Hello this is an anxious girl (well 30 year old) speaking

[Petal29]

Hello Everybody,

I find it a bit strange to write this down, speaking to people I never met and actually realizing it is time to sit down and jump over my pride and speak about my fears and worries. I do believe that each of you probably had similar thought of looking into google to find this forum and hope for help from other kind people out here. First to myself. I am a 30 year old girl (you are as old as you feel right) who is always up for a laugh and i love to make people smile. I do know that life is a wonderful thing and that i am so blessed to live in a nice and safe enviroment. I have a little boy who is 4 years old. My partner and i are happy and we have been together for nearly 3 years. He is not my child's father but he is the most amazing step-father as you can imagine. So, when you read this I can understand that you might thing... " ok so what do you want on this page if you tell me how great your life is"... well I am anxious. I am scared .. I am scared of letting my son down, i am scared of not being a good mum, i am scared of what people think of me, i am scared of not making enough money to support our family, i am scared of not being good enough.... but mostly i am scared of my partner leaving me or in better words i am scared of being replaced and not being able to be there. It sounds so silly but i am so scared of dying and my partner will get with someone else and forget about me. I am soooo scared my son will grow up without me and who will look after him. I can not think about anything else. To me my partner is the most amazing man and he is so lovely and caring that i can't believe he is with me. I am so blessed to have such a beautiful wee child that i sometimes struggle to put it into words. I am not lying , my son and I had a very hard time financially when his dad and i separated and because I was a student I didn't get any financial support as returned to college at my choice. It was very hard but we came a long way and my partner has always been very supportive to me. I had a health scare a couple of month ago and i could not cope with the idea not being there, being replaced and being forgotton. I panic about little things. In the past I went to councelling as I felt so guilty for not loving my child's father and i know it sounds silly but i needed someone to tell me that i am not a horrible person i just didnt love him. I do not even know what answer i am looking for. Maybe just writing it down. I really hope to meet lovely supportive people on this forum. |I am a very good listener as well and I am hoping to help some new friends.

Thank you very much for your time and support.

Petal29:hugs:

[steveo]

Welcome Welcome Welcome.

Don't be scared! Speaking about our fears and worries has helped all of us here so so much. This is a very friendly place with some fantastic people! It's helped me out so many times!

I'm a similar age to you and I'm currently in a mental health hospital. There is NO pride with being in here at my age or any age but I have felt more than comfortable speaking to people on here about my experiences and feelings rather than my close friends and family. I couldn't be without this place.

I hope you find this website helpful. I wish you all the best .

Steven x

[graham58]

Welcome to NMP Petal! This is a great site with a lot of very supportive and knowledgeable people and has helped me a lot over the years.

I'm sure it can help you too. I can recommend reading some of the articles here as well as posting on the forum and reading people's replies. Just take as much as time as you want, there's no rush.

Best,

Graham .

BTW, I think getting your thoughts down on the page (on paper or on the screen), as you're doing, is a very good idea as you can see them more clearly that way.

[Annie0904]

Hi Petal, welcome to NMP. As a Mum I have had similar fears to you so can understand what you are saying. My husband is also the step father of my children and they couldn't wish for a better father than their step father. My children are now grown up and have their own homes but believe it or not we have come on holiday today and I worried "what if something happens to me...I don't want my cats to be without me" :D I seem to have gone from worrying how would my children cope to worrying about the cats! :doh:

[Daisy Sue]

Hi Petal, & welcome to the forum :)

Similar story here.. lots of struggles, lots of fears & worries - one of them being the fear of anxiety taking hold again & I'm doing my best to not let it!

All I can advise you really is to try and enjoy every day with those who are important to you, don't let yourself waste precious moments worrying about 'what if'. None of us know what's round the corner, but we have each new day to make worthwhile.

[roxy46]

Welcome petal. I'm 32 and have all those fears too. It's awful we know we have everything and should be thankful, but you just can't enjoy it because of all the worries. I think everyone worries about these things at some point, but most people can rationalise it and put it away to the back of their minds. We go over and over the thoughts without ever resolving anything. It's not healthy! Have you spoken to your gp? You don't have to go it alone and the people on this site will definitely be here when you need them x