Hi all......

[Si]

hello,

I stumbled across this forum in the hope of some support and possible understanding with help with what I think is a re-occuring condition.

I have been a worrier and anxious since I was around 12 (I am 44 now), I have a succesfull carrear and hold down my job. But over the last 6 -7 years I have had recurring sevre attacks. I thought I was cured but the tingleing in my arm and feelings of dispondancey tell me they are not.

I catastrophise about things I have no control around. Always starts when i'm stressed, then the stress goes, then there will be something on the news , TV or whatever and then it triggers the response, it can be anything from war to global warming etc etc Started when was 12 but became acute around 7 yeasr ago.

Once it hits I get palpatations, adrenaline rushes, I feel a dispondent with imminent doom. I function just but go quiet, I have nightmares.

On 2 previous occasions I was prescribed citalopram, and I have been off it for 3 years and have been fine until last week.

I think the first thing is to accept whats happening to me, I recognise it, i know its not logical. How to deal with the symptoms swicth it off etc is still a mystery. Is it always back to the quacks for drugs ?

My theory is this....

I am normally very logical, I plan work long term and in detail. I am good at it. So I think I get stressed, dont relax and then the brain misfires. So then an event (particularly bad news world wide) then triggers an if this ten this then this then this happens , it will be bad, and I then get panic and fear. I catastrophise. In the worst case 6 years ago it led to depression.

I don't want to go there again.

Anyhow thats my story, if you knew me you never guess how I suffered like this. I feel so weak at times.

Simon

[Moley]

Hello and welcome.
I do hope that you find the help support here that I have.

Also a thought have you ever thought about therapy something like CBT to help you change the way you think and react to things. Just a suggestion if you don't want to go back to pills.

[Speranza]

Hiya, I was just going to ask if your use of the word 'catastrophise' meant you had already tried CBT? If it's something you've read about, it might be well worth actually joining a group. I've just finished a four week course. They didn't tell me anything new but it was a different way to internalise it all. Your GP ought to be able to refer you (I think you can self-refer too) via IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies).

It is free.

[Si]

Hi...

Yes, when I was medicated I had some CBT and have been pretty good for around 5 years off meds, then last couple of weeks its back but I recognise it so I suppose thats a good thing.

I often feel stupid becasue its always really bad things out of my control, apocolyptic kind of stuff, stupid and childish but there none the less. I know that I need to ditsract and focus and it will pass becasue daily life will nearly always catch up is some form or other.

It may be a refresher I need. In the meantime I have started taking Kalms to relieve the symptoms no news or disaster movies. The theory is that if I manage the sysmptoms I know enough for it to pass and life to catch up with me.

I hope thats how it works....

Thanks

Simon

[Apple-pie]

Hi Simon,

Sounds very similar to how my anxiety is, I start imaging all sorts about the weather, floods, wars anything that I have no control over. I had cbt about 8 years ago and it seemed to work. My anxiety has become worse over the last month and I am thinking of going back to my gp.

[Si]

In some respects, I know this sounds bad, there is an element of reassurance that it isn't just me....

We will beat it, that's how I think

[Apple-pie]

In some respects, I know this sounds bad, there is an element of reassurance that it isn't just me....

We will beat it, that's how I think

Your the first personi have come across that has the same issues! Thought it was just me. It's difficult to say to people what your anxious as it does sound ridiculous when I say it out loud!

[Jacsta]

Can you remember much about the cbt you had? Are you doing any of the techniques you learned? If not maybe try and recall what you did that helped, if not speak to your GP about another referral, if another 6 sessions of CBT is all it takes to get you well again its worth a shot eh?

[Si]

I think there are lots of people who are the same to some degree. Mental health is a problem for many reasons but one is because of stigma.

I don't want to go back onto medication. I think that understanding what's happening is the first step.

I had some very good care and treatment in the past and the most important thing I discovered is that the fear and anxiety (which can lead to depression) is a symptom, the brain is misfiring. In my case I always look back and see the signs.... Stress, leading to mood swings and snappiness then something triggers childhood fears, the logic in me stops working and my brain goes into overdrive.

I am seen by others to have a gift for quick thinking and planning, I see this as a curse, because I can think of lots of stuff quickly when the brain is misfiring it jumps to catastrophic conclusions.

I hope that the fact I recognising this is the first step....

My plan from here is to talk to others who understand.
Take kalms
Learn and practice meditation
Avoid "the news", disaster movies, documentaries etc
Focus on family, golf and music

Last resort back to the doctors....

Last I heard there were 17 people in our office (out of 150) on citalopram.... Dunno if there is a trend there

---------- Post added at 10:41 ---------- Previous post was at 10:40 ----------

Can't remember how much can't, more sessions may be good.

[Jacsta]

Sounds like a good plan. Don't be ashamed to ask for help though. I used to be very similar with the catastrophising and things, cbt really helped me understand it better and therefore rationalise and change how I was thinking about things.

My belief is that in a lot of cases medication isn't required. If you can resolve the bad thinking cycle then you are better off. Try to look upon life in a positive light. The steps you are taking are all positive and its good you are trying to find a long term solution than a short term fix.

Good luck