Hi all, I'm Stephen

[badasafish]

Hello everyone, I just found this site through Google and thought I would introduce myself. I've suffered from anxiety for over 10 years now and it has really screwed up my career on a couple of occasions and negatively affected my relationships. The illness has completely eaten away my self confidence, so even when I was feeling OK I couldn't shake the fear that I was just a moment away from going backwards. This fear just made me avoid anything in my work or personal life that had potential worries attached (which is just about everything).

I've had therapy in the past (psychodynamic and a bit of CBT) and although I understand a lot more about myself and my thoughts I don't feel that this therapy has changed the anxious thoughts that fester and ultimately destroy.

I was on Fluoxetine (60mg) for a long period of time and felt that I was doing OK, but my therapist at the time convinced me it would be beneficial to slowly come off the drugs and to be able to explore my feelings with her. After being off the drugs completely for 6 months I have crashed, my anxiety overwhelmed me, causing me to resign from my job and to revert to my avoiding type. My doctor has put me back on the drugs and I've been taking them for a couple of weeks now (40mg currently).

Now this situation was bad enough, but the real kicker is that my girlfriend of 4 years has told me that although she loves me she doesn't think she can deal with me and baggage. I love her and want to be with her forever so this is just destroying me, and the fact that it is my illness that is chasing her away just makes me hate and resent myself even more. I'm in a really bad place at the moment and just wanted to reach out for some company, compassion, support or whatever the community can offer me.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story.

[MrAndy]

Hello you will get good support here,,stay positive and strong ,time will heal.

Good luck

[jonathan1985]

hi mate :) welcome to no more panic,your story sounds scarily like my life has at certain points,im currently in a mess and feel I need meds to take the edge off all this worry,i feel its destroying me,its a stuggle to shake it,your not alone on this one and it would be good to chat sometime and see if we can help each other,i too have a girlfriend and worried sick of losing her because this stupid illness,im also hardly working at the moment as when I think about going to work my anxiety increases,its tough but I hope one day all our lives will be anxiety free,well at least to a normal persons standards! look forward to hearing from you and all the best mate...I know its difficult but chin up :)

[badasafish]

hi mate :) welcome to no more panic,your story sounds scarily like my life has at certain points,im currently in a mess and feel I need meds to take the edge off all this worry,i feel its destroying me,its a stuggle to shake it,your not alone on this one and it would be good to chat sometime and see if we can help each other,i too have a girlfriend and worried sick of losing her because this stupid illness,im also hardly working at the moment as when I think about going to work my anxiety increases,its tough but I hope one day all our lives will be anxiety free,well at least to a normal persons standards! look forward to hearing from you and all the best mate...I know its difficult but chin up :)

Hi Jonathan, thanks for taking the time to read my story and reply. Sorry to hear that you are struggling also. I'd love to speak to you more, let me know how.

[Speranza]

:welcome:

[littlemisschatterbox]

Its such a debilitating illness, sending you both hugs and hoping you find some help x

[jonathan1985]

welcome to no more panic mate :) hope you find it as helpful as I am,everyone here is great and very friendly :)

[missfishlash]

You are in the right place here, everyone is so supportive :)

[_amy_]

hi Stephen im amy and im 21. I also have severe anxiety like you and im finding it very hard to hold down my job :weep: its destroying my life and now my r'ship of 4 years has ended I feel 100 percent worse . how are you coping lately?

[badasafish]

Hi Amy, sorry to hear that you are having a tough time, you definitely have my empathy. I think being back on the drugs is helping me drag myself back off the canvas, I've been trying to keep active going for walks, swimming and have started jogging for the last couple of days. I figure healthy body, healthy mind.

I'm still very down / worried over my relationship situation and I'm meeting my gf on Friday to discuss the situation. I'm trying to stay in a positive frame of mind, but I'm terrified of what she is going to say and the impact that will have on me.

Are you on any medication and are you having any therapy? I'd love to chat sometime, take care and hang in there.

[I'mdave27]

Anxiety is the modern plague that most of the population is suffering with but there is hope because it then means you are not alone , fear not.

[Lisa.w1979]

Hey stephen

First of all....:hugs:

Anxiety is a debilitating disorder which unfortunately has to be experienced to be understood. Thats why this forum is so good, we all know, to some degree, how you feel, some will know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time at the moment, but like others have said....you're not alone here, and there is hope. xxx

[ninnie]

Hi stephen
Keep taking the pills buddy! There is light at the end of the tunnel. Been there made it out the other side. Although I am currently taking a bit of re-visit........grrrrrrr
This is my first day on the site and I think its a pretty good place to share your feelings with people who are as bonkers as you! ;-)xxx