chasingdogma
22-08-13, 15:15
Not new to anxiety. I've always had issues with anxiety going back as far as my teens. I have a habit of bottling up stress and anxiety until I hit a breaking point. Then it impacts my health and I fall into the health anxiety spiral. I was diagnosed with GAD back in 2011 after I went to see my GP absolutely convinced I had colon cancer. That spell lasted about a month and then I quickly got better for several years. This summer, I began stressing over financial and family issues to the point where I got myself sick again. First I was concerned about lymphoma (in my head a logical extension of the colon cancer). My GP instantly reassured me that I was healthy and suffering from anxiety. He put me on Celexa and advised me to seek therapy. I attended my first therapy session a week ago today, and my next is at the end of the month. I would like to say the Celexa is working but I really don't feel that it's kicked in yet (started taking it at the beginning of the month). My current symptoms are mostly muscular in nature. I wake up with an extremely tight neck.... and my muscles seem rigid all over. This creates tension in my forehead and temples pretty much all day. It's not painful, per se, but distracting. The crown of my head is sensitive and my ears have been ringing and are sensitive to sound. I've noticed that when I worry or ruminate about what may be causing these sensations, they get worse or I break into a cold sweat. Thus, I know they are anxiety driven symptoms.
It's very difficult living like this, as it creates difficulties in my relationship with my live-in girlfriend. I feel that she doesn't understand or believe that my issues are real. She actually has a chronic illness (Crohn's) and I feel ashamed that I make such a big deal out of how I am feeling.
I pretty much just want to feel myself again and be able to laugh, love and enjoy everything in life. Up until now, this is the best relationship I've ever had and I feel like I'm destroying it without trying.
It's very difficult living like this, as it creates difficulties in my relationship with my live-in girlfriend. I feel that she doesn't understand or believe that my issues are real. She actually has a chronic illness (Crohn's) and I feel ashamed that I make such a big deal out of how I am feeling.
I pretty much just want to feel myself again and be able to laugh, love and enjoy everything in life. Up until now, this is the best relationship I've ever had and I feel like I'm destroying it without trying.