Severe health anxiety with cancer phobia!

[roseyposey]

Hi this is my first post after reading posts on this forum for months.

I have always taken pain killers for headaches since i was around 8 and i think i was only getting them in the end as a result of the tablets. My grandad also died in 2007 when i was around 7 due to a brain hemorage and as i knew he had a headache i remember thinking i had a brain tumour every time i got a headache past this point. It wasnt a massive problem as the thought was there but i never let it bother me. I did also have dreams of dying and my own funeral for years when i was younger.

Anyway, about 2 months ago i had an anxiety attack which to me came as a surprise i rang 999 and thought i was dying which is not like me as i hate the doctors. I had a headache and took some tablets which id not taken before which were a kind of ibuprofen and i thought i was having an allergic reaction. Anyway a week later it happened again but after this one my face was numb and i convinced myself i had a brain tumour.

I have a 1 year old son and i work full time shifts and have done since he was 6 months old as well as my partner working full time shifts. Since then i have had constant feelings of being ill such as headaches, numbness, burning sensations in my head and scalp, nausea, symptoms of brain cancer, breast cancer, bowel cancer, throat cancer, back ache, DVT, MS, thyroid cancer among other things...its a nightmare. I cant stand to be alone, had to stay at my grans for a week (with my son and partner) as i couldnt face going home to my own house!

I have been to the doctors so many times and now feel so stupid as he only seems interested in telling me there is nothing physically wrong with me apart from anxiety. I have out weight on as i have been eating badly and stopped going to the gym and i know this can cause discomfort but i am finding it very difficult to believe that anxiety can give me symptoms that feel very real to me.

i do have a family history of anxiety problems but i need help! Ive been referred for CBT but my appointment hasnt come through yet and im getting worse every day

[stuartyd]

Hi Rosie

I too have similar problems to yourself. I think when you become a parent and have someone who depends on you, the anxiety of leaving your child alone is the scariest thing in the world and, unfortunately, this can lead to your mind playing tricks on you.
CBT will help you understand that what you are feeling is no more than a thought and not a reality.
You don't have to wait for your appointment to make a start btw. There are lots of guides and examples on the web which you can try on your own.
I hope you start feeling better soon :)

[DarkWy]

Dear Rosie,
I have similar issues to you as well. Just know that you're not alone and there are communities like this one to help you get through this rough time in your life. I know it seems awful, but you must think that the real chances of you having cancer are very slim and that GOOGLE is NOT your friend. Google cannot diagnose you, only a doctor can. I'd very strongly advise that you take the advice of your doctor over Dr. Google. Also, read the doctor google thread at the head of the forum. It will make you feel better. :)