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nomorepanic
06-09-13, 21:59
Hi all

The admin team want to make a few comments/observations/suggestions regarding the use of NMP to try and encourage members to think about the way they use it.

There is quite a lot here to read but we would really appreciate you all taking the time to read it and follow any guidelines that you currently don't or at least appreciate some of the points we are making.


Review your previous posts and the replies

If you create a new thread asking for advice then please make sure you go back and read the replies and respond in some way.

Feeling ignored when you reply to someone is a sure fire way of "getting your back up" and then eventually you just stop replying to that member as you feel advice falls on deaf ears and you never get even a thanks for helping them.

Just one little word says a lot - "Thanks" - that is all you need to say to acknowledge any advice and support you received. If you repeatedly post new threads and never even thank people they will most likely get bored and frustrated and give up replying.

I am seeing this more and more recently with members who appear to just repeatedly create a new thread about the same problem over and over but never even reply to previous threads they created.


"Tea and sympathy" or advice?

If you just want "tea and sympathy" then maybe add to the post that is all that you want. If you want advice then it is down to you to read, digest and act on that advice - not just post the same thing the next day having not even acknowledged that people were trying to help.

If you want advice then you will get a variety of different opinions and no one opinion is right (in most cases) but everyone has a valid point they want to make.


Keep it to one thread

There is no need to create a series of individual new threads. For example:

"I am going for this test tomorrow"
"I am going for this test later today"
"I went for the test" and then
"I got the test results and they are this...."

If you have tests then post the results on the SAME thread. If you create a new one then new members coming along may never know how you got on and what the results were. Keep it all in one thread so we can see what the problem was, what tests you had and the results you got.

Posts will be merged if we feel it is appropriate.


Help yourself

No-one recovered just by sitting around waiting for it to happen. Be proactive! Act on advice given but equally look after yourself. There are loads of tips and advice on the website pages on the left as well - so read them and act on the suggestions.


Dramatic /uninformative subject titles

This has been covered before but we will copy it here again.

Please could Members have a think about the type of titles they are using for threads.

This is for your sake as your choice of title may make a difference to if someone answers your thread or not.

When people look through the 'Active Topic' list they tend to look at the title and make a decision there and then if they have the experience to answer the thread before they even click to read your thread.

It therefore helps if your title lets the reader know about your thread.

There have been quite a few threads recently with titles such as "please Help me" "read this" or just "I need Help"...... These titles although 'dramatic' may tend to get ignored even though the poster needs help.

There are a lot of threads stating things like "I have cancer", "I am going to die", "I have a brain tumour", "I can't live anymore" and these are on the whole untrue, unfounded and just a reaction to a symptom.

Titles saying more about your problem are more likely to get you a reply..... such as "panicking about my headache" or "worried about my Heart tests tomorrow" may get more replies as people with experience who can give advice or help will know what the thread is about.

We will amend titles that are inappropriate.


Post in the relevant forum

Some members seem to think that every post has to be in the Health Anxiety forum. The reason we created many sub-forums was so that you could easily find people with similar experiences and problems.

We will move posts to the correct forum if we feel they are in the wrong place.


Search, read similar threads, take time to use the forum like google!

This informative post shows you how to use the search facility and find similar threads:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=47712

Do you really need to post your question when you can spend some time reading previous replies about the same thing?

For example, there seems little point posting a thread saying "is anyone taking Citalopram?" when there is a sub-forum with 4000 posts of members using Citalopram.

If you want to know what an ECG involves then read the posts in the ECG sub-forum and it is highly likely your questions will be answered.

We know a lot of members like to use Google, well you can search locally on NMP for answers and probably not scare yourself half to death with what you read!


"Bump up" threads do not repost

If your post didn't get any replies then simply "bump it up". You do not need to post an entire new thread.

Bumping up simply means posting again on it so it will appear on the active topics list again. Just add a comment such as "bump" or "still looking for help on this".

We will merge posts about the same thing.


Medical Advice

If any medical advice is given on a thread then it is your choice if you follow that advice. Any medical advice given is not associated with NMP and we are NOT responsible IF you choose to follow advice. We strongly suggest that the only medical advice you follow is from that of a medically trained professional.


Give and Take

NMP is a community and by joining you become part of that.

It doesn't take 5 minutes to have a quick look around the forum and see if anyone else could do with some support. If you are not very good at giving advice then read the HUGS forum or the SUCCESS stories or post just a simple "hi and welcome" to a new member on the INTRODUCE YOURSELF forum.


Chat Room (and the No More Panic Facebook Page)

These are just an extension of NMP itself so please remember that the same rules apply for those as for NMP itself and breaking of the rules will not be tolerated.

The rules for the chat room can be read on the log in screen for chat, please make sure you aware of these before entering the room.

