NE21 worrier
06-09-13, 00:12
Hello everyone,
Sorry for not posting again for a while - just had quite an exhausting week, despite not having achieved much... Now, I say that but here I am posting in the 'Success Stories' thread so something good must have happened, right?
Well, yes - though only after another tough few days earlier this week. On Saturday, I had yet more anticipatory anxiety pre-match (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?p=1207061) but this settled once I got into town and caught up with my friends. I remember writing not so long ago in that linked thread that, as we've got older, we're much more sensible - but, for some reason (possibly, a rare(!) Newcastle win), I drank a lot more than I realised.
On Sunday, I paid for my error BIG TIME - I also suffer from acid reflux and, immediately on waking, almost without choice, I was horribly, horribly ill. This was not so much the problem, really - I had been ill before and knew sleep would ease my self-inflicted predicament. However, the real problem came when anxiety crept in and I stopped trusting my stomach almost altogether again, eating very little (bits of fruit and a few sandwiches) from Sunday morning to Tuesday evening.
Indeed, Tuesday was a truly difficult day as, starting as it did with a very loose bowel movement, I became obsessed with my gut for the day with regular pointless bathroom visits. By Tuesday night, I had a headache and jelly legs - rather unsurprising given how low my blood sugar levels must have been - and thought that Diazepam might be the only way out of this to get relief.
But, also on Tuesday before I settled down to sleep, stomach still tightly knotted, I had a better idea: I listened to Claire Weekes' audio and I returned to a couple of chapters in Susan Jeffers' book 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway'. I realised that the only reason why I had temporarily stopped trusting my stomach was because of some catastrophic thinking arising from that exceptional event on Sunday. I was also too impressed by my symptoms and making them worse.
It was too late to do anything about it on Tuesday - but, on Wednesday, I woke up and had some fruit for breakfast and then had lunch and dinner at their proper time for the first time since the weekend. The same for what is now yesterday (Thursday). The tight stomach is gone as I write this and, even though I still get some morning anxiety in anticipation of the day ahead - and I have yet more work to do on that, I have noticed it is having less and less effect on my routine.
So, a work in progress then perhaps, rather than an outright success. But, sometimes, it is only via a (self-inflicted) setback that you come to realise just how far you've come.
Thanks for reading,
Peter xx
Sorry for not posting again for a while - just had quite an exhausting week, despite not having achieved much... Now, I say that but here I am posting in the 'Success Stories' thread so something good must have happened, right?
Well, yes - though only after another tough few days earlier this week. On Saturday, I had yet more anticipatory anxiety pre-match (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?p=1207061) but this settled once I got into town and caught up with my friends. I remember writing not so long ago in that linked thread that, as we've got older, we're much more sensible - but, for some reason (possibly, a rare(!) Newcastle win), I drank a lot more than I realised.
On Sunday, I paid for my error BIG TIME - I also suffer from acid reflux and, immediately on waking, almost without choice, I was horribly, horribly ill. This was not so much the problem, really - I had been ill before and knew sleep would ease my self-inflicted predicament. However, the real problem came when anxiety crept in and I stopped trusting my stomach almost altogether again, eating very little (bits of fruit and a few sandwiches) from Sunday morning to Tuesday evening.
Indeed, Tuesday was a truly difficult day as, starting as it did with a very loose bowel movement, I became obsessed with my gut for the day with regular pointless bathroom visits. By Tuesday night, I had a headache and jelly legs - rather unsurprising given how low my blood sugar levels must have been - and thought that Diazepam might be the only way out of this to get relief.
But, also on Tuesday before I settled down to sleep, stomach still tightly knotted, I had a better idea: I listened to Claire Weekes' audio and I returned to a couple of chapters in Susan Jeffers' book 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway'. I realised that the only reason why I had temporarily stopped trusting my stomach was because of some catastrophic thinking arising from that exceptional event on Sunday. I was also too impressed by my symptoms and making them worse.
It was too late to do anything about it on Tuesday - but, on Wednesday, I woke up and had some fruit for breakfast and then had lunch and dinner at their proper time for the first time since the weekend. The same for what is now yesterday (Thursday). The tight stomach is gone as I write this and, even though I still get some morning anxiety in anticipation of the day ahead - and I have yet more work to do on that, I have noticed it is having less and less effect on my routine.
So, a work in progress then perhaps, rather than an outright success. But, sometimes, it is only via a (self-inflicted) setback that you come to realise just how far you've come.
Thanks for reading,
Peter xx