makka pakka

[harrys mummy]

I brought my little boy a £15 talking makka pakka today, £15!!!!!!!

Why? So it will be something to remember me by when this lump which im convincd is breast cancer kills me, his daddy can tell him mummy brought you that

How awful

How awful that if I die now he wont even remember his mummy and how I love him so very very much

Sorry guys needed to off load xx

[Munchlet]

Firstly you are not going to die.

In the worst case scenario that it was breast cancer (which I don't think for one minute it is) it's very treatable.

You are obviously vigilant and you have noticed it early so if it was anything it would be easier to treat.

Now that's the negative part over. If (which it's not) it was breast cancer the redness wouldn't go would it? Breast cancer doesn't partially get better it gets worse, so the redness would surely be getting bigger?

There may still be a lump but it's probably the infection still clearing. Think about a spot or a boil, even when you squeeze it and manage to get the majority of the pus out you still have a lump for a while whilst the pores heal and shrink back to normal.

Now in your case you haven't been able to squeeze it so all the infected stuff is still there and it takes a while for it to be reabsorbed back into your body.

I only say this because I had a sebaceous cyst on my breast once and the redness went but the actual lump took a few months to completely go because I never actually manged to get anything out of it and it didn't drain. When I saw the doctor she said it will go but it takes quite a while for the stuff in it to be reabsorbed by the body.

I honestly don't think it's anything sinister, I know it's hard for you to see that at the moment but it wouldn't partially heal if it was breast cancer.

Take care and try to stop beating yourself up like this, you'll be there to see your little boy grow up just wait and see :yesyes:

PS My little boy is called Harry, (Great name) x

[harrys mummy]

Thank you so much munchlet your post made me feel calmer just reading it, I really hope your right x

---------- Post added at 21:23 ---------- Previous post was at 21:19 ----------

Munchlet did your doctor send you to a breast specialist? Xx

---------- Post added at 21:24 ---------- Previous post was at 21:23 ----------

Harry is the best name ever xx

[Fishmanpa]

"How awful"

You're right! What a horrible thing to think and say!

With all due respect, STOP IT! You don't have breast cancer! If you do, I'll personally fly over the pond so you can tell me to my face "Told ya so"! This is what?.... the 5th thread you've started on this subject?

The only reason little Harry won't have a Mum is because she's spending all her time Googling breast cancer symptoms and posting her fears on a website! If you're so concerned you won't be here for your son, then get off the freakin' computer and spend some time with him. Play with the Makka Pakka you bought him, take him for a walk or read him The Cat in the Hat for goodness sakes!

I understand what HA does to you but wake up and smell the coffee! It's your HA that's taking you away from your son, not breast cancer! Now grow a pair and do something about it!

Off load over!

[nomorepanic]

I have 3 friends/people I know alive and well with breast cancer but YOU do not have it anyway so please stop stressing over it

[harrys mummy]

That told me!

[nomorepanic]

Yup we are being realistic with you !

[AuntieMoosie]

Hun whilst I understand your fear, and we all have them, indeed that's why we're all here on NMP, let me try and help you rationalise what's happening :)

You have got yourself to the point of obsession now where your fear has literally taken over. It's all very easy to get obsessed with something, trouble is, it's damned hard to then break it :)

I think what you need is a little distraction. How about trying this little exercise.

Every time you have a scary thought about breast cancer, or you get the urge to go visit Dr Google, start immediately to distract yourself by doing something fun with your little boy, you've bought him a lovely new toy so instead of thinking of that in a negative way, because you're not going to die, turn it into something positive and have a fun and happy time :)

Keep repeating this every time you get the scary thoughts, always replace them with doing something really nice that you will enjoy.

My children are both now grown up, and let me tell you, it goes like a shot, one minute they're babes in arms and the next they're adults!!

You have a lovely little boy, enjoy every minute of him whilst he's still young because you wont get those precious years back ever, once they're gone, they're gone.

I know and fully understand how hard it is to change the way we think about things, but hun, life is just too short to be getting taken over by a fear like this :)

Try and have a go at doing that little exercise, it will help you hun. Maybe go and have a chat with your doctor and ask them to refer you for CBT or do an online CBT. That will also help you in a couple of ways. It will distract you as you'll be thinking about your CBT and it will teach you new ways of thinking :)

I think every Mum on this earth has a little worry or fear that they may die leaving their children, I know I did too, but what's happened here is that the fear has taken over because it's not being challenged, but that can change hun :)

Life is for living and enjoying, your little boy needs you now, he wants to have a happy Mummy, remember his childhood will be his adult memories, so make them happy ones for him hun :hugs: :bighug1:

[Munchlet]

Hi

No my doctor didn't send me to a breast specialist. She is our well woman doctor at our surgery and has years of experience and I really trust her.

It's strange with my HA sometimes I am actually able to listen and trust what they say and other times (like when I was convinced I had Cervical Cancer earlier this year) it doesn't matter how many doctors I see I don't listen.

I've just seen your other post this morning I'm sorry that you are feeling so low about this and I haven't seen the other responses you had to your post but some have obviously upset you.

HA is awful and it really sounds at the moment that you are completely caught in the spiral and can't see a way out.

Another thing I wanted to tell you is after my Harry was born I found a lump in my breast, I was exactly how you are now convinced I was dying, saw three different doctors, wouldn't believe them when they weren't worried etc.

I spent weeks crying, not eating missing out on time with my baby because I was convinced I was dying. In the end I got referred to the breast clinic, they did an ultrasound and checked it and it was a duct, it dissapeared over a few weeks, I cannot tell you the relief I felt.


So I do understand how you are feeling, the other big thing was my doctor prescribed me fluoxetine and slowly over the weeks the dark clouds started to lift and I finally was able to start enjoying time with my little boy, who is nearly 9 now.

I still have the same worries I think every parent worries they won't be there to see their children grow up but it's worse when you have HA because you constantly think you have a terminal illness.

I'm not saying medication is the answer but it might be worth you seeing your doctor to see if there is something you can have just to calm your anxiety, it certainly helped me.

Sorry for the long post just wanted you to know you are not alone and people do care and relate to how you are feeling.