I came home so disappointed in myself.
I started worrying that he could have given me a std when he pushed, although there was no penetration without a condom. I made myself literally sick with worry. Six days later I got a spot on my vagina and I went to the sexual health clinic and tested for all STDs including HIV and Syphilis, which is what the white spot seemed to suggest. Of course I need to test again at 6 weeks but that is in three weeks time and I am not sure I will still be sane by then.

My son came home from holiday and our cat scratched him, when I was cleaning the bit of blood on his leg I noticed that the cat had scratched me too and I had dripped blood on the tissue I was using to clean my son,

this started a new cycle of worry, guilt and shame.

If my irresponsible act wd cause such a health condition as hiv to my son, I would have to....

You see I am just unable to cope with that thought.

I have not slept tonight, not a wink, googling things about hiv.

I am loosing my mind,
Results for the tests at two weeks are due next week.

Please help.
Maria

Results at two weeks were negative, of course need to re-test at 6 weeks and three months but that makes me feel better.
Thank you for your replies and emails. I can't reply because I need 20 posts to reply but please let me thank you all.

roy
21-08-13, 17:49
Maria I am no expert but I would say the chances of you catching anything were nearly if not completely zero.

Anxious_gal
21-08-13, 18:37
Very low risk, it's not as easy as you'd think to even catch HIV from full penetration with a HIV positive person.

Even IF you caught HIV it would take time for the virus to develop and grow enough for you to be able to infect another person, so don't worry at all about the tissue and little bit of blood.

It's good you got tested to be on the safe side. You don't have HIV not from skin on skin contact, the risk is almost none if any at all.

Don't feel guilty, you had the sense to use a condom. And feeling guilty isn't going to do anyone any good.

You are blowing things waaaay out of proportion, imagining the worst case scenario.

Did you talk to the doctor/nurse about your fear?

Maria77
27-08-13, 10:57
Hi AG,
Thank you for the perspective here, I have, doc said one night stands are always very emotionally charged and people can channel guilt and shame into anxiety. My first set of tests is ok, but need to re-test at 6 weeks, and three months.
Thank you again for your reply!