The chat room moderators are there to ensure the safe and smooth running of the chat room, please respect decisions made by them and if they ask you to stop a specific behaviour then please do so.

moderators are able to warn/freeze/kick and ban a member in the chat room.


Contact Us Emails

Nicola replies to all "Contact Us" emails (unless they are obvious spam/advertising etc). Please make sure you check your spam/junk folder for her reply. It would also be nice if you let her know if she helped with your query as she rarely hears back or even get a simple "thanks for the help".


***edit***

Use of Acronyms

Please can members remember that not all other members know what specific Acronyms mean. Feel free to use them in your threads but please add at least one full version of the acronym into it to then people will know what it is and can respond and give advice if they can.

Thank You taking time to read this and we hope you can take something from what we have said.

Kells81
06-09-13, 22:20
Couldn't agree more about all of this!

Thanks for the great way you and the admins run the site xx

MRS STRESS ED
06-09-13, 22:31
I totally agree thankyou :D

Tessar
06-09-13, 22:40
Excellent!!

AuntieMoosie
06-09-13, 22:43
A brilliant post and very well said :yesyes:

Many thanks :D

nomorepanic
07-09-13, 00:20
Thank You ladies for appreciating what we are trying to do here.

Speranza
07-09-13, 00:34
Thank you Nicola, really clear post. Many thanks to you and the Admins. :)

Fishmanpa
07-09-13, 01:13
Very well said Nicola! Especially the part about helping yourself. No doctor, test or amount of advise and support will do any good unless the individual acts on it. That not only goes for anxiety related issues but for life in general.

Tessar
07-09-13, 08:06
Very well said Nicola! Especially the part about helping yourself. No doctor, test or amount of advise and support will do any good unless the individual acts on it. That not only goes for anxiety related issues but for life in general.
I really couldn't agree more.

Snoodlester
07-09-13, 08:29
Totally agree - common sense really...

Thanks guys :)

almamatters
07-09-13, 09:23
Really good advice and especially the bit about people thanking you for replying , If you have 'opened up' to someone about your situation and your reply is basically ignored it is a horrible feeling and does put you off answering again. It is nice to feel your reply is appreciated.

venusbluejeans
07-09-13, 09:32
Thank you :) hopefully the things we have been thinking about will help us and all the members when making the most of their visits to NMP.

now make sure you all behave for Nic until I get back off holiday :roflmao:

BobbyDog
07-09-13, 10:42
I agree with everything said, a lot of it boils down to manners and some are obviously lacking, it doesn't cost anything to be polite and considerate to others.

Recovery is down to ourselves, it takes hard work and continuous positivity when we feel like giving up, medication and advice are very helpful to a lot of people, but the power of recovery comes from within.

And yes, people set up threads about subjects already covered by a lot of other people, perhaps they could just add to the ones already there.

I appreciate everything you all do for the community at NMP.X

Col
07-09-13, 12:56
Great advice xxxx

PanchoGoz
07-09-13, 14:05
Bump bump bump!

AuntieMoosie
07-09-13, 14:28
Just one more think that I'd like to add if I may please.

Remember that when you come on NMP asking for advice, the advice you receive will always be the most helpful that a member feels is right for you :)

I do sometimes get a little rattled, not often though, when someone asks for advice, then members come along giving that person very constructive advice, only for the original poster to get annoyed and ending up taking the replies completely the wrong way.

All advice given here is meant to help the original poster, it may not be the answer that you wanted, but it will always be helpful and constructive. So please can I ask that we are all considerate to each other, respect each others opinions and are grateful for the time and attention given to us :)

Many thanks :hugs:

ricardo
07-09-13, 18:00
I agree entirely with everything nicola has said and though it may seem tedious I am at the moment keeping my current thread on going. Anyone genuinely interested in helping or advising will have had to have read from the onset. I always thank people who reply but as I stated earlier today we are all different and personally when I am feeling as I am now I can't concentrate to blog away.
I would only say that in some cases that recovery being down to ourselves is not always initially possible,however strong people think they are, as support is needed, as I am realising more and more.

maggielea
07-09-13, 22:52
giving advice is easy, for the minute you give advice you forget you have a problem at all it helps to block out the turmoil your going through, receiving advice means you have to listen and think about everything in your own life again and again and this is the scariest thing for a sufferer.

Elen
08-09-13, 09:12
bump

hanshan
08-09-13, 09:23
It seems half or so of posts in Active Topics relate to health anxiety, that is, the person involved is not focused on their anxiety, but on a symptom which they think may be indicative of a physical illness (cancer or heart disease, etc).

If a person thinks they may have a physical illness, then really the only advice you can give is "See your doctor". Anything else is just reassurance.

