roady
31-08-13, 22:49
Hi all,
It's been a little bit since I posted. I have been having some trouble... I've been trying my best with CBT for my panic, and I think it has helped. However, I think I am becoming depressed from ongoing health troubles. I have been housebound for a little over 2 months with an illness I don't quite understand. I have a lot of fatigue, cough, belching, and just general intestinal discomfort. Mostly GERD-like symptoms, but very severe, despite medication. My doc has referred me to a GI specialist, but I'm still waiting for that to go through (it's only been about a week, though, time just feels like it's passing very slowly lately).
I have been doing better, and have been able to help around the house. I do some work online to try and help out, but thankfully my partner is able to support us. He has been very kind, and although we've had some struggles with this illness (I used to be very fit and well before), he understands what I'm going through.
I guess my main fear is that I will never be well again. I think maybe this is common with HA? This obsession with being "well" and not "sick" and what if I don't "recover"... This is in my head all the time. Earlier in this illness, when I was sicker and having trouble eating and keeping food down, I felt like I was going to die. I was pretty convinced. I wrote letters to my parents, my partner, and friends and family and saved them on my computer and told my partner to please share them with the intended recipients if I passed away. I don't believe it was ever so dire now, but at the time it really felt that way...
I guess now what's weighing on me is the time. It just feels like ages, although I know that so many folks have chronic conditions their entire lives and make it work. I don't know. Guilt just weighs down on top of all my other worries. Anyway, sorry for the very long post, I just wanted to vent and commiserate with other HA people (as we all do here). Thanks for listening.
It's been a little bit since I posted. I have been having some trouble... I've been trying my best with CBT for my panic, and I think it has helped. However, I think I am becoming depressed from ongoing health troubles. I have been housebound for a little over 2 months with an illness I don't quite understand. I have a lot of fatigue, cough, belching, and just general intestinal discomfort. Mostly GERD-like symptoms, but very severe, despite medication. My doc has referred me to a GI specialist, but I'm still waiting for that to go through (it's only been about a week, though, time just feels like it's passing very slowly lately).
I have been doing better, and have been able to help around the house. I do some work online to try and help out, but thankfully my partner is able to support us. He has been very kind, and although we've had some struggles with this illness (I used to be very fit and well before), he understands what I'm going through.
I guess my main fear is that I will never be well again. I think maybe this is common with HA? This obsession with being "well" and not "sick" and what if I don't "recover"... This is in my head all the time. Earlier in this illness, when I was sicker and having trouble eating and keeping food down, I felt like I was going to die. I was pretty convinced. I wrote letters to my parents, my partner, and friends and family and saved them on my computer and told my partner to please share them with the intended recipients if I passed away. I don't believe it was ever so dire now, but at the time it really felt that way...
I guess now what's weighing on me is the time. It just feels like ages, although I know that so many folks have chronic conditions their entire lives and make it work. I don't know. Guilt just weighs down on top of all my other worries. Anyway, sorry for the very long post, I just wanted to vent and commiserate with other HA people (as we all do here). Thanks for listening.