badasafish
29-08-13, 10:55
Hello everyone, I just found this site through Google and thought I would introduce myself. I've suffered from anxiety for over 10 years now and it has really screwed up my career on a couple of occasions and negatively affected my relationships. The illness has completely eaten away my self confidence, so even when I was feeling OK I couldn't shake the fear that I was just a moment away from going backwards. This fear just made me avoid anything in my work or personal life that had potential worries attached (which is just about everything).
I've had therapy in the past (psychodynamic and a bit of CBT) and although I understand a lot more about myself and my thoughts I don't feel that this therapy has changed the anxious thoughts that fester and ultimately destroy.
I was on Fluoxetine (60mg) for a long period of time and felt that I was doing OK, but my therapist at the time convinced me it would be beneficial to slowly come off the drugs and to be able to explore my feelings with her. After being off the drugs completely for 6 months I have crashed, my anxiety overwhelmed me, causing me to resign from my job and to revert to my avoiding type. My doctor has put me back on the drugs and I've been taking them for a couple of weeks now (40mg currently).
Now this situation was bad enough, but the real kicker is that my girlfriend of 4 years has told me that although she loves me she doesn't think she can deal with me and baggage. I love her and want to be with her forever so this is just destroying me, and the fact that it is my illness that is chasing her away just makes me hate and resent myself even more. I'm in a really bad place at the moment and just wanted to reach out for some company, compassion, support or whatever the community can offer me.
Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
I've had therapy in the past (psychodynamic and a bit of CBT) and although I understand a lot more about myself and my thoughts I don't feel that this therapy has changed the anxious thoughts that fester and ultimately destroy.
I was on Fluoxetine (60mg) for a long period of time and felt that I was doing OK, but my therapist at the time convinced me it would be beneficial to slowly come off the drugs and to be able to explore my feelings with her. After being off the drugs completely for 6 months I have crashed, my anxiety overwhelmed me, causing me to resign from my job and to revert to my avoiding type. My doctor has put me back on the drugs and I've been taking them for a couple of weeks now (40mg currently).
Now this situation was bad enough, but the real kicker is that my girlfriend of 4 years has told me that although she loves me she doesn't think she can deal with me and baggage. I love her and want to be with her forever so this is just destroying me, and the fact that it is my illness that is chasing her away just makes me hate and resent myself even more. I'm in a really bad place at the moment and just wanted to reach out for some company, compassion, support or whatever the community can offer me.
Thanks for taking the time to read my story.