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paranoidtree
22-08-13, 14:24
Hi all, I haven't been on here since March. Even I was a bit surprised by how much time has passed but I wanted to come on and share where I am at the moment.

This time last year I was agoraphobic, health anxiety was through the roof, social anxiety, I wasn't working - basically I was a bit of a mess. The doctor wanted me to go back on citalopram but I refused.

Fast forward a year and I am a different person. I started work last November as a school librarian which I love, I've been offered a part time temp contact at John Lewis (though I'm debating about whether or not to accept this offer!), I've been on holiday, I'm due to start a degree in September (BSc in Nutritional Therapy), I volunteer in a charity shop, turned 30 (eek!), I even lost weight!

Don't get me wrong, I still have anxiety but having worked with a new therapist for the last 11 months I have been learning how to cope. I don't take anti-depressants though I do have diazepam for when the panic is too much but (touch wood) I don't take it on a regular basis.

I just want people to know that inside you (and it could feel really deep down inside!) that you have strength, and with this you can overcome anything, even anxiety. I'm not always as positive as this however keeping myself in the now (rather than in the past or the imagined future) has been really helpful.

Also, don't be put off by how long i've been working with a therapist, I have some complex trauma issues going back 20 odd years so it takes time to work through and deal with! Be patient with yourselves, it's a hard lesson but one that's worth it! Anyway, hope you are all well and good luck on your journeys!

ElizabethJane
23-08-13, 11:58
I think that you have done really well. Well done. EJ

Ally-SA
26-08-13, 12:28
Thank you so much for this post - gives me some hope! :D And well done to you - keep going!

My health anxiety is quite bad at the moment, but I'm trying not to take meds too. I have to get busy living again...

:hugs:

Sparkle1984
26-08-13, 15:48
You've copied very well. Unlike you, I did have to go back on citalopram for a second time though. I came off it originally at the start of this year and I suffered a bad relapse after a month so I went back on. I am fine again now but I don't know when I'll come of as I'd be scared of having another relapse.

I'd say yes to the job at John Lewis as they're a good company to work for. :)

paranoidtree
27-08-13, 09:13
Hey guys, thanks for your responses.

Ally - if you are looking at alternative/natural remedies I really recommend a decent B-vitamin complex as it'll give you some energy each morning - really helped me in the beginning. Doesn't take away the anxiety but certainly helps you feel 'alive'.

Sparkle - nothing wrong with going back on citalopram, it sounds like you weren't quite ready to come off. If memory serves me right when i came off it it took about 9 months of stepping down before i could finally stop taking them so if a long process. I understand why you would be scared of coming off them again but cross that bridge when you come to it!

After careful consideration I actually turned down the job at John Lewis, still wondering if it was the right thing to do but I have a tendency to say yes to everything and then overwhelm myself so this time I took a step back and looked at all my current responsibilities and whether I actually had enough time and energy to work there too and i think it would have been a bit too much. It's hard putting myself first but i'm slowly learning how important it is!

MrAndy
27-08-13, 10:13
well done for making progress,keep fighting the fight !