god im so tired with this

[worried 101]

well my holiday was complete an utter nightmare.
i had to come home early because i was such a mess.
feel like utter crap.
have started seeing a counsellor(first session was yesterday) and as i was talking and thought Jesus Christ im proper crazy.
does anyone feel like physical pain when they go through depresion and anxiety?like your stomach is twisted and you just feel like every fibre of your body is hurting?
urgh just in such a low mood and feel helpless.
someone please cheer me up!

[cokesmyth5]

I feel for you. Holidays and Christmas I think are just awful if you have anxiety/dep. The pressure to appear to be enjoying yourself is horrible.
I can remember physical pain in depression, definitely. I also remember feeling temporarily worse after a counselling session, after dredging up painful stuff, even though the counsellor would not leave me wallowing in misery. It slowly got better and better again as I processed the contents of the sessions. The cliché "no pain no gain" applies here. The meds are the sticking plasters, the counselling/CBT go down to the roots. Be sure to tell the counsellor how you feel - I guess he/she should ask anyway?!
Don't feel guilty about a holiday. Not your fault that you are not well right now. There will be other holidays. Now it's time to be selfish and do everything you can to be well again. Take care

[worried 101]

cheers cokesmyth. thanks for some positive news!
the counsellor is really good and ive heard that you do tend to feel crappy after counselling sessions at first but they do get better.
its just hard when you are in the moment at the time and all you want to do is run away somewhere and scream your head off!
my partner was trying to plan a suprise break away and i found out and totally freaked.how weird does that sound?!
my partner tries to do something really nice and i just couldn't handle the idea of 'going away' so instead we are going to do some days trips around where we live but i just get so frustrated with myself.

[Annie0904]

I was the same this time last year, hardly left my bedroom and crying every day. One year on and I am on holiday and although a little anxious about being away from home. I am enjoying it. I even managed to get to Croatia in May. Keep thinking positive thoughts...things will get better.:hugs:

[millielaura]

I definitely feel all sore and achy to my stomach when my panic disorder is bad!

[dally]

Counselling really does help, but it can knock the stuffing out of you.
Going over your 'problems' is sole destroying, ESP if you feel depressed.
But I assure you, as you rehabilitate and recover from this bout of depression, you WILL look back and say the counselling was worth it.
it was a nice idea from your partner, and shows he cares. However, Day trips are an excellent idea at this stage, a holiday in the future, when you are ready is something to look forward to. explain to your partner that you need to be consulted on 'big' things like that. People who do not have mental health issues, sometimes find it hard to fathom us!!
ESP if we CAN do things on our GOOD days, then are horrified by th same activity on ur bad days.
I understand your frustration. It's part of anxiety.

[worried 101]

Cheers for the replies guys and the kind words.
Sometimes the anxiety gets so bad that i just cant see any positivity and i know ive got tp but just cant muster up the energy to do that.
Sometines lifebjust seems so bleak and even though the councelling will help its an hour a week and then have to cope the rest of the time feeling like crap.
I feel like a selfish person,ive got a great support network and i know alot of people dont have that bit nothing is bringing me out of this depression atm.

[worried 101]

oh man i feel so empty:weep:

[Eyji1]

Christmas and new years for me was spent in bed. Being around people was just way too much and would send me into panic.

I hurt all over when I'm depressed for a long time. Especially when I'm stressed on top of that.