Alliwantistobenormal
30-08-13, 00:32
Hi
so I have had these two softish little pea sized swollen nodes on my neck for the last 4-5 years. My head tells me there from my bout of gulandular fever still in me and everything else tells me its Cancer. Whilst my anxiety tells me its cancer the docs and the tinest sane part of my left tell me its fine they have been there so long.
3 months ago however my colleagues wife got the mumps when I asked what mumps do he said made your glands on the side of your neck hard and swollen. Low and behold I checked my glands since its so contagious and I came across a hard quite large lump. I poked and prodded for 3 months it started to get achey and I told myself I need to get this checked this could be serious which kind of put my other two tiny nodes into perspective I found myself wishing they were my only problem. So anyway went to the doc and he said he couldn't feel a lump but the muscles felt swollen. He said it could be a lump which he can't feel under my muscle or it is just the muscle which is swollen from my prodding. He told me not to touch it and gave me an ultra sounds referral to use if its not gone in two weeks.
My mind is now playing tricks, I haven't touched it for a whole week (an achievement for someone who has done so every day for 4 years) now however I think I can feel it aching. I feel like my head is saying were not letting you get over this anxiety if you won't touch it we shall find another way :(
Sorry to bore you but its a constant battle between my anxiety and my mind :(
so I have had these two softish little pea sized swollen nodes on my neck for the last 4-5 years. My head tells me there from my bout of gulandular fever still in me and everything else tells me its Cancer. Whilst my anxiety tells me its cancer the docs and the tinest sane part of my left tell me its fine they have been there so long.
3 months ago however my colleagues wife got the mumps when I asked what mumps do he said made your glands on the side of your neck hard and swollen. Low and behold I checked my glands since its so contagious and I came across a hard quite large lump. I poked and prodded for 3 months it started to get achey and I told myself I need to get this checked this could be serious which kind of put my other two tiny nodes into perspective I found myself wishing they were my only problem. So anyway went to the doc and he said he couldn't feel a lump but the muscles felt swollen. He said it could be a lump which he can't feel under my muscle or it is just the muscle which is swollen from my prodding. He told me not to touch it and gave me an ultra sounds referral to use if its not gone in two weeks.
My mind is now playing tricks, I haven't touched it for a whole week (an achievement for someone who has done so every day for 4 years) now however I think I can feel it aching. I feel like my head is saying were not letting you get over this anxiety if you won't touch it we shall find another way :(
Sorry to bore you but its a constant battle between my anxiety and my mind :(