Dafyddjohndavies
04-09-13, 10:26
Hi folks,
Been a long time since i've used these forums... not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Seem to get out of my anxieties then the monster in my head eventually diggs his claws in a drags me straight back down that extemely slippery slope and I become a zombie again. It takes the light right out of my eyes.
Anyway so i'll give a quick step by step update as to what i've been through in the past year...
Step 1: Easy job, hide from responsibility and anxiety is manageable
Step 2: False sense of security, apply for a new job and get it... YAY!! :yesyes:
Step 3: New Job starts.... I'm in over my head > Anxiety starts to sky rocket
Step 4: Job is very hard and pushes me beyond what I can handle....Shit!
Step 5: Panic everyday in work, feel like im drowning, depression kicks in.
Step 6: Sleep decides to evade me... depressions keeps getting worse
Step 7: Not slept in 3 months... breaking down at work, at home etc.
Step 8: I've had enough! See doc, ask for Antidepressents... doc gives me a sheet to record how I feel... I complete this and realise that I'm clinically depressed and one step away from contemplating suicide (on their sheet)
Step 9: Fluoxetine hit's my system and BOOM!! No side effects other than pure joy!! I actually cried from happiness.. never happened before
Step 10: Feel "NORMAL" for the first time in years and life is amazing.
Step 11: Have many sessions with therapist and feel like im over everything.
Step 12: (6 months on meds and not one issue)
Present Day: Fluoxetine is not working as it used to.. I have had 2 weeks of blips, between feeling great and feeling shit.
WTF?
Is this normal? Do other people experience a blip with these meds? Should I ask for more. My brain goes straight to worst case scenario!! If there was a prize for thinking of the worst possible outcome then I feel I would rank pretty high.
I shit scared that i'm going to go back to that zombie who can't converse with people, and can't concentrate on anything. These meds have become my lifeline. Please tell me other have these blips and it's normal. I'm freaking out a bit...
If you've made it to the end then many thanks for taking the time to read this.. I eagerly await your responses.
Muchos gracias,
Dafydd
Been a long time since i've used these forums... not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Seem to get out of my anxieties then the monster in my head eventually diggs his claws in a drags me straight back down that extemely slippery slope and I become a zombie again. It takes the light right out of my eyes.
Anyway so i'll give a quick step by step update as to what i've been through in the past year...
Step 1: Easy job, hide from responsibility and anxiety is manageable
Step 2: False sense of security, apply for a new job and get it... YAY!! :yesyes:
Step 3: New Job starts.... I'm in over my head > Anxiety starts to sky rocket
Step 4: Job is very hard and pushes me beyond what I can handle....Shit!
Step 5: Panic everyday in work, feel like im drowning, depression kicks in.
Step 6: Sleep decides to evade me... depressions keeps getting worse
Step 7: Not slept in 3 months... breaking down at work, at home etc.
Step 8: I've had enough! See doc, ask for Antidepressents... doc gives me a sheet to record how I feel... I complete this and realise that I'm clinically depressed and one step away from contemplating suicide (on their sheet)
Step 9: Fluoxetine hit's my system and BOOM!! No side effects other than pure joy!! I actually cried from happiness.. never happened before
Step 10: Feel "NORMAL" for the first time in years and life is amazing.
Step 11: Have many sessions with therapist and feel like im over everything.
Step 12: (6 months on meds and not one issue)
Present Day: Fluoxetine is not working as it used to.. I have had 2 weeks of blips, between feeling great and feeling shit.
WTF?
Is this normal? Do other people experience a blip with these meds? Should I ask for more. My brain goes straight to worst case scenario!! If there was a prize for thinking of the worst possible outcome then I feel I would rank pretty high.
I shit scared that i'm going to go back to that zombie who can't converse with people, and can't concentrate on anything. These meds have become my lifeline. Please tell me other have these blips and it's normal. I'm freaking out a bit...
If you've made it to the end then many thanks for taking the time to read this.. I eagerly await your responses.
Muchos gracias,
Dafydd