Need help please! Feeling completely stuck

[TheScript]

I just turned 24 and finished college for graphic design last year. I live at home with my parents atm. My brother and sister have moved out. I was gonna move out this week too, to get a bachelor in Oriental languages and communication (Chinese). But i pulled back because my panic and anxiety have been so terrible lately. So i will not be studying Chinese for 4 years, it's a really hard study and i didn't think i could do it with this much anxiety. But i think i just let fear get to me. I feel like such a LOSER right now.

I have no job, no friends. I have a degree but there are no jobs at all near the area were i live. Also, there are no people my age around here. I feel lonely, all my friends moved to cities. I live sort of in the middle of nowhere, with my parents and noone of my age. The last few months i've just been sitting at home on my laptop at my parents house, which i know isn't a good thing to do for someone healthy at my age. My self esteem couldn't be worse atm. I feel completely stuck, i just want to cry. I have no idea what to do.. How am i ever going to get myself out of this.. :weep:

Many thanks to whoever reads all of this and can maybe give me some advice or has been through the same?

[Leem]

I felt something similar when I moved to the area I am in now (which is out in the sticks a bit). I have had very low confidence and self esteem on top of not knowing anyone in my local area or having a job to meet people (still looking).

Could you not go and visit a friend in the city? (you mentioned friends have moved to the city). Just hang out for a few days? Have a few laughs etc.. I suggest this because, although nerve racking, it'll break the daily cycle. You may see things are not as bad as you thought they would be. The problem is when we have anxiety is that we vastly underestimate our ability to deal with situations. When really, you are powerful! Things are never as bad as they seem, they only seem that way because we think them. But thoughts are nothing but little pulses in our heads that really are empty. Most of them dont make sense or are worth paying attention to at all! The scary monster is a little mouse in all reality.

Another option is volunteering. I volunteer right now for a charity using some old professional qualifications that I have to help people. Its great because you can decide when you come and go plus you will get to help people, have contact with the world at your own pace (plus update the old CV). Try it, anywhere near, people always need your help. It will help you brush up on communication skills and trust me will help you in sooo many ways on top of helping others. I bricked it the first few weeks, so anxious, now I lead meetings with management! It can be done, I have done it. Just got to grit your teeth a bit and not let it control you, control it.

On the subject of control (ish) I also meditate, something I wouldn't have considered years back but it has taught me that you are never truly alone. There are beautiful things in life, like animals, trees etc.. to enjoy. You are never alone. You interact on here anyway, we are talking, you are not alone! Try meditation, its great for helping you get to grips with all those negative thoughts that arise. A few good books out there were written by Ricard Matthieu.

Hope that makes sense and helps a little!! :)