View Full Version : Not wanting to let go of thoughts that cause worry
Does anyone else feel somewhat anxious about letting go of their thoughts that make them get anxiety in the first place?
I know it sounds a little strange but in some ways I don't want to let go of my thoughts and fears because I have always had them and if I relaxed too much then something bad might happen. As though my anxiety protects me in some way.
How weird, we were just talking about this in my group this morning. I was saying it is odd how we are happy to go to get anything else sorted out, but a lot of people (me in the past) see being a Worrier as their identity.
Of course it's irrational to think it works that way. I gave the example of worrying for over thirty years that Dad, a travelling salesman, would die on the road. He retired and ten years later died of an illness. What a fecking waste of time eh?? Thirty years of filling my system with adrenaline... sheesh!!! :doh:
sambomonkee
27-08-13, 12:36
Yes, that's how I feel as well, I think its all part of it TBH. I have a meeting with the Mental Health team tomorrow, and for some reason I am trying to make myself worse with anxiety so that I feel justified in seeing them (looney!!!)
I think its actually just part of the problem Ie intrusive, repetitive thought patterns that cause it, plus the fear of if your not concentrating on it, it might actually happen.
I sure CBT is the way forward in solving these bizarre ways of thinking.
It's like not wanting to be caught off guard. Weird thing.
Yeah :(
You want to let go but are afraid if you be happy something bad will happen.
It's just another thing that keeps us in this perpetual downward spiral that is anxiety. It's just one more thing for us to overcome.
Stay strong!
xvolatileheart
27-08-13, 23:58
I absolutely feel this way. Whenever I catch myself feeling "normal" or not thinking my obsessive thoughts, I start to feel anxious. It's like I'm so used to worrying that feeling normal is incredibly uncomfortable. I guess that's our brains tricking us - it's like the devil on your shoulder saying "you need these obsessive thoughts, they keep you safe, you can't survive without them." I desperately want and need to break the cycle but I don't know how.
When you think about it, it's really not that weird. It's sounds similar to co-dependency. Often, a co-dependent relationship is destructive to both individuals involved but it's the only thing they know and despite the unhealthiness of the situation, they need it and maintain a certain level of comfort being in it.
I imagine it's much the same with anxiety. If you've suffered with it for a long period of time it becomes a part of who you are and living without it would take you out of the comfort zone that you've come to know and are used to despite how destructive it is.
"T"
Yes exactly. Something about being anxious 'works' for us, or we wouldn't do it. It is that simple! And that hard... :unsure:
Thanks...I guess I'm not alone in this. I do laugh at myself sometimes for worrying about not being worried :doh:
"If you've suffered with it for a long period of time it becomes a part of who you are and living without it would take you out of the comfort zone that you've come to know and are used to despite how destructive it is"- really sums it up doesn't it!
I sometimes think that by not worrying I'm ignoring a serious issue
Oh I really find it hard letting go of my thoughts. I am trying to start using Mindfulness to help with this. I feel as if, were I to let the thoughts go.... Then I would be "missing out" somehow. I know in my heart that this is not helping me but still I seem to persist in doing it. I am making headway bit its early days. I have had many of these habits & thoughts for as long as I can remember. You are talking a long time. I don't know how long you have been troubled by this but keep at it. If you are mindful of what is going on and recognise when the habit is triggered, if you can try to stop the negative thoughts escalating downwards, that helps. It's like putting the brakes on a ball bearing going down a helter skelter. It can be done but slowing down the momentum can take time. Stick at it!!! I am interested in the subject and would be Glad to know how you are getting on. Oh, my counsellor made a good point ..... She asked me "if you weren't spending time on these thoughts, what positive things would you put that additional energy towards?".....
yes...i try to keep it in perspective but you get so used to worrying its almost like having an arm or a leg and can't imagine not having it. I tell my brain to give it a rest sometimes and say to myself "ok that is enough, now we are going to think about something else", doesn't always work but its something.
Its so hard to stop something that has been with you all your life- at the doctors the other day when he asked how long I had been suffering from anxiety, it felt really strange saying that its been with me all my life yet at the same time it was liberating and felt like an epiphany all at the same time.
kennethman1
05-09-13, 12:33
yeah it's like if i'm happy or laughing the thought of being anxious comes back into my head
Adam Thompson
05-09-13, 22:39
If im not worrying i feel guilty somehow, like i should be worrying about all the problems that are going on in my life. If i try to not worry i feel i am doing something wrong
I think we form habits in our mind, and habits can be difficult to break out of. They can also be kind of comforting, in a weird way, as terrible as they make you feel. It's difficult to start thinking in a new way, it can be scary in itself.
I've been feeling like that a lot as well recently. I just want to get rid of my thoughts, but I'm so used to thinking them now, that it's hard to get out of the habit. It's like a default that my mind switches back to. The hypnotherapist that I went to said that part of beating these thoughts involves finding a new path through your mind.
This suddenly reminded me of that old method of catching monkeys, with the peanut in the jar:the monkey reaches through the neck of the jar and grabs the nut, won't let go and is trapped... If only he would just release that peanut...
Geddit? :)
Wow...
Thought it was just me, it's almost like I go looking for triggers to test myself, which is a bit of a downward spiral....
so............... I've had things bothering me for two or three weeks & saw my counsellor yesterday. These things came up in conversation. It does leave me feeling rather vulnerable & "stuff" tends to round in my head more than usual. Which of course is the nature of discussing these things. Ultimately for a bit of shorter-term disfomfort, in the longer-term it is part of getting shot of all this stuff that bothers me.
So, this morning, I'm sitting at work, still bothered by some of it. I feel rather anxious & could do with a lovely hug from someone. Not really something I can get at work, so instead, what did I do? I visited NMP to "talk" to some of my friends. here I am a while later.... feeling much better. Distration. That's what did it. I got my mind busy on something else. Now, feeling much better I shall get stuck back into my work. That's why NMP is so great and I highly recommend DISTRACTION if you are bothered by thoughts. The thoughts might still remain, they might come back later. But, right now I am dealing with it. byeeeee.
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