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View Full Version : Moving across country with agoraphobia.



babyboat
07-09-13, 21:33
I'm 26 years old and I've been agoraphobic since I was 14. I'm pretty much completely housebound - at times I can walk into my yard but rarely and nothing beyond that. I often have panic attacks in my house as well and I feel like I've made my bedroom my ultimate safe space, as I feel extremely uncomfortable roaming around if anyone else is home. I've lived in the same house I have always lived in, but I need to move across the country in just a few months to be with my boyfriend. I try exposure therapy as often as possible but I don't get much further than my yard. When I reach a certain point it feels like there's some type of invisible force holding me back. I cannot get my feet to carry me any further. My knees start shaking, my derealization starts intensifying, I sweat profusely, both my vision and hearing intensify to the point the everything is almost echoing and everything looks blurry. It feels like I'm about to faint any second - though I never have. But these physical sensations are incredibly intense. I've mastered CBT to the point where I've taught and have helped cure anxiety sufferers, yet my anxiety is still extremely high. I've never met anyone else who has such intense, long-lasting panic attacks (mine can last anywhere up to 7-10 hours, relentlessly) nor anyone who had so many limitations. I have met other agoraphobics, but usually even they can travel a couple miles away from home with a safe person or at least have freedom in their house.

How am I supposed to move across the country in this condition? How can I take the steps I need to take to get there? I feel like this will ultimately be an amazingly good thing for me as it will provide an instant change of scenery and will completely eliminate all the safe places I've created for myself. Just getting there seems so challenging.

I'm currently taking anywhere from 2-6 mg of Klonopin every day, which has helped (pre-Klonopin, I was panicking so intensely that I went through a period of never being able to be alone and my derealization was constant), I've tried SSRI medications (probably 4 or 5 of them - they've all caused manic episodes). I'm also wondering which airline is best for those with disabilities? I just want this to go as smoothly as possible.

If it matters at all, I've also been diagnosed with bi polar II, PTSD and depression. Though the agoraphobia is what's really holding me back in this situation.

If anyone has moved at all while being super agoraphobic, please share your story with me! The points leading up the move, the actual traveling and settling into your new environment. Any tips would be so appreciated.

Sorry if you've seen this, I am cross-posting to a few other anxiety message boards, I'm trying to get as many opinions as possible.

Fishmanpa
07-09-13, 22:45
Forgive me for asking, but how did you get into a serious relationship if you rarely leave the house or go out past your back yard? Also, based on the fears and issues you mentioned in your post, why would you agree to move across the country?

babyboat
08-09-13, 03:18
Forgive me for asking, but how did you get into a serious relationship if you rarely leave the house or go out past your back yard? Also, based on the fears and issues you mentioned in your post, why would you agree to move across the country?

We met online. I've had several relationships throughout the years, there are a lot of understanding people out there.

I agreed to move because I love him and want to spend my life with him. He has a great job, whereas I don't have anything here and I'm hopeful that I won't always be this way. He knows this is a huge struggle and is helping me in every way he can. It's not 100% happening, obviously. But it's something I feel I desperately need to do. If I don't make goals for myself that involve a better future, I don't see much of a point in sticking around because the present is pretty awful.

cat85pink
09-09-13, 02:17
Hi

I'll speak to you how you speak to others to help them,

Nothing bad is going to happen,
The feeling of panic is your body preparing its self to flight (run away) of fight (danger) its completely normal and harmless, it will pass even in 10 hours at some point it passes, you have created safe places your bedroom & yard, and because you've never been further for so long its become an impossible task,

Im not gonna lie to you you'll be anxious and panicky whilst moving, probably feel really ill, but tell yourself it will pass, and if you give in & go to your safe place you have told your mindyou cant do it, so it gets harder & harder,

Im 28 been agoraphobic since I was 17,
At my worst I couldn't get down my lane,
But I was happy to stay home (my family home since birth) & go in my garden, I still got anxious when anybody visited the family,

In 2009 I got talking to a man online, & we clicked, he was a friend of a friend, we had a date in a pub 5 mins from my home, he changed my life got me into our local town, I felt so happy

We married & moved half a mile from my family home in 2010
It was great I came of all medication to start a family, in 2011 I had a couple of set backs, but now I can travel in the car around our local town, I have bad days when I stay home, but I have great days where I can manage to get 18 mile away to a great shopping centre!

We are moving house again this week one mile away, im excited and nervous so much to do and sort,

You can do this! This could be what you need to make a little progress,

Good luck

Your boyfriend will be so proud of you and you will be too

Fishmanpa
09-09-13, 03:03
Well good for you! I met my gf online. She moved to be with me two years ago. Things are going wonderfully. (shhh.. she doesn't know it but I'm proposing to her this Christmas on our 3rd anniversary together :D )

Good luck, positive thoughts and prayers

cat85pink
09-09-13, 03:09
How exciting we got engaged on Christmas day she'll love the surprise, better than any present