Sister just mentioned she's feeling anxious

[jayjoe18]

Hi all, so I have a younger sister who is nearly 14 and we were just talking as she just spoke with a relative on the phone but got nervous and said the wrong thing. Nothing to worry about there I think everyone gets a bit nervous on the phone sometimes, but then she went on to say she's becoming more nervous and that she cancelled a trip to the shops with her friend last week because she felt really nervous. She went the next day instead as then she felt guilty. She then told me she's nervous to go to the cinemas next week. She said she gets nervous buying the tickets etc and doesn't know what to say. Is this normal for her age? Part of me thinks maybe it is as she is only young and it wasn't too long ago my mum would accompany her places, now she's more independant so maybe it's just getting used to that independance? But then I'm worried, what if she's getting anxiety like me? I was around her age when it started for me. I know it only starts off small and maybe I'm totally wrong here but I'm slightly worried now she's said this. She's never mentioned anything before and she has lots of friends, loves school, boybands etc. I've mentioned here before that my mum had anxiety, grandma bipolar, my brother is slightly nervous, then there's me but also my sister has another grandma with 'bad nerves'. So the evidence does seem to point to a genetic link. Should I take what she said seriously or am I just reading into it too much?

[Edie]

Part of me thinks it would be normal to suddenly get independence and feel nervous about things. But the fact she's mentioned it suggests she is concerned by her anxieties and doesn't see her friends exhibiting the same feelings. I think she needs a big hug and a conversation to establish how exactly she's feeling. Some support in telling your Mum so she can get the right support early might be a good thing, without rushing her (unless she reveals anything urgent).

[PanchoGoz]

It's a good time to give her a good bit of encouragement and let her know that it will be fun! I was the same that age, except I don't think I realised I was nervous and never used that word so people just thought I was ill. Yes give her some support and talk to her about independence and all that.

[Daisy Sue]

Maybe try and teach her some coping mechanisms, for the unexpected situations she might find herself in when out and about.. like, if she feels vulnerable, where to go/who to ring, to head for say, McDonald's & have a sit down & a drink.. count out the change she'll need before she gets to a ticket counter so there's no panic at the till. Sometimes that's all kids need, a little instruction that they can carry with them for confidence, until it comes naturally.

[Twinset]

I was about 15/16 when my anxiety/hypochondria/panic attacks started. 20 years on I remember my school nurse helping me to work out exit routes and ways to 'escape' situations. I have done 2 courses of CBT so I know safety behaviours like this aren't always the best idea, but sometimes the comfort of knowing the way out/home is enough. I very rarely cancel or avoid social situations but I always have an escape plan or an excuse so that I know I can get home if I want to.

[jayjoe18]

Thanks everyone, I've told my mum and she knew about it a little already because my sister had mentioned a few things to her too. We aren't going to make a big deal of it right now but keeping an eye on things, I hope it's just the normal transitional anxieties.