It's getting me

[mummyanxious]

I think my health anxiety is getting its grip again.
I'm useless when I get poorly.
I'm utterly convinced I've got cancer. Past couple of weeks I have been so tired. So unnaturally tired. I've had quite a few bruises on my legs lately. Just when one clears up another appears. And now I've got this damn chest complaint. Everyone in my family has had this chesty cough but I've developed pleurisy. It can only mean one thing to me and I'm so so very scared.
I thought I'd gotten over all this, I thought I'd moved to a good place with my health anxiety. It was just my heart that was bothering me and even that had been worrying me less lately.

[AuntieMoosie]

Aww I'm sorry it's getting a hold on you again hun.

I don't really know much at all about having pleurisy but I guess it's the same with any illness that we have, and that is that illness can really drain our bodies and minds. It's where our bodies are busy fighting the illness and trying to get us better, so it uses up all of the reserves pretty quickly :)

What's your eating like right now hun??

It's ever so important to eat a really healthy diet when recovering from illness. Lot's of protein, carbohydrates, vitamins and iron is the way to go. It's far better to eat the foods with these things in them, rather than taking supplements :)

With the anxiety, I would try a little distraction hun. The trick is to try and stop the scary thoughts taking over and a good way to do that is to quickly distract yourself :)

Also you could try to rationalise the scary thoughts too. Tell yourself that this illness will pass and you will get better, there's nothing dreadful happening and it's all okay :hugs:

[mummyanxious]

I am having an absolute panic attack now. Feeling wiped out today, just gone to the toilet and found a load more little bruises on my top legs. I can work out probably how I've got the ones on the bottom of my legs. But oh my I am almost breaking down now. This cannot be happening. I don't want to die.

[mummyanxious]

Urgh juke woke up feeling like I am going to vomit :( Hopefully a side effect of the anti biotics but can't really take another five days of feeling like this :(
Sometimes I love this place but sometimes its so upsetting when nobody replies :(

---------- Post added at 00:27 ---------- Previous post was at 00:26 ----------

Sorry forgot to add a ty to AM for your reply.
My eating is ok. Not the best but I do eat regular meals.

[nomorepanic]

I think sometimes people run out of things/advice to say/give to be honest - nothing personal

[mummyanxious]

Yes I can appreciate that. When I was here a few years ago the board was so much busier, there never seems many people around. Maybe that's a good thing.

I just cannot stop scrutinising my body for bruises now. I'm constantly looking at my arms and legs.

I seem to always feel poorly with some virus or other. I probably have a break of a week when I feel okish and then I'm back down with something else. Usually sine thing mild. But this has been my second quite big illness in a year. And I'm just so tired all the time. I'm sure this cannot be normal.

[Tilly Flop]

Worrying about it all is probably tiring you out even more, it's that vicious circle again isn't it. :weep:

[skippy66]

What you need to do is stop using reassurance from this site as a crutch. I did this and now I realise that it only makes the vicious cycle of HA worse.

I went through the same kind of phase you are going through now. What you have to remember is that it is just a phase and you will feel better. These words probably seem meaningless to you now but you must believe them.

No amount of reassurance-seeking will work to get you out of this, what you need to do is accept the symptoms, stop being afraid of them, face them and think 'to hell with them' - just get on with things in spite of them.

If you knew everyone was going to be wiped out by a meteor next week, how would you live your life now? Would you still be worrying about whether you had cancer or would you get out there and enjoy this beautiful day to the full?

[mummyanxious]

Skippy I know what you're saying and I appreciate your words. But actual visual problems such as lumps and bruises are not caused by anxiety.
And sometimes people just want someone who they can relate to them. I appreciate you mean well but I've seen a few of your posts lately and its almost like you're on a mini crusade. I know you probably are only trying to help but people have to reach this stage and go through these issues in the process on the way to being better.
When someone had been ill over and over and over again its very upsetting.

---------- Post added at 10:03 ---------- Previous post was at 10:03 ----------

I'm really happy you're in a better place now btw.

[skippy66]

If it seems like I'm on a mini-crusade it's because I can 100% relate to what you're going through and my goal is to help you out of this. The problem is I know how desperate you are for reassurance like I was, it does help a bit in the short term but it's only going to make things worse in the long term.

I have not suggested that your symptoms are caused by anxiety. One thing that used to frustrate me so much was when doctors/friends/family told me that my symptoms were all in my head or caused by stress. I knew that absolutely couldn't be the case - my stabbing stomach pains were not 'in my head'. My heart palpitations were not caused by my mind. The lumps I had/have on my head/collarbone/foot were obviously not caused by anxiety.

Please watch this video about Nick Vujicic, it's only 4 minutes long: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE

Let me know if it makes you feel any more positive. Hope it helps.

[jillyb]

Sorry you are feeling so awful. I know what it's like when you become obsessed with worry ... I'm doing it now with this TMJ which I can't get my head around. Just can't accept all these dreadful nerve pains and muscle spasms are all linked to my anxiety and its a vicious cycle that I can't seem to break. I'm sure your bruises are nothing to worry about but I know that doesn't help! I know what you mean when you say you feel ill a lot, I think it's the stress that wears us down and then we are more susceptible. I also think, from experience, that our minds also contribute to this. My husband is sick of me saying 'I don't feel well' (and I genuinely don't) but then am able to march up the hill from the beach! Oh to be free from this damned HA! Take care and remember you are not alone x
Skippy ... Have just watched the amazing video ... Thanks for putting the link.