My question is - does this reassurance help or feed the problem?

Edie
08-09-13, 10:01
Hi Hanshan, I've noticed this too about the HA section. There are a lot of people worrying they have a physical illness, but not a lot of people asking how to deal with the underlying issue of health anxiety. Reassurance may help the immediate crisis (or may go ignored). I don't think it feeds the problem, but it certainly doesn't have any long-term benefit.

venusbluejeans
08-09-13, 10:48
can I just say that this thread was never about how best to give advice or if people listen to the advice (although it is can be very annoying if you are) or if it makes them worse etc....

This thread was made in conjunctions with the Admins and Chat moderators, to think about how members could make the best of visits to NMP and things that we have noticed have been happening that have multiplied our work load.

We just ask that you read the points we have made and think about them so all in all it makes NMP an easier and happier community to be part of and also helps with The admins work load

Emmz

Fishmanpa
08-09-13, 15:25
It seems half or so of posts in Active Topics relate to health anxiety, that is, the person involved is not focused on their anxiety, but on a symptom which they think may be indicative of a physical illness (cancer or heart disease, etc).

If a person thinks they may have a physical illness, then really the only advice you can give is "See your doctor". Anything else is just reassurance.

My question is - does this reassurance help or feed the problem?

That's an interesting question. I believe it's comforting to a degree that one knows they're not alone in feeling the way they feel. I often see practical advice being ignored totally. It's as if the person "wants" to have the illness they're stressing about and they're here just to vent their feelings and to seek sympathy and reassurance. Perhaps that's part of the beast called anxiety, I don't really know but there does seem to be a pattern to it. You have a valid point that reassurance just feeds the problem.

It comes down to truly wanting to help themselves as said in Nicola's post. No amount of advice or reassurance will do any good if the individual does not take action and do something about it!

Positive thoughts and prayers.

Tessar
08-09-13, 22:43
When it comes to adding new threads...... I am sure it's very tempting to do this, even if there are threads on similar or the same subject already on the forums.
I have had to work on being a "habitual attention seeker" for a long time now. I know that seeking attention is counter productive for me. It needs to be avoided or I feed off it.
I openly admit There are times I yearn to "own" a thread that would attract loads of lovely caring posts. It would make me feel cared for and looked after.
But ultimately, I have to remind myself that if I am going to start a new thread, or to post my needs in an existing thread.......it needs to be because deep-down I really do need to share what's on my mind. And not because it will feel good to receive support.
In other words, I am doing it not for out and out attention but because I need constructive help from others to help me past a stumbling block.
I find that receiving alternative viewpoints here is what helps me past difficulties.
(& hugs here & there is of course beneficial as well...)

venusbluejeans
27-09-13, 13:50
The original post has now been edited slightly, please take the time to have a look

AuntieMoosie
28-09-13, 00:13
Have read again and I agree fully :) :hugs:

Daisy Sue
28-09-13, 06:30
Have read again and I agree fully :) :hugs:

Me too :)

venusbluejeans
28-09-13, 18:24
Thank you ladies :D

Tessar
28-09-13, 19:58
I agree too

venusbluejeans
29-09-13, 00:56
thank you :)

vicky23
29-09-13, 09:48
good stuff :)

blue moon
30-09-13, 08:34
Bump:D

venusbluejeans
20-02-14, 00:45
I just want to Bump this thread as I think some people need to read through the original post again.

I think the following points need to be thought about as the Admins spend a lot of the day moving posts around the forum and it is very frustrating that we have to spend most of our time doing it.





Dramatic /uninformative subject titles

This has been covered before but we will copy it here again.

Please could Members have a think about the type of titles they are using for threads.

This is for your sake as your choice of title may make a difference to if someone answers your thread or not.

When people look through the 'Active Topic' list they tend to look at the title and make a decision there and then if they have the experience to answer the thread before they even click to read your thread.

It therefore helps if your title lets the reader know about your thread.

There have been quite a few threads recently with titles such as "please Help me" "read this" or just "I need Help"...... These titles although 'dramatic' may tend to get ignored even though the poster needs help.

There are a lot of threads stating things like "I have cancer", "I am going to die", "I have a brain tumour", "I can't live anymore" and these are on the whole untrue, unfounded and just a reaction to a symptom.

Titles saying more about your problem are more likely to get you a reply..... such as "panicking about my headache" or "worried about my Heart tests tomorrow" may get more replies as people with experience who can give advice or help will know what the thread is about.

We will amend titles that are inappropriate.


Post in the relevant forum

Some members seem to think that every post has to be in the Health Anxiety forum. The reason we created many sub-forums was so that you could easily find people with similar experiences and problems.

We will move posts to the correct forum if we feel they are in the wrong place.