cally24
01-09-13, 16:48
Hello all,
I don't post very often, I tend to just read from afar and I've noticed that most of my threads are about work! Strangely enough, I'm much more settled at work now, I'm looking for a new job but for different reasons to the ones I had last year.
But isn't it weird how you can settle down one minute, and the next your head is filled with a whole new woe? It's as if my head won't allow me to calm down and relax, I ALWAYS have to have something to worry about.
Well now, it's the situation with my boyfriend. We've been together 6 years and we're very close. We haven't settled into our home yet because of work and while we both have jobs, we work far away from each other. Because of this he lives with his parents during the week and from September we'll only see each other during weekends (he was only working part time last year, so he was only away for 2 nights). I have a lot of anxieties with money, so I know we should count ourselves lucky that we're both in employment. We are looking for a new house closer to his place of work so we can live together (he doesn't drive, his Dad takes him to work). It'll be a slightly longer commute for me (40 miles) but for what it's worth, I want to take the hit. Plus, I'm used to it! Like I've said, I'm looking for a new job anyway.
I've been a nervous wreck this weekend. Over the summer, I've managed to put it to the back of my mind and enjoy our time together, but now I'm overcome with fear, worry and anxiety. I was tipped over the edge last night and I had to go to bed sobbing. He knows I struggle when he's away, but I can't expect him to leave his job for me, and financially it's not feasible. I'm very paranoid too, I worry he's talking to other women, I panic when he doesn't text back in case something has happened, and I get extremely jealous of the fact that he can spend time with his family (my Mum and Dad live over 200 miles away).
Right now, the big hurdle is going back home tomorrow from his parents. Luckily he will be at work (I'm not back until Tuesday) so I think it'll be easier. But the thought of simply driving home on my own is sending me into a blind panic, I'm constantly close to tears and I've lost my appetite. I've planned my day tomorrow - I'm going to go for a run, have a bath, wash my hair, do some work and hopefully tidy the house. But then at night, things get worse. I try and read or distract myself, but the overwhelming sadness and anxiety is so hard to ignore. I don't want to spend my evenings crying and panicking!
It's ridiculous really and I feel so silly. I'm going to see him Wednesday nights and he comes back home Fridays, it's not like he's miles away. I only stay at our house because it's easier for me to get to work. There are people who don't see their partners because they're stationed in Afghanistan or Iraq. My Dad was in the RAF and would spend months away from home, just recently they had to live 300 miles a part when Dad started a new job and they couldn't sell the house. This went on for 2 years! We're in a situation that hopefully will be resolved when we find a house, but any positives that I can think of do nothing to help! It's so frustrating :-(
Is anyone in a similar situation? How do you cope? What do you do when you start to feel anxious?
I don't post very often, I tend to just read from afar and I've noticed that most of my threads are about work! Strangely enough, I'm much more settled at work now, I'm looking for a new job but for different reasons to the ones I had last year.
But isn't it weird how you can settle down one minute, and the next your head is filled with a whole new woe? It's as if my head won't allow me to calm down and relax, I ALWAYS have to have something to worry about.
Well now, it's the situation with my boyfriend. We've been together 6 years and we're very close. We haven't settled into our home yet because of work and while we both have jobs, we work far away from each other. Because of this he lives with his parents during the week and from September we'll only see each other during weekends (he was only working part time last year, so he was only away for 2 nights). I have a lot of anxieties with money, so I know we should count ourselves lucky that we're both in employment. We are looking for a new house closer to his place of work so we can live together (he doesn't drive, his Dad takes him to work). It'll be a slightly longer commute for me (40 miles) but for what it's worth, I want to take the hit. Plus, I'm used to it! Like I've said, I'm looking for a new job anyway.
I've been a nervous wreck this weekend. Over the summer, I've managed to put it to the back of my mind and enjoy our time together, but now I'm overcome with fear, worry and anxiety. I was tipped over the edge last night and I had to go to bed sobbing. He knows I struggle when he's away, but I can't expect him to leave his job for me, and financially it's not feasible. I'm very paranoid too, I worry he's talking to other women, I panic when he doesn't text back in case something has happened, and I get extremely jealous of the fact that he can spend time with his family (my Mum and Dad live over 200 miles away).
Right now, the big hurdle is going back home tomorrow from his parents. Luckily he will be at work (I'm not back until Tuesday) so I think it'll be easier. But the thought of simply driving home on my own is sending me into a blind panic, I'm constantly close to tears and I've lost my appetite. I've planned my day tomorrow - I'm going to go for a run, have a bath, wash my hair, do some work and hopefully tidy the house. But then at night, things get worse. I try and read or distract myself, but the overwhelming sadness and anxiety is so hard to ignore. I don't want to spend my evenings crying and panicking!
It's ridiculous really and I feel so silly. I'm going to see him Wednesday nights and he comes back home Fridays, it's not like he's miles away. I only stay at our house because it's easier for me to get to work. There are people who don't see their partners because they're stationed in Afghanistan or Iraq. My Dad was in the RAF and would spend months away from home, just recently they had to live 300 miles a part when Dad started a new job and they couldn't sell the house. This went on for 2 years! We're in a situation that hopefully will be resolved when we find a house, but any positives that I can think of do nothing to help! It's so frustrating :-(
Is anyone in a similar situation? How do you cope? What do you do when you start to feel anxious?